Clemens is cooked

[Penny Lane]

waste of taxpayer money? (or not) the comments are pretty funny:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/blog/index?entryID=3243182&name=congressional_hearings

this is my favorite bit:

11:41 a.m. ET
Curt Schilling had the bloody sock. Roger now has the bloody pants.

Rep. Davis reported that McNamee had testified that Mike Stanton once noticed that Clemens was bleeding through his dress pants -- which caused him to start carrying band aids around, presumably for his bleeding butt. Yikes.

Prompting the following surreal exchange:

Davis: "Mr. Clemens, do you recall bleeding through your pants in 2001?"

Clemens: "I do not."

You can't make this stuff up.

[kyjed48]

Sounds like he needs more than band-aids for a problem like that!  He should check into some "Oops I crapped my pants".  Gotta love SNL!

[.Walt]

Curt Schilling had the bloody sock. Roger now has the bloody pants.

;D

[joey_rogo]

Curt Schilling had the bloody sock. Roger now has the bloody pants.

;D

;D ;D

[TheBigChicken]

So does this mean the Yankees have to turn over all the World Series rings that they CHEATED to get...I mean almost half the fucking pitching staff is all HGH 'ed up...The Patriots use a video camera to cheat , Marion Jones cheats, Yankees cheat... Hell, does anybody not cheat :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/

[Penny Lane]

So does this mean the Yankees have to turn over all the World Series rings that they CHEATED to get...I mean almost half the fucking pitching staff is all HGH 'ed up...The Patriots use a video camera to cheat , Marion Jones cheats, Yankees cheat... Hell, does anybody not cheat :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/

this stuff was legal at the time, right? is that cheating? and this was pretty rampant on every team--i just think everyone should just come clean about it so we can all move on. i think it's unfair to target 2 dealers/suppliers (mcnamee and the other guy) and their people when the whole league and every other sport was using it. maybe i'm missing something...

[brkndwnbus]

So does this mean the Yankees have to turn over all the World Series rings that they CHEATED to get...I mean almost half the fucking pitching staff is all HGH 'ed up...The Patriots use a video camera to cheat , Marion Jones cheats, Yankees cheat... Hell, does anybody not cheat :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/

this stuff was legal at the time, right? is that cheating? and this was pretty rampant on every team--i just think everyone should just come clean about it so we can all move on. i think it's unfair to target 2 dealers/suppliers (mcnamee and the other guy) and their people when the whole league and every other sport was using it. maybe i'm missing something...

I don't think it was legal, it just wasn't tested for and had no penalty...someone who watches baseball, correct me if I am wrong...I don't follow the sport, unless there is negative stuff about it...I know, I know...but I hate baseball....

Got to love how Godell had his meeting yesterday and confirmed The Patriots have been videotaping since 2000 and ESPN is barely talking about it...smart move by the NFL...but they shouldn't be let off the hook for steroids or taping...they just seem to handle things better.

[ManNamedTruth]

So does this mean the Yankees have to turn over all the World Series rings that they CHEATED to get...I mean almost half the fucking pitching staff is all HGH 'ed up...The Patriots use a video camera to cheat , Marion Jones cheats, Yankees cheat... Hell, does anybody not cheat :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/

this stuff was legal at the time, right? is that cheating? and this was pretty rampant on every team--i just think everyone should just come clean about it so we can all move on. i think it's unfair to target 2 dealers/suppliers (mcnamee and the other guy) and their people when the whole league and every other sport was using it. maybe i'm missing something...

I don't think it was legal, it just wasn't tested for and had no penalty...someone who watches baseball, correct me if I am wrong...I don't follow the sport, unless there is negative stuff about it...I know, I know...but I hate baseball....

Got to love how Godell had his meeting yesterday and confirmed The Patriots have been videotaping since 2000 and ESPN is barely talking about it...smart move by the NFL...but they shouldn't be let off the hook for steroids or taping...they just seem to handle things better.

Maybe the Pats should change their logo, here's a few ideas:

[Jaimoe]

I heard that if Roger is found guilty, Bush will pardon him. Clemens is a big friend of the Bush family. Using his wife as a HGH shield and having the Bush's on his side is the biggest act of cowardice since Robert Ford shot Jesse James.

[Jon T.]

I heard that if Roger is found guilty, Bush will pardon him. Clemens is a big friend of the Bush family. Using his wife as a HGH shield and having the Bush's on his side is the biggest act of cowardice since Robert Ford shot Jesse James.

By "heard" do you mean it is speculated?  That seems like it would probably be kind of classified at this point.  Interesting scenario, nonetheless.

[mjkoehler]

I heard that if Roger is found guilty, Bush will pardon him. Clemens is a big friend of the Bush family. Using his wife as a HGH shield and having the Bush's on his side is the biggest act of cowardice since Robert Ford shot Jesse James.

By "heard" do you mean it is speculated?  That seems like it would probably be kind of classified at this point.  Interesting scenario, nonetheless.

Read the same speculation (so did my wife)....really f'n shitty

[Angry Ewok]

Our congress is such a collective turd that I almost think our country is better off with them wasting our tax payer money discussing baseball and butt-bleeding instead of more pressing issues - like, oh, I dunno - phone tapping, bankrupted Social Security, restoring civil liberties, illegal immigration and increasing violence directed towards border patrol, kidnapped Americans in Mexico, tanking economy, troop funding and the war in Iraq and...

Maybe someone can answer this one for me, but how many days has this congress actually worked?

Maybe I'm just that jerk who thinks the congress should act like the People's employee, not the other way around... but I'm getting sick and tired of seeing these career politicians, with better bonuses than most corporate CEO's, work half-assed for maybe 100 days in the year.

[Penny Lane]

i'm not sure they make that much money, do they? (not that they have expenses) I agree though that they are coming across (once again) as morons...what's interesting is the political split right down the middle w/this issue. (meaning most of the repubs support clemens and most dems gunning for him) it reminds me of the hearings in the godfather pt. 2--either way this is going to drag out for a couple years

[mjkoehler]

Our congress is such a collective turd that I almost think our country is better off with them wasting our tax payer money discussing baseball and butt-bleeding instead of more pressing issues - like, oh, I dunno - phone tapping, bankrupted Social Security, restoring civil liberties, illegal immigration and increasing violence directed towards border patrol, kidnapped Americans in Mexico, tanking economy, troop funding and the war in Iraq and...

Maybe someone can answer this one for me, but how many days has this congress actually worked?

Maybe I'm just that jerk who thinks the congress should act like the People's employee, not the other way around... but I'm getting sick and tired of seeing these career politicians, with better bonuses than most corporate CEO's, work half-assed for maybe 100 days in the year.

Can't argue with ya here brotha as you are spot on. Glad to know they solved the ills of the country and can focus on the important things, like butt bleeding as you put it.

And people wonder why so many are disenfranchised....

[Jon T.]

The first few paragraphs pretty much sums this up.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080214

[BH]

The first few paragraphs pretty much sums this up.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080214

If you guys don't read Bill Simmons on a regular basis, you should.  I guarantee you will be entertained for the entire time you are reading.   Check this gem from the mailbag to get a taste....

Q: I just heard on the radio that there was a charity giving all the pre-printed championship garb of Super Bowl losers to needy children across the world. In all seriousness, I would first like to commend this cause -- it seems quite worthwhile. It would be hard, however, not to find some humor in this effort, right? Imagine the creation of a Bizarro Sports World in third-world villages across the globe. Craig Morton and Neil O'Donnell would be worshipped as heroes, and the Vikings and Bills would be celebrated as unbelievable dynasties.
-- Josh, Oakland, Calif.

SG(Bill): And it would be the one place where everyone thought the Patriots went 19-0! I always thought it would have been a great running joke if a plane crashed on the "Lost" island carrying boxes and boxes of pre-printed championship clothing to third-world countries, so the castaways starting wearing the clothes on the show and thinking that those "winning" teams were the ones that won titles in 2007. Come on, there's still time to work this idea into the show. We have three more years! Wouldn't you love to see Hurley wearing an XXXL "2007 COLORADO ROCKIES WORLD CHAMPIONS" T-shirt?