My Morning Jacket

1.) You Must Lose Voice Within First 20minutes of Show to Be Considered A True Fan.
2.) You Must Leave Soaked In The Sweat Of Heaven
3.) You Must Have Made Eye Contact With Tom at least twice.
4.) You Must Shout "Snowy Bramble" minimum once per show.
5.) You Must Get Up In The Jackets Face So They Can Truly Rip Said Face Off.
6.) You Must Move With the Music In Order For the Music to Move You.
7.) At Some Point When It's Fairly Quiet, and if you have any voice left, shout as loud as you can MORE REVERB!
8.) You must forget you can't sing like YY (no mortal can) and try anyway at the top of your lungs
9.) Do clock arms in sync with Patrick. ;D
10.) Close your eyes for 30 secs during the song of your choice to hear it in a whole new way.
11.) Get In The Zone.
12.) You have to sing back the "oh i know" in dancefloors (which will obviously be played with the horn section present this tour).
13.) When a slow song comes on, take advantage of it because not only will it sound beautiful, it will let you catch your breath.
14.) At least one point in the night, turn to someone next to you and give them the "oh my fucking god" look, but don't say anything, and have them reciprocate.
15.) When you hear that new song for the first time....listen and groove accordingly for about 30-45 seconds...and then proceed to rock the fuck out and take it all in because you can only hear it for the first time once
16.) Give arms in the air righteous praise to the Rock Gods for that soul awakening "THUMP" you can feel in you spleen.Bring it Mr.Blankenship!
17.) Feel deep emotion and various chills rise up inside you and instead of trying to control them, turn the knob up to boil.
18.) Glow sticks are not weapons to be used against the band; they are useless against the flying v - Never bring a glow stick to an axe fight
19.) If you ever find yourself in a one-man mosh pit, don't
20.)  And then both, in unison, break out 2 joints to share with all the people around you.  Preferably pre- Steam Engine, Run Thru or another anticipated extended jam.  Mandatory pre-Cobra.
21.) If "War Begun" or "Steam Engine" are played, weep openly.
22.) Laugh out loud at least once, when you are overwhelmed with how ridiculously good they are.  Shaking your head from side to side in disbelief while chuckling.  kind of a "are you kidding me" chuckle.
23.) Check out the start of Wordless Chorus. That's what I'm talkin aboot kids.       
http://www.archive.org/details/mmj2006-11-20.The_Pageant_St_Louis_MO (http://www.archive.org/details/mmj2006-11-20.The_Pageant_St_Louis_MO)
24.) If you're rocking hard as fuck and the next song is chill, use it as an opportunity to catch your breath - be respectful and quiet if possible during songs like Bermuda Highway, Look At You, etc.
25.) If you're close to the stage and Jim is in the zone, close to the edge, be ready to catch him.  Even in the dark.
26.) Just Shut the Fuck Up during Dondante! 
27.) Always bring a single red rose to lay upon the stage for Bo.
28.) Surrender to the thundering bass as Tommy gets locked into his rock-destroyer stance and blasts you right dead in the chest.
29.) If you have to piss during a show, use a bathroom not your cup.
30.) Do not piss on people. (see: #29)
31.) If you are a minor do the rest of the fanbase a favor and do not drink until you are puking on people.  It's gross and offensive.
32.) #'s 29-31 can be bundled under: check yourself before you wreck yourself.
33.) when you make eye contact with jim, or any of the guys, that is your moment.  yours & his.  nobody else is there.  just you two.  savor it.
34.) if you can't dance well, dance like a fool.  cuz who fucking cares anyway!
35.) Bring someone new to a show.   Watch him/her out of the corner of your eye.   Try to catch the precise moment when the lightbulb goes on that this is the best shit they've ever seen.
36.) You know the songs better than the newbie you bring.   Do not let him/her leave at inopportune times.
Example:
Them:  "This sounds slow - I'm off for a piss and beer run"
You:  "This is Dondante.  You're not going anywhere".
          b.) If said friend does stay to enjoy Dondante make sure they follow rules #26, 29-32.
37.) Cell phones are only to be used to take pictures with if you don't own a digital camera. All of your real friends are at the show with you, on stage and in the crowd. Airplane mode should be on for the entire show, including the opener whom you may not care about.
38.) Save Energy and Help Fight Global Warming by Shutting Off Your Cellphone once you get into the show.
39.) Refrain from using flash if you're compelled to take photos.
40.) Give/Get a random high five to/from a stranger during Mahgeetah. 
41.) Once, and only once during a show, when the tingles come over you, and you realize how lucky you are (in the history and future of the world) to be witnessing an event as monumental as a My Morning Jacket concert, you can levitate a little.  No more than 1 1/2 - 2 1/4 inches off the ground though...you don't want to freak out the people behind you.
42.) Always, ALWAYS wear sensible shoes, especially if you're planning on jumping up and down a lot. Your legs will thank you the next day.
43) When the first notes of HotBM are played, and then the initial screaming part takes place, be sure to tilt your head back, and scream to the heavens at the top of your lungs "Oh Oh Oh OhOH OH OH OH" etc. as if angels are coming down from the sky

feel free to add to the list, it's incomplete and in need of revisions.

6) You must move with the music in order for the music to move you

Quote6) You must move with the music in order for the music to move you

good one chode, very good indeed.  updated to version 1.1

7.) At some point when it's fairly quiet, and if you have any voice left, shout a loud as you can MORE REVERB!

BH knows what I'm talkin about

EDIT cuz I can't spell quiet correctly.

Quote7.) At some point when it's fairly quite, and if you have any voice left, shout a loud as you can MORE REVERB!

BH knows what I'm talkin about

a glorious asset as always mjk.  updated.

8)  You must forget you can't sing like YY (no mortal can) and try anyway at the top of your lungs

Quote8)  You must forget you can't sing like YY (no mortal can) and try anyway at the top of your lungs

that's a pretty good one for a n00b.   [smiley=thumbsup.gif]

Do clock arms in sync with patrick. ;D

QuoteDo clock arms in sync with patrick. ;D

fair enough alwxander.

Ok, this may be a bit more personal, but I highly recommend it:

10) Close your eyes for 30 secs during the song of your choice to hear it in a whole new way

QuoteOk, this may be a bit more personal, but I highly recommend it:

10) Close your eyes for 30 secs during the song of your choice to hear it in a whole new way

that's a good one.  it made me think of one I couldn't believe I forgot. one of the most important of all rules.  Get In The Zone.

had to think about this for a second, because this one for me has become second nature, but you have to sing back the "oh i know" in dancefloors (which will obviously be played with the horn section present this tour).

Quotehad to think about this for a second, because this one for me has become second nature, but you have to sing back the "oh i know" in dancefloors (which will obviously be played with the horn section present this tour).

I can dig it.

When a slow song comes on, take advantage of it because not only will it sound beautiful, it will let you catch your breath

QuoteWhen a slow song comes on, take advantage of it because not only will it sound beautiful, it will let you catch your breath

Qual-it-T yo.  don't stop chode, you're squirtin' out some goodness.

At least one point in the night, turn to someone next to you and give them the "oh my fucking god" look, but don't say anything, and have them reciprocate.

QuoteAt least one point in the night, turn to someone next to you and give them the "oh my fucking god" look, but don't say anything, and have them reciprocate.

marvelous ghost, marvelous.  

When you hear that new song for the first time....listen and groove accordingly for about 30-45 seconds...and then proceed to rock the fuck out and take it all in because you can only hear it for the first time once

Give arms in the air righteous praise to the Rock Gods for that soul awakening "THUMP" you can feel in you spleen.Bring it Mr.Blankenship!

QuoteWhen you hear that new song for the first time....listen and groove accordingly for about 30-45 seconds...and then proceed to rock the fuck out and take it all in because you can only hear it for the first time once

I like this one.  It shows respect.

QuoteGive arms in the air righteous praise to the Rock Gods for that soul awakening "THUMP" you can feel in you spleen.Bring it Mr.Blankenship!

Clever and quite genius.

feel deep emotion and various chills rise up inside you and instead of trying to control them, turn the knob up to boil.

 ;D This thread made me laugh.

Quotefeel deep emotion and various chills rise up inside you and instead of trying to control them, turn the knob up to boil.

beeeautiful.

This is my only negative one:

Glow sticks are not weapons to be used against the band; they are useless against the flying v

- or -

Never bring a glow stick to an axe fight

- and -

If you ever find yourself in a one-man mosh pit, don't

Quote

Quotefeel deep emotion and various chills rise up inside you and instead of trying to control them, turn the knob up to boil.

beeeautiful.

does boil=11?

Quote

Quote

Quotefeel deep emotion and various chills rise up inside you and instead of trying to control them, turn the knob up to boil.

beeeautiful.

does boil=11?

Yes, I just thought boil seemed more appropriate.  I was a bit intoxicated when I wrote that last night.  (At least I didn't drunk text you again.)   ;D

QuoteAt least one point in the night, turn to someone next to you and give them the "oh my fucking god" look, but don't say anything, and have them reciprocate.

And then both, in unison, break out 2 joints to share with all the people around you.  Preferably pre- Steam Engine, Run Thru or another anticipated extended jam.  Mandatory pre-Cobra.

Quote

Quote

Quote

Quotefeel deep emotion and various chills rise up inside you and instead of trying to control them, turn the knob up to boil.

beeeautiful.

does boil=11?

Yes, I just thought boil seemed more appropriate.  I was a bit intoxicated when I wrote that last night.  (At least I didn't drunk text you again.)   ;D

i miss the drunk texts...haven't gotten any in a year or so! srsly, get me on speed text when you break open okokonos

If "War Begun" or "Steam Engine" are played, weep openly.

Laugh out loud at least once, when you are overwhelmed with how ridiculously good they are.   This happens to me at every show, kind of a "are you kidding me" chuckle.

keep them coming folks.

This is one of those threads that may turn out to be one of the best of all time.   Every single contribution is really great.

Check out the start of Wordless Chorus. That's what I'm talkin aboot kids.

http://www.archive.org/details/mmj2006-11-20.The_Pageant_St_Louis_MO

QuoteLaugh out loud at least once, when you are overwhelmed with how ridiculously good they are.   This happens to me at every show, kind of a "are you kidding me" chuckle.

Sorry to quote myself - I forgot another part of this-  I"m usually shaking my head from side to side in disbelief while chuckling.

Quote

QuoteLaugh out loud at least once, when you are overwhelmed with how ridiculously good they are.   This happens to me at every show, kind of a "are you kidding me" chuckle.

Sorry to quote myself - I forgot another part of this-  I"m usually shaking my head from side to side in disbelief while chuckling.

me too, man.  me too.

these "rules" are awesome!

updated to version 3.0 Beta.  should run fine but I'm still workin the bugs out of the code.  

Great thread! *writes down, frames and hangs on wall*  :)

ooh here's another one:

25.) If you're close to the stage and Jim is in the zone, close to the edge, be ready to catch him.  Even in the dark.

i'm pretty sure i've done at least fifteen of these items during jacket shows... it's going to be a bitter sweet wait for Columbus.  

Just Shut the Fuck Up during Dondante!  

There ya go Sticky

QuoteJust Shut the Fuck Up during Dondante!  

There ya go Sticky

I find it hard to speak during Dondante.

Quote

QuoteJust Shut the Fuck Up during Dondante!  

There ya go Sticky

I find it hard to speak during Dondante.

All of us here do.  Amen

QuoteJust Shut the Fuck Up during Dondante!  

There ya go Sticky

fuck yes ruckus.  updated.

27.) Always bring a single red rose to lay upon the stage for Bo.

I'm a little late to this thread.  I think I qualify for damn near all of your list.   8-)

Just got back to my room after the Nashville show.  GA is crazy for a middle aged freak like me.  But, between Birmingham and Nashville, I've done it all, though I have not heard it all (the two set lists were at least 90% identical).  

QuoteI'm a little late to this thread.  I think I qualify for damn near all of your list.   8-)

Just got back to my room after the Nashville show.  GA is crazy for a middle aged freak like me.  But, between Birmingham and Nashville, I've done it all, though I have not heard it all (the two set lists were at least 90% identical).  

I think the only difference songwise was Wonderful yesterday (in place of Mahgeetah). They flip flopped a few other songs, but Im pretty sure that was the only difference.

I like the set, but I hope they switch it up a little a week from now. I might quit looking at the sets just to be slightly surprised, hopefully.

Quote



I think the only difference songwise was Wonderful yesterday. They flip flopped a few other songs, but Im pretty sure that was the only difference.

I like the set, but I hope they switch it up a little a week from now. I might quit looking at the sets just to be slightly surprised, hopefully.

I think you are going to MPP too, as I recall from the other thread - and I am doing as you suggest - watching one more show setlist tomorrow, then self-imposed blackout for a week to increase the chance of any positive surprise.

On the setlist change, it appears Mahgeetah out, Wonderful in.   Trying to stay positive and be openminded to whatever direction the band takes me, but .... OUCH on that trade.    Haven't seen Steam Engine live since 2006, then PWWest gone, then Mahgeetah!?!    It's a crazy new world we live in these days!!!!!

Surrender to the thundering bass as Tommy gets locked into his rock-destroyer stance and blasts you right dead in the chest.

Mahgeetah out, Wonderful in, plus they added Carried Away.  

That's definitely less change than normal but it seems like that happens more often in back to back shows.  Plus, with over a year of layoff, it might take them just a bit to get back up to speed!

QuoteLaugh out loud at least once, when you are overwhelmed with how ridiculously good they are.   This happens to me at every show, kind of a "are you kidding me" chuckle.

Ha, this happens a lot.

QuoteSurrender to the thundering bass as Tommy gets locked into his rock-destroyer stance and blasts you right dead in the chest.

nice one. lets keep this baby afloat.

Phenomenal [smiley=thumbsup.gif]  [smiley=vrolijk_26.gif] Can't wait, can't wait...... these are guidelines I was hoping would be in place  [smiley=evil.gif]

I feel the need to updated the list to include no pissing rules after doing some reading round these parts.

29.) If you have to piss during a show, use a bathroom not your cup.
30.) Do not piss on people. (see: #29)
31.) If you are a minor do the rest of the fanbase a favor and do not drink until you are puking on people.  It's gross and offensive.

I was hoping to get up to at least 100 delicious tips, get motivated people I still need your help.  there is no criteria other than to try and be creative.

29-31 could be bundled under:
check yourself before you wreck yourself.

(sorry, i know you're trying to up the #'s but, i too, was inspired.)

when you make eye contact with jim, or any of the guys, that is your moment.  yours & his.  nobody else is there.  just you two.  savor it.

if you can't dance well, dance like a fool.  cuz who fucking cares anyway!

Quote29-31 could be bundled under:
check yourself before you wreck yourself.

(sorry, i know you're trying to up the #'s but, i too, was inspired.)

when you make eye contact with jim, or any of the guys, that is your moment.  yours & his.  nobody else is there.  just you two.  savor it.

if you can't dance well, dance like a fool.  cuz who fucking cares anyway!

see this is the quality shit I'm talking about.  you never let me down ynwa.  I'm not so worried about the #'s just curious what kinds of weird shit we can come up with.  I think collectively we've got at least 100things we could think of.  but that remains to be seen I suppose.  and fuck it if it falls under the same thing, this is a brain exercise.  hope this gets ridiculous.

you just upped the list +3.  

holy shit AND your helpful glorious contribution upgraded our systems to version 4.0. fuck yes.

Quote
if you can't dance well, dance like a fool.  cuz who fucking cares anyway!

Best one yet  :D

Bring someone new to a show.   Watch him/her out of the corner of your eye.   Try to catch the precise moment when the lightbulb goes on that this is the best shit they've ever seen.

QuoteBring someone new to a show.   Watch him/her out of the corner of your eye.   Try to catch the precise moment when the lightbulb goes on that this is the best shit they've ever seen.

aight.

QuoteBring someone new to a show.   Watch him/her out of the corner of your eye.   Try to catch the precise moment when the lightbulb goes on that this is the best shit they've ever seen.

YES!  I love this one.

#42.  You know the songs better than the newbie you bring.   Do not let him/her leave at inopportune times.

Example
Them:  "This sounds slow - I'm off for a piss and beer run"
You:  "This is Dondante.  You're not going anywhere".

Quote#42.  You know the songs better than the newbie you bring.   Do not let him/her leave at inopportune times.

Example
Them:  "This sounds slow - I'm off for a piss and beer run"
You:  "This is Dondante.  You're not going anywhere".

updated. I added a clause to that shit just in case.  

These are supreme additions!!

QuoteBring someone new to a show.   Watch him/her out of the corner of your eye.   Try to catch the precise moment when the lightbulb goes on that this is the best shit they've ever seen.

nice one!  i'll have to remember this sat...

This is probably a corollary to #14, but I always like getting a random high five from a stranger during Mahgeetah.  Never fails to make me smile.

QuoteThis is probably a corollary to #14, but I always like getting a random high five from a stranger during Mahgeetah.  Never fails to make me smile.

I will definitely hit you up Saturday night.   However, I know wonder if that counts as a random high five from a stranger since you posted that here?

Cell phones are only to be used to take pictures with if you dont own a digital camera. All of your real friends are at the show with you, on stage and in the crowd. Airplane mode should be on for the entire show, including the opener whom you may not care about

Quote#42.  You know the songs better than the newbie you bring.   Do not let him/her leave at inopportune times.

Example
Them:  "This sounds slow - I'm off for a piss and beer run"
You:  "This is Dondante.  You're not going anywhere".

;D

QuoteCell phones are only to be used to take pictures with if you dont own a digital camera. All of your real friends are at the show with you, on stage and in the crowd. Airplane mode should be on for the entire show, including the opener whom you may not care about

good call, I'm really surprised there haven't been any cellphone rules until now.

I know! Everyone says the same thing about every show- "there were a ton of dicks on their phones the entire time"

I always wonder what happens to all those crappy cell phone pics.  I like to think that someone, somewhere is blowing them up poster-size and framing them.   ;D

How about refrain from using flash if you're compelled to take photos? There were people at the Preservation Hall show using flash. That room is about the size of my kitchen. What. The. Hell?!?

QuoteHow about refrain from using flash if you're compelled to take photos? There were people at the Preservation Hall show using flash. That room is about the size of my kitchen. What. The. Hell?!?

verry gooood

Quote

QuoteHow about refrain from using flash if you're compelled to take photos? There were people at the Preservation Hall show using flash. That room is about the size of my kitchen. What. The. Hell?!?

verry gooood

Superagreed. I take a lot of photos, but I never have the flash on. I'm sure if I did, though, some of the artists I've seen would have come off the stage and kicked my ass

QuoteI always wonder what happens to all those crappy cell phone pics.  I like to think that someone, somewhere is blowing them up poster-size and framing them.   ;D

hahaha!
;D

QuoteThis is probably a corollary to #14, but I always like getting a random high five from a stranger during Mahgeetah.  Never fails to make me smile.

This! I was random high fiving every mofo around me at the NashVegas show :) Too bad I wasn't by the glowstick throwing doucher so I could "accidentally" miss the high five & plant an open handed palm directly on the bridge of his nose :P

QuoteThis is probably a corollary to #14, but I always like getting a random high five from a stranger during Mahgeetah.  Never fails to make me smile.

I totally missed this one, sorry about that alady it's updated now tho.

Once, and only once during a show, when the tingles come over you, and you realize how lucky you are (in the history and future of the world) to be witnessing an event as monumental as a My Morning Jacket concert, you can levitate a little.  No more than 1 1/2 - 2 1/4 inches off the ground though...you don't want to freak out the people behind you.

QuoteOnce, and only once during a show, when the tingles come over you, and you realize how lucky you are (in the history and future of the world) to be witnessing an event as monumental as a My Morning Jacket concert, you can levitate a little.  No more than 1 1/2 - 2 1/4 inches off the ground though...you don't want to freak out the people behind you.

I always forget about this one because it usually happens when I'm in the zone.  good call.

with MMJ fever running high these days, I thought this thread worth bumping.   See post # 1.

I always do 40 and 14.   I hope to do 12 and 21.

I just stumbled across this thread and all it's greatness!  I will try my best to implement this protocol for my 2nd jacket show in atl.  how's this:
It's completely permissable to attempt to sing along to the senseless mumblings that is Wordless Chorus.  I cant listen to this song without screaming like an idiot...just me?

This thread is awesome.  :D

This thread is wildly entertaining!  ;D

If I may add one:

Always, ALWAYS wear sensible shoes, especially if you're planning on jumping up and down a lot. Your legs will thank you the next day.

(trust me on this, as my legs were definitely not thanking me today)

Quote from: JaneCool on Aug 13, 2011, 08:36 PM
This thread is wildly entertaining!  ;D

If I may add one:

Always, ALWAYS wear sensible shoes, especially if you're planning on jumping up and down a lot. Your legs will thank you the next day.

(trust me on this, as my legs were definitely not thanking me today)

updated.

Considering the new stuff... Can I add one?

43) When the first notes of HotBM are played, and then the initial screaming part takes place, be sure to tilt your head back, and scream to the heavens at the top of your lungs "Oh Oh Oh OhOH OH OH OH" etc. as if angels are coming down from the sky

Quote from: Nicholas Yames on Aug 15, 2011, 02:18 PM
Considering the new stuff... Can I add one?

43) When the first notes of HotBM are played, and then the initial screaming part takes place, be sure to tilt your head back, and scream to the heavens at the top of your lungs "Oh Oh Oh OhOH OH OH OH" etc. as if angels are coming down from the sky

sure duder, everyone is welcome.  sorry I missed this.

Quote from: el_chode on Apr 21, 2010, 11:56 AM
This is my only negative one:

Glow sticks are not weapons to be used against the band; they are useless against the flying v

- or -

Never bring a glow stick to an axe fight

- and -

If you ever find yourself in a one-man mosh pit, don't

Look at me being all consistent nearly 3 years ago

That was lovely! 

Maybe a good one is don't be mean to the people in the parking lot at Red Rock or any venue who are getting pumped by listening to MMJ's Z but instead embrace with high fives and sweet dance moves.

That made the initial starting point of the extravaganza that was Red Rocks this last summer so cool, to hear a bunch of people just jamming out to their favorite MMJ album.  so very cool.  I can't wait to get the opportunity to take my dad to a MMJ show.

This has been one of my favorite threads for years. Since there are several new people coming to the forum these days, I thought I'd bump this for them.

It never ceases to amaze me how much this band is loved by so many righteous people.  Love the rules - I think I follow must of them naturally.
I always love to add a note from a fellow jacket lover who once wrote after a show that his favorite part of the show was when they played Dondante and he realized when he looked around that he was not the only one crying.  Speaks volumes about how much this band means to people......................

Love Jacket Heads Love Jacket Shows!  Great List Sticky! 

So at the last Seattle Paramount MMJ show, Dondante starts and my friend's like i got to take a piss and I'm dude you don't want to miss this.  we argued for a few seconds and then i said fine go piss. and he stood next to me grumpily but at minute ten man was he back into the show.  Then about a week later i found this thread.  SWEET!  any who that friend still owes me 60 dollars for that show...last time i take him to a concert.

how about....

1) don't go to a MMJ with band of horses opening (if you're a bigger BOH fan) expecting that the BOH are going to be on the same scale or anywhere near the mighty MMJ.

Quote from: bartel on May 13, 2014, 06:40 PM
how about....

1) don't go to a MMJ with band of horses opening (if you're a bigger BOH fan) expecting that the BOH are going to be on the same scale or anywhere near the mighty MMJ.

Damn Good Rule.  BOH are alright. MMJ ARE GODS!

It might possibly be the most unfair thing in the world that i can't go see MMJ right now.  Also hyperbole doesn't exist when your an MMJ fan.

If you have a spliff, share it.