Hey Everyone, how's it going?
Haven't been around for a while, I'm unfortunately going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment - I left Japan 2mths ago, my wife & I are seperated & I'm currently living in Spain with my folks.
Some of you may know that I have lived in Japan for nearly 10yrs. I had my own English school out there but my wife wanted to give up the house we were living in so I've lost my school too (I was teaching from home)
Not sure what the future holds, feeling a little bit low at the moment so I thought I'd drop by & catch up with all of my old friends here.
I finally signed up with Face Book, haven't made a page or anything yet though...
So how are all of you? Hope you're all doing good.
Too many threads/posts to go through, any big news?
All the best, Andrew.
Best of luck to you and I hope you get through this tough time. Good to hear from you regardless.
Facebook is a blessing and a curse, so use it wisely. After saying that, look me up: David Ball on the Toronto region. Justin True from the board is a friend of mine on Facebook, if that helps you find me?
I'll be in Europe for a month starting this Monday: France, Italy, Germany and a couple of days in Denmark. Maybe one day we'll cross paths.
Well, 1st off, best to you and your family in sorting out everything.
2nd, it's great to hear from you again and I am bummed out knowing you aren't in Japan anymore because I'll be moving out there in a couple of years.
Great to hear from ya :)
Hey, DB! I'm so sorry to hear that things have been rough for you as of late. I'm sending my best wishes your way.
If you'd like to find me on facebook, I'm at: http://www.facebook.com/megalishus
Good to see you back around the boards.
:)
Hey DB, great to hear from you. I was starting to worry about you. Sorry to hear things didn't work out with your wife. I hope it leads to eventual happiness for both of you. Did you make your trip to the States awhile back? Again, great to hear from you. I missed your presence!
Monsters of Folk is out soon. Jim is calling himself Yim now and he released the George Harrison tribute if you haven't noticed already.
All of the assholes have left the forum (Yea!) and we've learned to get along with the Captain. ;)
I got to see TEO, The Dark, Pennylane and Reenie for the second time at the Forecastle Fest and met Dylan, Kory, Love Dog and Goose for the first time as well. It was awesome.
Where at in Spain are you? You know, in case I'm in the neighborhood?
Hey Dragonboy,
So sorry to hear about you and your wife. Hang in there! When one door closes, another one opens (don't you love it when people spout cliches at a time like this!!) but seriously, good luck with everything.
Were you in the states? MJK mentioned you might be visiting? I assume you didn't w/all that was going on.
Definitely join facebook if you can! Most of us are on there.
Trying to think what's been huge in the brit pop scene, but i'm out of it. MJK and I enjoyed Jarvis's new album, Noel's supposedly working on his solo album....and the verve broke up again (yet again). lol
take care, welcome back.
Penny
Hey Andrew! Things WILL get better for you. Believe that, 'cause it's true.
The George Harrison Tribute is beautiful. If you listen to it, it'll make you happy. :)
Hey bud, glad you're back in Spain safely. I hope the trip to Vegas was good. Tommy didn't cancel on you did he? I know he did cancel some shows for illness not too long ago.
I was wondering if that was you on Facebook as I keep getting your name suggested. As Jaimoe said, it is a blessing and a curse. You know my issues but it is a great way to stay in touch with peeps. http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=1371835020&ref=profile
Sad I missed a chance to meet up when you were here. Next time. My house is always open and the fridge will be heavily stocked with Samuel Smith and Old Speckled Hen. My email and phone are also open brother if you need to talk.
Mike
Oh and we had another Forum Love Connection while you were out.
Best wishes, Andrew!
Hang in there Big Feller! There are a bunch of Peeps around here that Love You... :)
Glad you're back DB! :)
Nice hearing from ya, DB! Best of luck with the marriage issues.
The forum's lightened up a lot recently from those dark days around the end of last year and beginning of this one. I'm hoping we see some more old friends around here soon.
Monsters of Folk is shaping up to be an amazing album, out in less than a month. The George Harrison tribute is quite refreshing if you were jonesing for some classic reverbed-out Yim.
May I suggest this....
http://www.mymorningjacket.com/cgi-bin/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1245887262
hang in there.
Glad you're back Andrew. Sorry you hit such a rough patch. :(
Hola DB!
Nice to see you. What else... Tracy's gone, but alive and kickin', I know that much. Hang in there brudda! [smiley=vrolijk_26.gif] [smiley=vrolijk_26.gif]
You might get a kick out of this post of mine from the current complaints thread:
QuoteRemember.when.DB's.spacebar.broke.and.I.gave.him.shit.about.it?
well...yeah.
Mine.barely.works.and.it.is.very.frustrating.
And.no.i.won't.learn.
giving.people.shit.is.too.much.fun
;)
Hey welcome back DB!
<- look i is senior sr. now i is specials!
P.S.- hope things get better for you, hang in there ;)
DB, sooo glad to have you back. Wish it'd be under better circumstances. I know you're a positive person, so I know you'll work things out. Time to bump the Reggae Thread! And now we can drink even earlier or later, depends on how you look at. Glad you're back brother! 8-)
Hello DB! This is True, I also changed my name like Yim. You (or anyone else here who hasn't yet) can add me on facebook. You can be part of my mafia too if you want. Just look for me through Jaimoe or Meg or whoever.
Sorry to hear things didn't work out with the wife.
Hey DB!!!!
So good to see you around the board again.
And as Tom Petty says, "It'll all work out."
Hi DB! We have missed you around here. I am so sorry to hear of your difficult time recently. I think everyone has mentioned the noteworthy news of the forum. I did, however, post a photo for you in this thread (on page 2)....
http://www.mymorningjacket.com/cgi-bin/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1239165598/0
Hey DB, good to hear from you again. Hang in there brother, brighter days ahead.
DB!!!! Good to see ya around! Sorry about the situation, but like everyone else said, It WILL get better.
Jaimoe, Ruckus, Meg, BH, PennyLane, Bbill, MJ, Angry, TEO, aMD, Dark, Walter, Corey, Yespachick, Alwx, Walts, Justin, WB, Wiz, Sweatboard, Ghosts, everyone...thank you so much for all of your kind words & support! It means so much!!
Pleased to hear you're all doing OK.
Congratulations to TK & Colleen!!!
& Lovedog & PennyLane hooked up? Lovedog...you da man! Show me a guy here who doesn't have a crush on Penny & I'll show you a liar ;)
I got the Tribute & MOF info via email, don't have Tribute yet (have only bought one new CD since I left Japan (Maxwell's Black Summer's Night)) but have been playing the tracks on myspace. Like the MOF tracks too, especially The Sandman.
Thanks again guys, you really are the best!
& get your keyboard fixed aMD - I can't stand that shit! ;)
QuoteJaimoe, Ruckus, Meg, BH, PennyLane, Bbill, MJ, Angry, TEO, aMD, Dark, Walter, Corey, Yespachick, Alwx, Walts, Justin, WB, Wiz, Sweatboard, Ghosts, everyone...thank you so much for all of your kind words & support! It means so much!!
Pleased to hear you're all doing OK.
Congratulations to TK & Colleen!!!
& Lovedog & PennyLane hooked up? Lovedog...you da man! Show me a guy here who doesn't have a crush on Penny & I'll show you a liar ;)
I got the Tribute & MOF info via email, don't have Tribute yet (have only bought one new CD since I left Japan (Maxwell's Black Summer's Night)) but have been playing the tracks on myspace. Like the MOF tracks too, especially The Sandman.
Thanks again guys, you really are the best!
& get your keyboard fixed aMD - I can't stand that shit! ;)
DB,
You absolutely must get Tribute To...
Its beautifully fantastic. Plus I think that "all things must pass" can be a positive message for you (and for me as well) in these days that seem a bit heavier than those in the past. Be well- all things must pass!
Cheers aMC, yeah All Things Must Pass could well be very fitting right now...
Hey DB!
Good to see you back, although it wouldve been better if under different circumstances. I hope everything works out for you, however that may be. I think I remember you saying not too long ago you missed your family and kind of felt like getting out of Japan, so maybe its all for the best if thats how it ends up.
Ive been wanting to get the DITC thread back on track, maybe nows a good time
Cheers! [smiley=beer.gif]
Quote
...Show me a guy here who doesn't have a crush on Penny & I'll show you a liar ;)
That's what I keep telling her. ;D
Welcome back, DB. Sometimes when life throws you lemons, you have to say, "Wait a fuckin' minute...what the hell am I supposd to do with all these lemons?" And then start throwing them back. And sometimes when your soul is sucked out of you, that's when you find the strength you never knew you had...and oasis in the desert...a pocket of air under water...a compass when you're lost.
You're respected and missed 'round these parts. PEACE! :)
Thanks LoveDog :)
QuoteI think I remember you saying not too long ago you missed your family and kind of felt like getting out of Japan, so maybe its all for the best if thats how it ends up.
Cheers Capt, good to be back! I was missing my family but now I miss my wife more than I've ever missed anyone or anything in my whole life.
Like Stephen Stills said, Love The One You're With! The grass
isn't always greener on the other side, count your blessings people & make the most of what you have...
Hi DB-
We dont really know each other. I think you were taking some time away as I was coming in. I do want to tell you that I missed your contribution to the board and tell you that I hope you are able to keep holding on. Things work out and they get better- just keep holding on. I'm sorry you have been having a hard time. It sure seems to me like you have a lot of friends here and a good support system. :)
May this board act as a bit of a distraction while you work things out.
Ky
:)
Hey DB. Good to see you again and like everyone else I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. In an effort to lighten things up a bit, I'll tell you like an old baseball coach used to say - hang in there like a booger, kid. :)
db,
Godspeed! Not to sound like a jacket-geek (but i guess that's what we're all here for) I just wanted to say that your words remind me of old MMJ reverb-heavy space rock where the last note of At Dawn rings out over and over intentionally, reminding you of the importance of the message. When I read about your situation and the words you wrote it made me stop and stand for just that second longer today when parting ways with everyday people I see. Take nothing for granted.
They say that if you can love something then it means you have learned to understand it for what it is. If something is a "thing" then it must be a finite object. Meaning it has a beginning and an end, a rise and fall. Am I making sense here?
Thank you very much Soulshine, Kydiddle, Jon & Darkglow.
I love what you wrote Darkglow.
Relationships are hard work, I guess everyone knows that already but they really are, aren't they? I was missing my family, thought maybe I had had enough of Japan, my wife & I weren't getting along...we had a big fight, she went to her parent's & we both decided it was time to take a break. The big problem now is her parents have convinced her that she is better off without me & are pushing hard for divorce (they knew that we had been having problems, she was going over to their house more often at the weekend etc)
I realise now that she is the best thing that ever happened to me, I miss everything about her - even the things that drove me crazy. More importantly I realise my mistakes now & I have accepted my share of the blame instead of blaming her for everything & am truly sorry for the way I've treated her of late. She wants to believe that I can change but is too scared to take the risk right now; me moving back there, finding a new place together, me finding a new job, sending all my things back to Japan etc...it's a big deal & she is scared that the same fights will happen again & we'll be right back where we were again in a couple of months.
Even if she does decide to give it one more shot she will still have her parents to deal with. In the meantime I'm stuck in limbo without a house or a job. I'm grateful to my parents for letting me stay here but I don't have any friends here & it's difficult at times. So what do I do, keeping apologising & try to convince her that we can change & have a good chance 2nd time around (I truly believe this because A) we've both admitted our mistakes & apologised for them, something both of us had a hard time with in the past & B) I realise that the grass isn't greener & love her more than ever before) or do I give up & try to make a new start? I can't stay here living off my parents forever, it's not fair on them + I think I'll go crazy if I don't do something with my life soon (it's been a couple of months now)
I've heard a lot of people say that your 2nd marriage is better because you've learnt from your mistakes but I don't want to get divorced, I don't want to be just another statistic. I want to have the closest thing I can to a perfect marriage 2nd time around with my wife, not with another woman.
Maybe I've said too much? :-[
Apologies for ranting like this but there are so many good people here & I respect your thoughts & opinions...
thanks for sharing all that DBoy. wish i had some better advice and it must be so tough on you right now. a great songwriter (Richard Ashy) once saidi 'being in limbo is bad for the soul' so my thoughts are with you. sounds like you are doing what you can to fight for her and as long as there is still trust and respect left between you two, seems like you'd have a fighting chance :-) i guess at the same time, you need to start planning life w/out her and figuring out your next move.
ky is right though, i first came on this board for a distraction from a breakup.
Thanks for the advice Penny.
Yeah it's good to be back here on the forum amongst friends, that's fo sho :)
QuoteThank you very much Soulshine, Kydiddle, Jon & Darkglow.
I love what you wrote Darkglow.
Relationships are hard work, I guess everyone knows that already but they really are, aren't they? I was missing my family, thought maybe I had had enough of Japan, my wife & I weren't getting along...we had a big fight, she went to her parent's & we both decided it was time to take a break. The big problem now is her parents have convinced her that she is better off without me & are pushing hard for divorce (they knew that we had been having problems, she was going over to their house more often at the weekend etc)
I realise now that she is the best thing that ever happened to me, I miss everything about her - even the things that drove me crazy. More importantly I realise my mistakes now & I have accepted my share of the blame instead of blaming her for everything & am truly sorry for the way I've treated her of late. She wants to believe that I can change but is too scared to take the risk right now; me moving back there, finding a new place together, me finding a new job, sending all my things back to Japan etc...it's a big deal & she is scared that the same fights will happen again & we'll be right back where we were again in a couple of months.
Even if she does decide to give it one more shot she will still have her parents to deal with. In the meantime I'm stuck in limbo without a house or a job. I'm grateful to my parents for letting me stay here but I don't have any friends here & it's difficult at times. So what do I do, keeping apologising & try to convince her that we can change & have a good chance 2nd time around (I truly believe this because A) we've both admitted our mistakes & apologised for them, something both of us had a hard time with in the past & B) I realise that the grass isn't greener & love her more than ever before) or do I give up & try to make a new start? I can't stay here living off my parents forever, it's not fair on them + I think I'll go crazy if I don't do something with my life soon (it's been a couple of months now)
I've heard a lot of people say that your 2nd marriage is better because you've learnt from your mistakes but I don't want to get divorced, I don't want to be just another statistic. I want to have the closest thing I can to a perfect marriage 2nd time around with my wife, not with another woman.
Maybe I've said too much? :-[
Apologies for ranting like this but there are so many good people here & I respect your thoughts & opinions...
DB,
Don't take no for an answer. Not in a crazy stalker-ish way, but fight for her and don't stop until you get her back. It seems to me that you both have identified and realized what went wrong and what needs to happen in order to make it right. I know it would be a huge pain and inconvenience for the 2 of you to give it another go, but if you have the ways and means you should def go back and do it. I can close doors and walk away from things fairly easily, but at the same time I do believe some people are able to change therefore giving 2nd chances is important. Have you said all of the amazing things you wrote here to her? If not, do it. Also, speaking from a woman's point of view you need to SHOW her these things. Actions speak louder than words and it seems like a lot of people are really good at talk talk talk, but that doesn't mean shit. It's what you DO that matters. It seems to me in order for you to do that you have got to get closer to her again. As for her parents...that's tough. I'm sure they just want their daughter to be happy. I think if you are able to make it work and you guys are able to give the 2nd go around a chance like you speak of they will eventually come around. They probably just want to protect her so if you are able to roll back in there and you can rock her socks off-I'm sure it will only be a matter of time before they're on your side again.
Good luck, friend. Please keep us posted. :)
One thing is for sure, you gotta try/keep trying to get back together. I agree with what Soulshine said, and based on what you said, if you two can make it work, you're probably going to need to be the one to take more of the risk as far as moving out there and all. She'll probably feel more comfortable with trying to mend the relationship that way, and youll also be showing her its what youve realized that you truly want and that youre in it for the long haul.
Keep tryin.
"I've heard a lot of people say that your 2nd marriage is better because you've learnt from your mistakes"
Well...not everyone learns from their mistakes! It sounds like the two of you have, though, and to that extent you are that far ahead of the game.
Wish I had something more profound than keep looking forward, but...keep looking forward, be it to a continued life with your wife or a new journey. The best to you whatever path you take, and please feel free to add me on FB if you wish (leperilloux@aol.com).
I have told her the things I wrote above again & again. I agree that I need to show her but she's 1000s of miles away in Japan. If we were together & I could show her over a period of time that things are better then I believe we could be happy but she says shes not ready to try again & doesn't know if she ever will be...I have thought about flying back to Japan to talk to her face to face but she's told me not to do that, she has said I should wait until she's ready. All well & good in theory but there's no guarantee she ever will be ready (a few weeks ago she was saying it was over for good & wanted a divorce)
I don't want to give up but I'm really low right now. My family don't like seeing me this upset, they're worried about me & think (unless she can give some kind of deadline or something) that I should give up & move on.
I'm not angry with her but I'm not sure if she's being realistic...how long does she expect me to wait without an income? It's just so tough.
I don't want to live without her, right now I can't live withour her but it has been a couple of months & she seems to be doing OK...maybe she can live without me? Maybe she doesn't love me the way I love her?
:'(
QuoteI have told her the things I wrote above again & again. I agree that I need to show her but she's 1000s of miles away in Japan. If we were together & I could show her over a period of time that things are better then I believe we could be happy but she says shes not ready to try again & doesn't know if she ever will be...I have thought about flying back to Japan to talk to her face to face but she's told me not to do that, she has said I should wait until she's ready. All well & good in theory but there's no guarantee she ever will be ready (a few weeks ago she was saying it was over for good & wanted a divorce)
I don't want to give up but I'm really low right now. My family don't like seeing me this upset, they're worried about me & think (unless she can give some kind of deadline or something) that I should give up & move on.
I'm not angry with her but I'm not sure if she's being realistic...how long does she expect me to wait without an income? It's just so tough.
I don't want to live without her, right now I can't live withour her but it has been a couple of months & she seems to be doing OK...maybe she can live without me? Maybe she doesn't love me the way I love her?
:'(
YOU can live w/out her, too!! Don't forget that. Remember, if she doesn't believe in it enough, then it's not meant to be. You will find strength where you never thought you had it. It's not that she doesn't love you or miss you, but remember she's at home, in her country, maybe still at the same job, with her same friends, with her parents, probably a little more stable than you are.
my advice would be tell her how you feel, lay it out, then stop trying to convince her she knows what you want and how you feel. i would just look inward, work on yourself and how you're going to get by this week to the next. find little things that make you happy and create a comfort zone in your immediate surroundings. try to reconnect w/some old friends, etc. Stay really busy, listen to tons of sad music, get it all out, then one day you'll just wanna regroup and something will be funny again.
it's not that i'm not a romantic, but you gotta take care of yourself. :-)
What a tough situation for you. It sounds as though her mind is made up for now and that you may want to consider starting to piece things back together for yourself. That's not to say she won't reconsider at some point in the future, but you need to take care of you right now, one day at a time.
Keep the communication going, but continue to be respectful of her wishes (seems that's what you're doing now), take care of yourself and hope for the best where your relationship is concerned. Sounds as though your head is on straight despite the circumstances.
I hope that you and happiness find each other again. Hugs.
Listen to what the ladies have to say as they are wise. You may have to take a trip and see but only do when she feels comfortable with it. Last thing you want to do is push to hard.
Thanks again everyone, all of your advice helps a lot & is appreciated :)
You're welcome. I've been there (and ultimately divorced). You're going to get through this just fine, no matter the outcome!
QuoteI have told her the things I wrote above again & again. I agree that I need to show her but she's 1000s of miles away in Japan. If we were together & I could show her over a period of time that things are better then I believe we could be happy but she says shes not ready to try again & doesn't know if she ever will be...I have thought about flying back to Japan to talk to her face to face but she's told me not to do that, she has said I should wait until she's ready. All well & good in theory but there's no guarantee she ever will be ready (a few weeks ago she was saying it was over for good & wanted a divorce)
I don't want to give up but I'm really low right now. My family don't like seeing me this upset, they're worried about me & think (unless she can give some kind of deadline or something) that I should give up & move on.
I'm not angry with her but I'm not sure if she's being realistic...how long does she expect me to wait without an income? It's just so tough.
I don't want to live without her, right now I can't live withour her but it has been a couple of months & she seems to be doing OK...maybe she can live without me? Maybe she doesn't love me the way I love her?
:'(
If she's telling you not to come back then don't. I say give her the space she's requesting. I don't think it's unfair for you to ask her to be very clear with you about whether or not she'll ever be "ready" again. Maybe she's just saying that to let you down easy or she's too afraid to just say "it's over." It's probably a scary question to ask due to the frightening answer you may receive, but I think it's totally fair. This answer may also help you to find closure and begin healing and moving on.
For now, I say listen to the other ladies.....find little enjoyable things to do. Go out and make some friends, hang out with your family. Remember what it is that YOU like and YOU enjoy....Let it be about DB for awhile. I know it seems like you just want to die and life will never get better, but it will. There's a part in the movie "Swingers" when Ron Livingston is trying to help Jon Favreau get over his break-up and he's talking about all the pain and how much it hurts and he says "every day the pain hurts a little less and then one day you wake up and its gone and you almost miss that pain." You get used to living with something for so long-even when it's a negative thing, you miss it when it's gone.
I agree with Penny. You can live without her and if this is how it's going to be then it wasn't meant to be. Trust that you're exactly where you need to be at this point in life. I know hearing that sucks especially when you're in a tough spot, but going through tough times is when we tend to grow the most as human beings.
db, I don't have any sage advice on this front, but I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide.
Be well.
Quote
[highlight]YOU can live w/out her, too!! Don't forget that. Remember, if she doesn't believe in it enough, then it's not meant to be. You will find strength where you never thought you had it. It's not that she doesn't love you or miss you, but remember she's at home, in her country, maybe still at the same job, with her same friends, with her parents[/highlight], probably a little more stable than you are.
my advice would be tell her how you feel, [highlight]lay it out, then stop trying to convince her she knows what you want and how you feel. i would just look inward, work on yourself and how you're going to get by this week to the next. find little things that make you happy and create a comfort zone in your immediate surroundings.[/highlight] try to reconnect w/some old friends, etc. [highlight]Stay really busy, listen to tons of sad music, get it all out, then one day you'll just wanna regroup[/highlight] and something will be funny again.
it's not that i'm not a romantic, [highlight]but you gotta take care of yourself. :-) [/highlight]
I highlighted everything in her post that is key and spot-on to help you through this, bro.
The only thing I would add (as the leav-ee) is that regardless of how you regret or think you feel now, you're responding to your pride a little bit. It's hard to be the one on the receiving end of that decision. But you have to remember the things about her that
you didn't like...the things about her that didn't meet
your comprimise.
Trust is
the most important (intangible) thing between two people in any relationship, whether it be Eros, Philia or Agape. If there was ever a break in trust (proven or not) it's ill-repaired...if at all.
I don't want to be a downer, my friend...but instead, I want to be your support. I want to help you love yourself. If you get her back, then great. There is a big part of your heart that is designated for her, and nobody will ever take that from you. But at the same time, you have to decide if she deserves the rest of it. And I'd bet (over time) you'll realize that the only person that deserves that much of your heart, is someone who understands how important it really is...what your heart means to you. And that person will protect it as if it were theirs.
Db, you are getting some sound advice here. Not too much I can add but to let you know that I think it is good, honest, and fair that you put your feelings out there (more people need that emotional freedom). But that is all you can do (ie. put it out there for your wife to hear). Invest in yourself. In your own happiness. You are the only person in this whole wide world that can ultimately make you happy. So while it is bleak now (and btw, that is normal and fine) remember that personal contentment is the goal. Happiness is something to share, but ultimately we ourselves are the only ones who can make our perspective positive.
Sending good vibes all the way to Spain.
Sorry to hear about your troubles db but it looks as though you are getting some pretty good advice here. Glad to see you are back on the board though - I was recently in South Korea and as we looked towards Japan from Busan (through the haze and pollution mind you) I remember thinking that that's where that nice guy from the MMJ board lives and hoped he would be back soon. I'm sure the board will be a welcome distraction.
Look after yourself.
I am genuinely touched by the amount of time & effort people have taken to make comments & give advice. I have read all your posts, some more than a few times and want to thank you all again.
I felt good after reading some of your comments yesterday so decided to try & kick the 'woe is me!' attitude (at least for a few hours! haha) & went for a run whilst listening to Okonokos.
I appreciated the scenery & decided I do have a lot to be thankful for...I may not have a house of my own but at least I do have somewhere to stay & let's face it there are far worse places I could be living than Spain. Both of my sisters have said I can stay with them in the UK if I want to until I get 'back on my feet'
I may not have any friends to go out with but I do have people I can call if I need to talk & it is nice to know that there are so many people here who care.
I may not have a job but I do have some savings to see me through...
You know how it is, trying to see the glass as half full rather than half empty ;)
Thanks again everyone, I've said it before & I'll say it again - there are some really good people here!
Glad you're doing your best to feel better... being mentally strong is one of the most underrated traits a person can have. Have faith, my friend!
I've always wanted to visit Spain. It seems like a place with a really unique vibe. Appreciate it for me while you're there por favor :).
Hey DB-
How are the days treating you? I know it takes a while, but I hope things are starting to look up. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwaQouvXmGE
QuoteHey DB-
How are the days treating you? I know it takes a while, but I hope things are starting to look up. :)
Thanks for asking Soulshine - it's been a strange week. I decided I had to start making plans to move on & told my wife this who then said she was ready to give us one more chance?!! Her parents aren't too happy about this & are doing everything they can to try & stop us seeing each other again. We're taking things slow, my parents are happy to have me here for as long as it takes....still not sure what will happen & when but I feel a lot better than I did a few weeks ago.
QuoteQuoteHey DB-
How are the days treating you? I know it takes a while, but I hope things are starting to look up. :)
Thanks for asking Soulshine - it's been a strange week. [highlight]I decided I had to start making plans to move on & told my wife this who then said she was ready to give us one more chance?!! [/highlight]Her parents aren't too happy about this & are doing everything they can to try & stop us seeing each other again. We're taking things slow, my parents are happy to have me here for as long as it takes....still not sure what will happen & when but I feel a lot better than I did a few weeks ago.
It always seems to happen like that, doesn't it!? I wish you the very best either way. I'm happy to hear that you are doing better. :)
yes, keep us posted. i hope things work out! ;)
That's great news for a Monday morning!
Hope it works out DB.
andrew, i just read through your whole thread. what a crazy, tough time for you. it's one thing to make big changes in your life, and quite another to have your life changed.
damn. i really hope things work out well for you!
xo, ms. y
Sorry to read about your tough time, DB. If you make it to the UK, however briefly, make sure you schedule some time for beers in this neck of the woods. There's a bed, food, and unlimited pints available. I mean, you can't only visit Norwich. ;)
Things will work themselves out with time. Just keep a true heart and an even balance in your actions.
Peace
M
Thanks very much Ms. Yvon & Mark :)
I'm still in Spain at the moment. There is a chance I may see my wife sometime in October. We're talking a lot & things are slowly getting better but I fear there may be 'too much water under the bridge'
I'm a lot happier/stronger than I was a month or so ago so that's good, purely from a selfish point of view.
There is nothing selfish about your viewpoint. You need to think of yourself at this time...
Sometimes you have to look out for #1, but try not stepping into #2.
QuoteSometimes you have to look out for #1, but try not stepping into #2.
i love that movie.
professor turgeson
QuoteQuoteSometimes you have to look out for #1, but try not stepping into #2.
i love that movie. professor turgeson
If we cannot learn about life from the late, great Rodney and Sam, there is no hope.
QuoteQuoteQuoteSometimes you have to look out for #1, but try not stepping into #2.
i love that movie. professor turgeson
If we cannot learn about life from the late, great Rodney and Sam, there is no hope.
well...didn't know you wanted to get involved in the discussion, mr helper!? okay,
i'll stop.
What bands do they like in Japan?
QuoteWhat bands do they like in Japan?
Mostly rubbish ones! Just kidding ;)
The usual bands are popular - U2, Coldplay, Oasis, Radiohead, Chili Peppers etc.
Arctic Monkeys are big, Sigur Ros, Mogwai, Yo La Tengo come over a lot, KOL etc.
Japanese like their punk - Rancid, Green Day & Offspring come over a lot of always seem to sell out.
Metal is popular...Metalica, Iron Maiden etc
They're big on RnB & Soul and Japan has some very serious Hip-Hop-heads.
Unfortunately J-Pop is
huge.
It's not all bad though...
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDBdMnkcx0E[/media]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDBdMnkcx0E
Wishing you well DB...I was in a similar situation earlier this year and it HURT. It hurt for probably 4-5 months. And I had only been dating this girl for a year, I wasn't married to her, though I had hopes and dreams of marrying her. All I can say is that no matter what, things do get better. I still think of this girl every single day, and as someone said on here, she does have a part of my heart still, but I need to keep the rest for myself and for someone else who really wants it and knows what they are getting. Anyway, I'm way excited that you're getting a second chance. Hopefully you will be able to put things in perspective and focus on the love you two have rather than all the weird feelings and vibes and anger and confusion that I'm sure have been going on. I was not able to do that when it really counted, and I think, ultimately, led to us breaking up rather than staying together...I just couldn't let the anger go soon enough. When I did, she had already found someone else, although it sounds like she was looking anyway. My advice, when you see your wife again, Keep it positive. Best of luck to you good sir.
What are the punk shows like in Japan? I've heard Japanese audiences are reverent. Is that true for punk shows? Or are they moshing and crowd-surfing like everyone else?
QuoteWhat are the punk shows like in Japan? I've heard Japanese audiences are reverent. Is that true for punk shows? Or are they moshing and crowd-surfing like everyone else?
The only punk show I've been to in Japan was a local band in a tiny little hole-in-the-wall venue. The crowd went
mental!
Most Japanese are indeed reserved but the fanatics are indeed fanatical; whether it be the manga junkies or vinyl junkies, the hip-hop heads, the rockabillies who spend every sunday dancing in the park to old records or the emo/goths who dress in outfits that have to be seen to be believed.
QuoteWishing you well DB...I was in a similar situation earlier this year and it HURT. It hurt for probably 4-5 months. And I had only been dating this girl for a year, I wasn't married to her, though I had hopes and dreams of marrying her. All I can say is that no matter what, things do get better. I still think of this girl every single day, and as someone said on here, she does have a part of my heart still, but I need to keep the rest for myself and for someone else who really wants it and knows what they are getting. Anyway, I'm way excited that you're getting a second chance. Hopefully you will be able to put things in perspective and focus on the love you two have rather than all the weird feelings and vibes and anger and confusion that I'm sure have been going on. I was not able to do that when it really counted, and I think, ultimately, led to us breaking up rather than staying together...I just couldn't let the anger go soon enough. When I did, she had already found someone else, although it sounds like she was looking anyway. My advice, when you see your wife again, Keep it positive. Best of luck to you good sir.
Thank you Hawkeye.
I really appreciate your comments & love what you wrote, particularly the line I highlighted. Sounds like you're one of the good guys out there...all the best to you in the future & I hope you find that special someone :)
QuoteQuoteWhat are the punk shows like in Japan? I've heard Japanese audiences are reverent. Is that true for punk shows? Or are they moshing and crowd-surfing like everyone else?
The only punk show I've been to in Japan was a local band in a tiny little hole-in-the-wall venue. The crowd went mental!
Most Japanese are indeed reserved but the fanatics are indeed fanatical; whether it be the manga junkies or vinyl junkies, the hip-hop heads, the rockabillies who spend every sunday dancing in the park to old records or the emo/goths who dress in outfits that have to be seen to be believed.
You ought to see the wrestling crowds. They looked so calm and reserved, even when crazy ass people like Terry Funky are lighting someone on fire or wrapped up in barbed wire. Every once in a while they explode and seemingly for the littliest of things.
This thread (and especially your honesty DB) resonates with me. It compelled me to come back here after many months away. Good luck.
Thanks Soup, good to see you :)
My wife is coming to Spain for a week on the 17th of October. We've been talking a lot & regardless of what may or may not happen I feel much better about everything.
I haven't seen her in over 3months, needless to say I'm extremely excited & also a little nervous.
Best of luck DB. I've been away for 5 weeks in Europe so I'm out of the loop.
Thanks Jaimoe! Saw you online & I was just about to ask how was your trip?
Be sure to post some pics when you have time :)
QuoteThanks Jaimoe! Saw you online & I was just about to ask how was your trip?
Be sure to post some pics when you have time :)
I'll post pics for sure. I had a good time, but was the most impressed with Bavaria and Oktoberfest in Munich, Berlin, the French Alps and Strasbourg - Rome was too bloody hot and Venice and Amsterdam are oppressively overrun by tourists (the latter city felt like an overly commercialized theme park and 24-hour frat-boy bender).
I drank beer every day and tried at least 30 different brands during my five weeks and the best beer I've ever had came from Munich's Augustiner brewery, and I'm a staunch Canadian micro beer and Kronenbourg 1664 supporter.
QuoteThanks Soup, good to see you :)
My wife is coming to Spain for a week on the 17th of October. We've been talking a lot & regardless of what may or may not happen I feel much better about everything.
I haven't seen her in over 3months, needless to say I'm extremely excited & also a little nervous.
Dboy, that's great! Good luck w/the visit. i'm sure she's nervous, too.
QuoteQuoteWhat bands do they like in Japan?
Mostly rubbish ones! Just kidding ;)
The usual bands are popular - U2, Coldplay, Oasis, Radiohead, Chili Peppers etc.
Arctic Monkeys are big, Sigur Ros, Mogwai, Yo La Tengo come over a lot, KOL etc.
Japanese like their punk - Rancid, Green Day & Offspring come over a lot of always seem to sell out.
Metal is popular...Metalica, Iron Maiden etc
They're big on RnB & Soul and Japan has some very serious Hip-Hop-heads.
Unfortunately J-Pop is huge.
It's not all bad though...
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDBdMnkcx0E[/media]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDBdMnkcx0E
[/quote]
Thanks for that.. I was wondering if they liked one of my pet bands Blonde Redhead.
QuoteUnfortunately J-Pop is huge.
?
J-pop would be the home grown stuff I suppose. You must mean that they butcher some original songs by non-Japanese artists like the Beatles?
D- Glad she's coming for a visit. Sent you an email...
Hey Soup! Long time no see bud.
Best wishes to you DB. No matter what happens-everything is just as it should be. Thinking good thoughts for you both.