So sorry.......,;..

[utonynashm]

i am sorry and was so fucking wrong in anything i ever did here...
my friend that died of a seziure and was found in his dorm....i just came back from the wake and all that......... ....i kinda broke down in a way when I was there...saw his family and hugged and stuff they were saying how much he loved me and always talked about me and my music.....and havent seen him for a year, we kinda grew apart..mann...

the fucking tears wont stop rolling down my fucking useless face....
when i was there i thought of nothing but the goodtimes johnny D and I had........and we cant have any now...@!

i look like a pussy i dont care anymore....life is so fucking short anf fragile and all of that....this is the last time you willl ever see me here

i really really wish you  all the best...

serosusily, i wish peace to all of you or any of you that even read this.....i can say anything of else of worth....i cant,,,

just remember the good times

i hope the most postive of futres for all of you!.//

kneeling and saying some stuff in my head for him in front of his body,,,,he always loved the beatles and all good music...he was open..
vodkaa is the only thing helping me right now....i drank before i went......i m sucking it down noww....i feel so fucking bad for his fmaily....h e has som any friends too......im done....
i got some beatles on now and cant stop crying......

seripsuly, how can we make sense of this shit....the fucking kid was 21!!!!!

if there was a god this fucking shit would NOTt happen!

fuck god fuck relgion...this is bullshit,......his famiyl has to fucking bury him...he was 21....why the fuck am i still here???
im the rotten one....what did he do to get thsi......
i feel so god damn numb....

i am sos sorry.....oh man.....


here iss a articel::

http://www.wstm.com/Global/story.asp?S=4118291



http://www.legacy.com/buffalonews/LegacyHome.asp

scrroll down the the D''s...John L. Dlugosz...

RIP man....

[EC]

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend, Tony.  That must be a really hard thing.  I hope you're doing okay.  

(stay off yer vodka a little, though, hey?)

Don't lose touch here, though.  Okay?  

I'm so sorry.  

[Angry Ewok]

if there was a god this fucking shit would NOTt happen!

I've been in your shoes a few times... the last time, I got completely fucked up on Jack Daniels and what else... and ended the night by tossing my bible into my closet - I did the whole "God doesn't exist, fuck him," thing, too. For a while, at least.

The one thing you need to do is keep yourself in check. It might do you good to think of how your friend would like you to live your life, as surely he would.

[sweatboard]

Sorry to hear that Tony.  I know it's hard to loose someone you love dearly.  Hang in there.

[SMc55]

Hey Tony, I was just thinking about you today. Really sorry to hear about your friend and that you're having such a tough time.

[utonynashm]

Hey--you guys and what you said mean a lot!!!

Thank you, for even giving me the time of day.

Trying to stay strong.

[beband]

Tony,
So Sorry to hear of this.  Believe it or not, I know how you and this family feels.  I lost a son when he was only 5 months old.  He lived such a short life, but I never learned more about love from anyone than I did from him.
I don't want to make this a big religious thing, but I do feel the need to tell you God IS there, but did not cause this.  He does not smite people like is so often the misconception.  He loves them, and He loved your friend and you.  God will use this situation for good if you let Him.  The good...what is it...you are still here!  You can be the testimnoy for your friend's life.  You can change your life (assuming there's things you want to change).  This will be the good that God will use.  And YOU will be the blessing to others.
I hate to tell you, but the pain only eases...but never goes away.  I still miss my son terribly, but I am changing things in my life and allowing God to use the love that little boy showed me, to change me and to give to others.
Man, I feel for you and for your friends family.  I hope you will do better in the coming days, and I pray peace and comfort for you.  I'm not going to tell you not to drink, and not to cry, because I believe those things sometimes can help.  It's not un-manly to cry.  Grieve as much as you need to...just try and be smart when you are drinking and stay put!!!!!  We don't want to lose you too!
Hopefully, your friend,
C

[ratsprayer]

i wont talk to you about god because well i have my own beliefs about that.  the higher power, who i like to call mother earth, can be a bitch, but she knows what shes doing and strangely enough has reasons for things.  tony, i dont know you at all, but with all the shit youve had to go through, i think youre destined for big things, so stick it out and reap wots to come for you.  stay strong, be around those who care, and know music is a great tool to get you through anything.

cheers!

[utonynashm]

Again...you guys are really helping me.

I will never forget that.

I was thinking of writing a song and trying my best to sing on it and recording it and maybe sometime down the line--sending the cd to John's family.

I am conflcited on it though.  I would have to keep the lyrics positive.

[corey]

I was thinking of writing a song and trying my best to sing on it and recording it and maybe sometime down the line--sending the cd to John's family.

That sounds like it could be very therapeautic. You may want to give that a shot. This guy that I know died in a car crash 6-7 years ago and his best friend wrote a song for the family and it helped him deal with it quite a bit.

As far as staying positive, think along the lines of "What a wonderful man". Jim said that he wanted to remember his friend and he knew that writing a goofy-ass song like that would do his friend justice. I personally don't think it's goofy, but I'm just going by what the man said. I think it's a lovely tribute to someone that he obviously loved.

[Ophelia]

I do not know you, but it made me sad to read about your friend. I hope that you will one day find peace as he has.

[peanut butter puddin surprise]

you have many friends here to talk to if you need to.  :)

[waxy]

It sucks to loose friends...especially at such an age...I know how it feels...I hope you find peace within yourself.

[Zgirl]

  that's very very sad.  I'm so sorry to hear that  :'(

stay strong

[utonynashm]

Again, this means SO much to me!

I am feeling better now.  

Just move on I guess...

[EC]

Again, this means SO much to me!

I am feeling better now.  

Just move on I guess...

I'm glad you're feeling better.  :)

[SMc55]

Again, this means SO much to me!
I am feeling better now.  

That's what friends are for, Tony.
Write the song when you think you're ready. That'll probably help too.

[lyricjunkie]

Tony....
Time sucks....but it heals darlin'.  
I like remembering all the love and laughter that I shared with those I've lost.  It helps me when I miss em.  

And....if you can find your smile again....your friend would be pleased.  

(((((hugs))))))

[dragonboy]

Pleased to hear you're feeling a little better.
Time is a healer, I know you can't see that now & I know that doesn't bring your friend back but it's true.
Remember the good times & stay strong!
Cheers.

[utonynashm]

Thanks! ;)