As if the institution of college isn't devastating and daunting enough to a high school senior in her first semester, I also have to consider where I want to live for the following four years of my life, on my own, without my mom's funding, without my warm bed and refridgerator. This, to me, is scary.
I am applying to a lot of schools - a lot that a wont get into and a few that I feel comfortable with, a lot I want to go to and a few that I would never. Most of them are Boston/New York schools, or surrounding areas. Brown, Tufts, Eugene Lang, NYU, Bard, Skidmore, Hampshire blah blah blah. Your regular liberal arts schools. All of these sound alright to me, but I don't know.
And then there's REED in Portland Oregon. I really like the mission statement and their philosophy and it sounds REALLY FUCKING RAD. But I have one huge concern: THE WEST COAST.
I am, by all means, into the East Coast. East Coast culture, East Coast weather, East Coast "attitude". I don't even know what that means, but all I know is that when I go to California to visit my grandparents there is something strange and there is a different vibe and I don't feel entirely comfortable. Maybe it's just 'cos I'm with my family and it's always hot and it's usually some minor Jewish holiday that I don't understand in the first place. And yes, I know just from the way people talk that San Diego and Portland are ENTIRELY different. That's not my biggest concern. Maybe it's the idea of moving to the other side of the country, maybe it's the fear of flying to get (what I can no longer call) home. Maybe it's just overwhelming, but I know that there's a lot of Portlanders on the board and I need some serious advice because applications (and early applications!) are due way too soon and I've never been more confused and overwhelmed and anxious.
All I know is that I like Boston. I like the security it has. I like that I can make my way across and throuhout the city without asking anyone how to get anywhere, and that I can sit on the steps of the train without being self concious. But if I don't leave now, will I ever? I don't want to be trapped here in my own safety bubble, but it seems like this may be too big of a jump.
IS PORTLAND AS AWESOME AS YOU PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SAYING OR IS IT CULTY AND WEIRD AND TOO ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY FOR SOMEONE WHO, YEAH, SURE I CARE ABOUT RECYCLING BUT I'M GOING TO EAT A CHEESEBURGER WITH CHEESE AND MEAT AND STUFF AND I MIGHT LITTER, AND SOMEONE WHO IS GOING TO BE IN COLLEGE AND WANTS TO BE HAPPY, BUT NOT STONED ALL THE TIME? IS IT CHEAP? CAN I LIVE FREE OR DIE? CAN I BE AS COMFORTABLE AND SELF AWARE THERE AS I AM HERE OR AM I GOING TO BE CAUGHT UP IN TRENDS THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IN THE FIRST PLACE? DOES IT ALWAYS RAIN OR ARE PEOPLE JUST SAYING THAT? CAN I EAT CHEESE BURGERS? CAN I READ BOOKS AND NOT TALK ABOUT THEM AND BE THE ONLY PERSON THAT LIKES GLENN GOULD AND GENUINELY CARE ABOUT JAZZ? ARE THERE PEOPLE THAT LIKE GLENN GOULD AND GENIUNELY CARE ABOUT JAZZ? I HOPE SO BUT I HOPE THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT IT, AND I HOPE THEY KEEP IT TO THEMSELVES BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO LIKE COOL THINGS* AND TALK ABOUT IT USUALLY ARE DUMB. (*CERTAIN COOL THINGS. NOT ALL COOL THINGS). ARE PEOPLE GOING TO SURF AND SKATEBOARD? ARE PEOPLE GOING TO SKATEBOARD AND SURF AT THE SAME TIME? WILL MEN HAVE THEIR SHIRTS OFF ALL THE TIME? WILL I WANT TO CRY A LOT? DO I EVER HAVE TO GO TO THE BEACH? DOES A BEACH EXIST IN PORTLAND?
I guess I don't know. I just have a million irrational fears, and for whatever reason i see Portland from a Boston bias perspective. Maybe I'm just afraid. And hungry for cheeseburgers. I guess what I need is some serious talking to. and I didn't mean to be offensive to you oregoners, I'm really just joking but not really at all. I'm sassy to a point that can maybe be offensive. I hope not, it's all in good fun. But seriously.
Should I leave home? Should I discover new parts of the country? Should I make a commitment that affects the next four years and my studies at a University entirely different from what I'm used to?
I STILL FEEL LIKE I'M TWELVE YEARS OLD. WHY AM I APPLYING TO COLLEGE AND WHY AM I LEAVING HOME AND WHY CAN'T I JUST HANG OUT AND HAVE FUN AND BE HAPPY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE? WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY TAXES AND BILLS? I WANT EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY AND HAVE FUN ALL THE TIME!!!!!!
sorry to come back like this. I guess I just like you guys and maybe you can help me.
I hope so.
Love,
Jenny
hey, check your Facebook messages.
expect another essay tomorrow! I'm going to sleep 'cos I can't keep my eyes open
Thank you Tom, you're the bessssssstttttt
Hey Face...The West is the Best! I grew up on the West Coast, the pacific NW. I can't wait to get back...that's where my heart is. Just my humble opinion. I think that a gal like yourself will truly appreciate what the upcoming years will have to offer...especially in Portland. The universe will guide you...remain open and aware.
Hi Face ! :)
TRAVEL! While you can.
The most glorious and wonderful decision I ever made was to leave Mississippi and live in Maine and Gloucester, Mass. I was young, I had time and I was "connected" to no one (i.e. free).
Home will always be home.
Should I leave home?
Absolutely.
Should I discover new parts of the country?
Absolutely.
Should I make a commitment that affects the next four years and my studies at a University entirely different from what I'm used to?
Absolutely.
Take opportunities as they come to you and if they don't come to you, create them.
Welcome back Jenny.
Definitely get away. You will appreciate "home" so much more, and you will grow so much more as a person. From my experience Portland is wonderful and warm city. It is definitely not as "culty or weird or environmentally friendly" as say San Francisco, Berkley, Arcata, etc. (not that that is a bad thing at all, but whatever floats your boat). There isn't really the "men with shirts off" scene that is rampant in Southern California. If your only impression of the west coast is San Diego, I can assure you that Portland is a far cry from the Southern California culture, as you apparently already know.
People aren't nearly as standoffish and superficial in the Northwest as they are in SoCal. The natural environment is top-notch, there are beaches, but they are a drive, the weather is pretty comparable to Boston. Same amount of rain, but there is less snow and humidity. Unfortunately though, there's a cheeseburger ban within the city proper.
All in all I think it is a pretty magical place.
What is this cheeseburger ban you speak of?
Hi Jenny! [smiley=vrolijk_26.gif]
definitely go away (far if you can) for school!!--give it at LEAST a full year and if you don't like it, transfer back ;-) college is the best time of your life---you're only slightly gonna miss your refrigerator and bed, don't worry. i've lived in the west coast, east coast, and midwest...it can only make you a stronger, well rounded person. good luck deciding :)
& don't forget, when you're done with college, that there's a world beyond your borders ;)
Go to Portland. Do a personal study in juxtapositioning (it's a new field where you go out and look at how you function in an entirely new geographical position. not really, I made that up). Four years will go by in a blink, I promise. And there's nothing wrong with transferring if you hate it. But you won't. Portland is beautiful. It's like Ithaca, NY on steroids. Or maybe a better drug.
Please try not to litter, though.
You know I love Portland - I recommend you give it a chance. HOWEVER, the cheeseburgers here seriously blow (despite what locals say)!! But, yes, you can eat them. I do. ;)
If it's any consolation, Portland is huge into tatertots. I don't know why, but they are. They're everywhere. And they're delicious. ;D
QuoteYou know I love Portland - I recommend you give it a chance. HOWEVER, the cheeseburgers here seriously blow (despite what locals say)!! But, yes, you can eat them. I do. ;)
If it's any consolation, Portland is huge into tatertots. I don't know why, but they are. They're everywhere. And they're delicious. ;D
so they don't have In & Out Burger in Portland?
Vespa-i've always wanted to check out portland--expect a visit in 2009 ;)
If you can get into a great place like Tufts or an Ivy League school like Brown I'd go there in a heartbeat. NYU would be a good experience too especially since you are in Liberal Arts - you can't beat New York City if you are studying that discipline. You have plenty of time to travel but I think choosing the best school is the most important thing right now.
QuoteQuoteYou know I love Portland - I recommend you give it a chance. HOWEVER, the cheeseburgers here seriously blow (despite what locals say)!! But, yes, you can eat them. I do. ;)
If it's any consolation, Portland is huge into tatertots. I don't know why, but they are. They're everywhere. And they're delicious. ;D
so they don't have In & Out Burger in Portland?
Vespa-i've always wanted to check out portland--expect a visit in 2009 ;)
NO - they don't have In-n-Out here! I was fortunate enough to go back to LA recently though and got a delicious animal style double double to satisfy me for a little while! (To be fair: one does get used to anything after a while, and now, I actually don't mind the cheeseburgers here so much. I mean, after all, it IS a cheeseburger!! But NOTHING compares to In-n-Out!!)
Girl, you know I will even vacuum my couch of dog fur when you visit!! We can go visit Face at Reed and show her the town! It'll be awesome!! :D
QuoteQuoteQuoteYou know I love Portland - I recommend you give it a chance. HOWEVER, the cheeseburgers here seriously blow (despite what locals say)!! But, yes, you can eat them. I do. ;)
If it's any consolation, Portland is huge into tatertots. I don't know why, but they are. They're everywhere. And they're delicious. ;D
so they don't have In & Out Burger in Portland?
Vespa-i've always wanted to check out portland--expect a visit in 2009 ;)
NO - they don't have In-n-Out here! I was fortunate enough to go back to LA recently though and got a delicious animal style double double to satisfy me for a little while! (To be fair: one does get used to anything after a while, and now, I actually don't mind the cheeseburgers here so much. I mean, after all, it IS a cheeseburger!! But NOTHING compares to In-n-Out!!)
Girl, you know I will even vacuum my couch of dog fur when you visit!! We can go visit Face at Reed and show her the town! It'll be awesome!! :D
i'm SO allergic to animals---it's not even funny. i'll probably be getting a room somewhere (LOL) but do you think i can take your vespa for a ride!? i'd also like to run on prefontaine's trail--that exists, right? good times.
Face! Welcome back! What very exciting times for you! Any new environment will be a little scary no matter where you pick. Choose something that fits best with what you want to do the rest of your life and everything else will fall into place.
A visit won't help. You'll only know where your peg fits into place once you've had enough time to settle in. The thing to remember is that almost everyone else is in the same boat with the same fears no matter where you go. College is unlike high school in that it is generally a place of accpetance versus alienation. You'll find home reagrdless of your spot on the globe.
My inclination is to ignore the reputation and stature of a school and make the most extreme choice. Go far away, pull a Cortez, and burn the boats.
A good friend of mine graduated from Reed. He moved up there from Northern California after High School, found his home, and has been living in Portland for the last 12 years.
Portland is one of my favorite cities. It's proudly and purposefully not like California (especially San Diego!). If you can deal with New England winters, then the overcast, drizzly NW should be cake!
It sounds like Reed has grabbed your interest in a way that the others haven't. It's ok to want to stay close to the familiarity of home, and that's an important decision to settle. But if Reed seems like the best fit, I say give it a try. :)
QuoteIf you can get into a great place like Tufts or an Ivy League school like Brown I'd go there in a heartbeat. NYU would be a good experience too especially since you are in Liberal Arts - you can't beat New York City if you are studying that discipline. You have plenty of time to travel but I think choosing the best school is the most important thing right now.
Welcome back Face/Jenny! So I am with Jaimoe on this....however, Reed is an amazing school. Totally a book-nerd school on psychedelics! But I would focus on the
school/program that suits you best.
Our jazz scene here is small, but it is SUPER-DUPER supportive. Mel Brown and Thara Memory give back to the kids in this town. And I could introduce you to our buddy Derek Sims (jazz trumpeter here in town). Unfortunately, we lost sponsorship on our kick-ass jazz festival. Hopefully it will be back in 2010. But Portland is a MUSIC town, so you should find some like-minded souls.
Portland is such a foodie town, cheeseburgers are totally welcome (there has been a resurgence of meat heavy restaurants recently and by golly, I bet that cheeseburger is local, organic, and sustainable ;)).
I love Portland. I love the progressive vibe, the availability of music, the genuine love of the community and environment, the diy culture, and the peeps. Yes it rains here. But bBill is correct. It is more of a drizzle. Like today, the forcast was rain leading into showers (I love all the adjectives for rain we have here). But it didn't rain all day, by no means. And the rain makes it green, which now my lawn is out of control.
Really, any college that suits you will be fun and exciting. But my advice is to focus on the program, not the town.
thank you, everyone! this was really helpful to read. I dont even knwo where I'll get in or if i'll get in anywhere at all. I know I'll be fine wherever, I have just never had a desire to explore the west coast at all... yet I find Reed so very interesting. Maybe in a unreachable way. In a way that I want to idealize more than anything else.
QuoteIf you can get into a great place like Tufts or an Ivy League school like Brown I'd go there in a heartbeat. NYU would be a good experience too especially since you are in Liberal Arts - you can't beat New York City if you are studying that discipline. You have plenty of time to travel but I think choosing the best school is the most important thing right now.
I agree. I want to go somewhere good. I want to go somewhere smart wehre Ic an study what I want to study. Tufts sounds great, but I want to do the five year program with the SMFA --- and since applications are separate (and both binding) i can't apply early becuase I don't know how happy i'd be at either individually.
Brown is a reach, and I"d love to go there, but I have a feeling I wouldn't get along with such a competitive community. I do understand the benefits of going to an Ivy League in the long run, and if I were to get in I Think my parents would make me, but honestly I've had it with the high school mindset of COMPETITION. Enough is enough already. Not that I Don't want to go somewehre good, but that I think I would sacrifice a good school for "non competition" (which is different than laziness). I'd like to go somewhere there is a natural desire to learn and be interested. That is what's most important to me. Maybe Brown has that, but to me it seems like it's be hard for me. Who knows, of course my opinions are bias.
Honestly, I don't know what I want. I just know I want to be happy and have fun with these next four years...
Oh me oh my.
I'll figure it out.
Now, to rewrite my essay.
I can't wait for second semester.
thanks again everyone.
I have two BA's - one in English (from a Canadian university that is Ivy League comparable) and one in broadcasting - and from my experiences, Arts-related studies are pretty non-competitive unless your grades, essays and various projects are on display, which is unlikely. Then again, when I submitted projects in my Television Broadcasting program, they were scrutinized by teachers and fellow students alike. It's no big deal really. It's actually kind of liberating, especially for artists.
I don't care about scrutinization - I kind of love that (if I'm confident). I guess the issue is the internal competition of being better than the person next to you. Working the hardest. Taking the hardest classes. Creating an organizational monster that will try to make you feel bad about yourself because you're not doing as much as they are or earning those grades or blahb lahblah.
maybe that ends in high school.
OH JEEZ I HOPE SO!!!!!!!!
Never been to Portland, but I completely agree that the West Coast has a stange vibe that I've never been fond of. Charleston's a beautiful place (kinda sad to leave it behind).
QuoteI don't care about scrutinization - I kind of love that (if I'm confident). I guess the issue is the internal competition of being better than the person next to you. Working the hardest. Taking the hardest classes. Creating an organizational monster that will try to make you feel bad about yourself because you're not doing as much as they are or earning those grades or blahb lahblah.
maybe that ends in high school.
OH JEEZ I HOPE SO!!!!!!!!
You can take the hardest classes, but you can burn-out from trying to beat yourself up. I know a few profs, many doctors etc... and none of them took only tough courses. Also, sometimes the toughest courses are the most interesting and enriching. Depending on the size of the university (in my country, university and college are completely different), you can easily blend in to the masses in an Arts program, so being better than the person next to you doesn't mean too much in the whole scheme of things.