My Morning Jacket

Off-Topic => Off-Topic Ramblings => Topic started by: dragonboy on Oct 25, 2008, 12:05 AM

Title: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Oct 25, 2008, 12:05 AM
I once met David Gilmour in a pub in Henley, sat by himself reading the newspaper & enjoying a pint. I found the courage to I go up to him & nervously said something embarrassing like "Sorry to bother you Mr. Gilmour but I just wanted to tell you have amazing I think your music is."
He said thanks very much and insisted that I sit down! We talked for hours about his life, Pink Floyd and music etc & the whole time he bought me drinks, he wouldn't let me pay for a single round!

True story...
Title: Re: The Complete & Utter Lies Thread!!!
Post by: red on Oct 25, 2008, 12:07 AM
That ridiculous story inspired me to listen to "Echoes".  

True story?  You be the judge.   :o
Title: Re: The Complete & Utter Lies Thread!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Oct 25, 2008, 12:10 AM
QuoteThat ridiculous story inspired me to listen to "Echoes".  

True story?  You be the judge.   :o
If I ever quit the forum it will be your fault entirely K...
Title: Re: The Complete & Utter Lies Thread!!!
Post by: red on Oct 25, 2008, 12:14 AM
QuoteIf I ever quit the forum it will be your fault entirely K...
Oh shit!  I don't want that blood on my feeble hands!!!  
Title: Re: The Complete & Utter Lies Thread!!!
Post by: ycartrob on Oct 25, 2008, 01:11 AM
When I was in the Coast Guard up in Gloucester, Massachusetts, we boarded a lobster boat pulling it's traps after dark with no running lights. We boarded the boat and asked to see the 3 gentlemen's ID's: Jim Morrison, Elvis Presley and Jimmy Hoffa.

We just got back on our boat and sped off.

True story...
Title: Re: The Complete & Utter Lies Thread!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Oct 25, 2008, 01:50 AM
There's a certain type of Stilton that, if eaten whilst drinking a certain type of Beaujolais causes instant amnesia...or in extreme cases death!

I tried to update Wikipedia to alert the general public but the information I posted was deleted  :-?

True story...

Title: Re: The Complete & Utter Lies Thread!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Oct 25, 2008, 02:10 AM
That guy from Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo was in the final 3 for the new James Bond, along with Daniel Craig and Don Cheadle.

True story...
Title: Re: The Complete & Utter Lies Thread!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Oct 25, 2008, 02:19 AM
Jam spelled backwards is majic (old English for magic) but only if you're standing in front of a mirror.

True fact...
Title: Re: The Complete & Utter Lies Thread!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Oct 25, 2008, 02:43 AM
This one time, when I was the only person on the forum, Jim signed in & we chatted for a few minutes about our shared love of Elvis Presley.

Unfortunately, the posts were later deleted, probably by the C.I.A.

True story...
Title: Re: The Complete & Utter Lies Thread!!!
Post by: purvis9876 on Oct 25, 2008, 03:14 AM
Whilst having sex with my girlfriend, I yelled out her hot friend's name. Instead of getting mad, she called up the friend and we all three  ::) all night long.

True story..
Title: Re: The Complete & Utter Lies Thread!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Oct 25, 2008, 03:23 AM
QuoteWhilst having sex with my girlfriend, I yelled out her hot friend's name. Instead of getting mad, she called up the friend and we all three  ::) all night long.

True story..
It's true stories like these that give the rest of us all hope!  
Thanks for sharing Purvis!
Title: Re: The Complete & Utter Lies Thread!!!
Post by: purvis9876 on Oct 25, 2008, 03:26 AM
Quote
QuoteWhilst having sex with my girlfriend, I yelled out her hot friend's name. Instead of getting mad, she called up the friend and we all three  ::) all night long.

True story..
It's true stories like these that give the rest of us all hope!  
Thanks for sharing Purvis!

I do what I can.  ;)

Side note: great idea for a thread. This should get interesting.
Title: Re: The Complete & Utter Lies Thread!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Oct 25, 2008, 03:27 AM
Cucumbers any longer than 40cms should be referred to by their correct name hugecumbers.

True fact...
Title: Re: The Complete & Utter Lies Thread!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Oct 25, 2008, 03:32 AM
QuoteSide note: great idea for a thread. This should get interesting.
Thanks but I shouldn't really take credit. The idea was actually suggested by Lou Rawls, who visited me in a dream!

True story...
Title: Re: The Complete & Utter Lies Thread!!!
Post by: purvis9876 on Oct 25, 2008, 03:34 AM
Whenever it's time for bed, like now, a red switch comes out of my chest that I can press to cut me off for sleep. A strict 4 hour and 15 minute nap ends with Ba-Baran lightly being played.... It really helps on those mornings when it's hard to get out of bed.

True fact...
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Oct 25, 2008, 08:58 AM
79% of Canadians would prefer Powderfinger for their National Anthem.

True fact...
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Oct 25, 2008, 12:18 PM
Although I've never laughed in the face of danger as such, I did allow myself a quiet chuckle when confronted by an angry Rhino one time in Kenya.

True story...
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: red on Oct 25, 2008, 12:25 PM
Quote79% of Canadians would prefer Powderfinger for their National Anthem.

True fact...
;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: easy way on Oct 25, 2008, 11:03 PM
Everything that I say is a lie...except for that.
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: easy way on Oct 25, 2008, 11:03 PM
...and that.
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: easy way on Oct 25, 2008, 11:03 PM
...and that.
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: purvis9876 on Oct 25, 2008, 11:05 PM
Five times out of seven, if you aren't able to decipher Hieroglyphics, it sometimes means you're illiterate.

True Fact...
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Oct 26, 2008, 12:14 AM
My wife hates Jim & the boys and often refers to them as My Morning 'Racket'

True story...
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Oct 26, 2008, 04:52 AM
This is my fav movie of all time:

[media]http://jp.youtube.com/watch?v=nPLmYcQaVVE[/media]

True story...
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: aMillionDreams on Oct 26, 2008, 09:17 AM
My underwear is composed of 100% used bandaids.
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: ManNamedTruth on Oct 27, 2008, 07:10 AM
This is a terrible thread, DB!
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: ManNamedTruth on Oct 27, 2008, 07:14 AM
I'm an honored thespian. James Lipton was supposed to interview me, but I had to cancel.

E True Hollywood Story.....
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: purvis9876 on Oct 27, 2008, 07:30 PM
Most times I'm not able to get to sleep at night. All I can think of is how much people admire me. I run their compliments over and over through my head; like sheep. It really makes them look bad. Their jealousy is scathing at times. Who could blame them though?. I mean, sheesh... LOOK AT ME!


True Fact...
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Oct 27, 2008, 09:44 PM
I miss the exciting days of Bennifer  :'(

True story...
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: purvis9876 on Oct 30, 2008, 09:35 PM
Each Halloween, my wench and I sacrifice a newly born rat on an altar that sits at the foot of our love pit(bed).

True Story...
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Oct 31, 2008, 06:31 AM
The Source's year end lists are in!!! The greatest rapper of all time?.....PaRappa The Rapper!!!

(http://news.filefront.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/parappa_1_jz.jpg)

http://www.thesource.com/2008/09/612/#more-612
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: purvis9876 on Nov 03, 2008, 02:33 PM
Twice a week I enjoy my daily tractor rides.


True story..
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: easy way on Nov 04, 2008, 12:42 AM
I'm pretty sure this thread is just an outlet for a bunch of freaks to confess their secrets without being held accountable...

true story
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: easy way on Nov 04, 2008, 12:43 AM
...and that.
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: capt. scotty on Nov 04, 2008, 12:49 AM
I now know why DB has nearly 10,000 posts

True Story....





oh, wait...
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Nov 04, 2008, 06:27 AM
QuoteI now know why DB has nearly 10,000 posts

True Story....





oh, wait...
Quantity, not quality!!!  ;D
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: purvis9876 on Nov 07, 2008, 08:40 PM
I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things
We can do the tango just for two
I can serenade and gently play on your heart strings
Be your valentino just for you

True story...
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: kydiddle on Nov 07, 2008, 08:46 PM
I shot wolves from an airplane with Sarah Palin.

True story.
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: purvis9876 on Nov 07, 2008, 08:48 PM
QuoteI shot wolves from an airplane with Sarah Palin.

True story.

Does she have to remove her human skin to feed?
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: dragonboy on Nov 07, 2008, 10:45 PM
QuoteI shot wolves from an airplane with Sarah Palin.

True story.
Haha that's a great one! I found one of the injured wolves that she shot but didn't kill, nursed it back to health & joined it's pack for about 6 months. Kind of like Mowgli, you say!

True story...
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: kydiddle on Nov 08, 2008, 03:08 PM
Quote
QuoteI shot wolves from an airplane with Sarah Palin.

True story.

Does she have to remove her human skin to feed?

Yes.
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: kydiddle on Nov 08, 2008, 03:08 PM
Quote
QuoteI shot wolves from an airplane with Sarah Palin.

True story.
Haha that's a great one! I found one of the injured wolves that she shot but didn't kill, nursed it back to health & joined it's pack for about 6 months. Kind of like Mowgli, you say!

True story...

I saw that on the news last night!!

True story...
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: weeniebeenie on Nov 09, 2008, 05:19 AM
QuoteI can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things
We can do the tango just for two
I can serenade and gently play on your heart strings
Be your valentino just for you

True story...
Dining at the Ritz?
We'll meet at 9....Precisely. ;)
Title: Re: Complete & Utter Lies!!!
Post by: purvis9876 on Nov 09, 2008, 06:10 PM
Quote
QuoteI can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things
We can do the tango just for two
I can serenade and gently play on your heart strings
Be your valentino just for you

True story...
Dining at the Ritz?
We'll meet at 9....Precisely. ;)

I'm going to be busy and in a hurry. We had just better make it Burger King.