"I Want To Make Something That 'Feels Useful'"

[MamaKel]

Jim re-tweeted this today. It just made me cry. It hit that part of me that is inexpressible.  And it's just one of those things that is like a gong in your soul, and it just reverberates inside of you...and while the noise may diminish, it never dies, but rather, changes the way you hear sound thereafter.  It is like the letter from V for Vendetta that Evey reads from inside jail.  It is just the essence of what it means to be human.  And is completely useful because of that.

What I have to Offer on Vimeo

[MamaKel]

Thinking about this...trying to stop the tears from falling down my face as though there is some tourniquet or spout that will shut off the supply of emotion welling over inside my heart.

But the thing that I am contemplating is what Kaufman more or less refers to as the emptiness within us...that shadow self...as unknown to others as it is to our own selves...from where all of our vulnerability, our fear, our apathy is birthed.  And this emptiness...this loneliness...has been around since time immemorial...reoccurring like some mass psychology of karmic misery. It seems hard to pinpoint it's origins.  Some refer to it as "The Fall".  But my favorite description of it came from Ken Wilbur's book, "No Boundary". (If you look it up, I'm pretty sure you can still find this amazing conversation between Jim and Ken Wilbur from a few years back).  He refers to "it" as the moment we walked away from unity consciousness (God, if you will), and started to "name" every thing (like Adam (man)) in the garden...thus separating himself from his inter-connectivity with the whole of creation.  And I think while Kaufman got so much right in what he was saying, I think the one thing that he got wrong was that this "shadow self" is what makes you completely and utterly unlovable.  I think it is unlovable only so long as it remains a "shadow self".  I think the courage to express the pain and vulnerability one feels in a state of isolation is exactly what makes someone loveable.  And I think that love is the only way to encourage others to reveal this shadow self.  It is the light in the darkness.

Some say that God is Love. Perhaps in order to return to the state of unity consciousness and being that existed before The Fall, love is all we need.

[MamaKel]

http://www.jambase.com/Articles/17017/Jim-James-Free-Audio-Dialogue

Fer yer weekend getaway.

[LeanneP]

THe link to the audio no longer works :(  If anyone has an alternate source, I'd be very interested.

Jim's comment of wanting to "feel useful" reminds me of something my dad recently said. I've been estranged from my Dad for nearly four years - he doesn't really know my youngest son - and had another period in my 20s where I was estranged from him for about five years.  I adore him, but he had a tendency to be subtly abusive. Well, I've recently made the decision to reconnect so my kids could know him and it turned out that he was wildly different than the guy he was in my 20s and 30s. He's gotten really spiritual, but kooky spiritual.

Anyway, he was explaining his change to me and said that when he turned 60 a year and a bit ago, he realised that his own dad had died at 75 and if he, my dad, also died at 75 that gave him 15 years left. He asked himself what he wanted to do with the last 15 years of his life and he decided he wanted to be happy, bring happiness to other people and enhance the lives of those around him.   

That existential drive to be at peace with oneself and to put positive stuff out into the world is something I think most of us identify with. It seems to be what Jim's been searching for these many years. It's what my Dad is trying to live.

[MamaKel]

Thank you for sharing that. I think it is so relevant. It's amazing how one's conception of life can change with one's conception of time.  And I think it is really important that we all keep ourselves open to the possibility of change within both ourselves and within others.  A lot of the time, potential ceases to exist simply because we fail to recognize it.

I will look on my hard drive for that conversation. I really hope I still have it...because it's pretty magic. 

[meltingaway]

Mamakel that was great to read. Do you ever listen to the Duncan Trussell Family Hour Podcast? I think you'd dig it...you can listen on itunes

[MamaKel]

Melting Away...It's so strange, because I'd never heard of it before, and then someone else mentioned it this morning, so it must be one of those signs from the universe that I'm supposed to follow.  How do I go about listening to it? I'm not real savvy...

Thank you so much for the suggestion! I'm so excited to find out what this is all about!

[MamaKel]

Speaking of "What I Have To Offer"...this Nina Simone track pretty much says it...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZVQmJVXDkk

[meltingaway]

Mamakel, try this link:

http://duncantrussell.com/category/podcast/

or you can always go into itunes and search for his show--there are a few more i can recommend as well, but i feel like this might be a good start - comedy, philosophy and positivity

[MamaKel]

Aw, thanks pal...I really appreciate it!!!! I'm looking forward to listening to it!

[meltingaway]

u got it man, hope you enjoy!!