my Boulder story

[bo dereks tits]

hello all,

i thought i would share my experience at the boulder halloween show.

I should probably start out by telling you that my mother passed away on Oct. 11, most of this story has everything to do with that.  She had brain cancer.

The day started off strangely.   I had been back in Boulder for only 5 days, my mom's death still very fresh.  It had been particularly rough that first week (still is, up and down, up and down), i'd been trying to exercise every day to help keep my sanity.  This day I went for a run, a new route....was going well until i missed a turn.... i kept going and going, at this point walkin/running, knowing i had messed up somewhere but that eventually i would end up at Broadway, one of the main roads in town.   Finally the trail hits Broadway, and at the light I cross the street to the Wild Oats to call my dumb ass a cab home at 2something in the afternoon.  Who do I see crossing the street from the other side and heading towards Wild Oats, but Jim James.   A bit starstruck, I waited till he came out and said hello, he was very cool....i told him about my mom, he said he was sorry to hear that.  He seemed pretty happy, said it was "a beautiful day" (it was), and that he was very psyched for the show.  

Anyways, on to the show.  I had all this steam building up inside of me from the last week.  All this emotion piling up.
I kinda new something wierd was gonna happen.  

I, like some of you, have been borderline obsessed with MMJ's music.  In fact, the only things that kept me sane in the 3 months since my mom' s condition detioriated until her death, were MMJ and Six Feet Under On Demand.   Other music of course, but MMJ more than anything else, as Jim's voice and the music enabled me to temporarily escape the horror and be in a less troubled place.  Songs like wordless chorus, The way that he sings, golden...so many others, had become so personal to me.

After Saul Williams' great opening set, I went down in front of the stage.  Usually I have a couple drinks and mill about the Fox or wherever, but I knew tonight would be different.  No booze, no chatting, I just stood and waited.  
The band came out with Ghostbusters theme, the crowd ate it up.  Then they proceeded to rip into their songs, with their incredible energy and headbanging....i could see kids around me who hadn't seen them before literally being blown away, having to take a step back when the rocking out was out its fiercest.  
It was around "One Big Holiday", one of my favs, that I started to zone out and kind of had my mom come to the core of my thoughts.  During the song I thought about her being on "one big holiday", and all the emotion was starting to build to a boil.  It was the next song (I think it was next), where Jim said that was going to "tendarize" us, when he pulled out the acoustic and treated to us to a ridiculously beautiful rendition of "Golden".  Not one person around me near the stage, talked, moved or even scratched themselves during this, all eyes fixated on Jim.  This is where the release happenened.  At this point I was tuning everything out except for the music and my mom....when Jim sang "people always told me, that bars are dark and lonely......." i thought about my mom and all the great lessons and advice she has tought me, all the love she gave......i simultaneously felt so thankful for that, yet so sad that I would not be getting anymore lessons from her, at least directly, and i began to cry.  And the whole song was just a fountain of tears after that for me.  

Afterwards I felt like i had lifted this weight and I felt better.
The rest of the show was not suprisingly incredible, how could it not when your favorite band is playing in your town.  Lay Low was especially hot, having not been one of favs, they drew the ending out and completely killed it.  
And the Magheetah was a big release of positivity, the crowd going ape shit, the band going apeshit, smiles all around.  
At the end of the show, I felt sort of sad that it was over, but I also felt a huge graditude for the band, their music, for helping me cope in such a tough situation.  Up until that night, I hadn't realized how much stock I had taken in them, how much I had relied on them to get me through.  It all hit that night, during the show.
 All the intense moments, being with my mom on her death bed, I remember I had the "way that he sings" guitar melody going through my head for hours......constantly.  I hadn't realized it at the time.
That night after the show I felt lucky that this band was around and that I was lucky enough to be so engulfed by their music...and by music in general.  

continued.....

[bo dereks tits]

.....con't (I had to split this up as the original post was too long  :o)

Afterwards, I went to a friends house for a minute, then left, I was on my way home, and I thought i'd just stop by the Fox, b/c maybe, i could tell the guys, thank you....

Normally i would never do anything like this, but this was not a normal night, i felt somewhat possessed.  

So I drive around and see the tour bus parked on the street around the block from the Fox.  I park a block away and just walk up.  There are a few guys hanging out on the grass next to the bus.  I notice the drummer, and Bo, and a couple crew guys.   I said hello, what's up, etc.....They asked me if there was a pizza joint around the corner, which there was,
Bo is standing next to me, so I tell him its around the corner.  They started walking and I just sort of walked with them, next to Bo actually.....and I just told him flat out about my show, about my mom, about how I couldn't put into words how much their music meant to me and how it helped me.  I just felt the need to tell him.  He seemed very humbled, offered his condolences and began to tell me about how hard it is......how Jim and the KY guys had lost a few people to suicide, how some of the songs on Z were about that (which i knew from reading this board)...and about how music is such a great force for healing.  

We talked all the way to the pizza shop, and he proceeded to pay for my pizza, and thanked me for talking to him and for coming to the show.   Just a super solid guy.  

So there's about 4 or 5 of the MMJ guys, Bo, Tommy, and some crew guys.  I get my slice and I'm standing there eating it, Tommy is at one of the benches and he tells me to "have a seat".  I sit down across from Two Tone himself and we eat our slices.   Tommy is very quiet and soft spoken.  I asked him what they had been listening to on the bus, and he told me that they were so busy that they didn't really have time to listen to music, and that he hadn't really gotten anything new lately.  So I told him about the Boards of Canada disc that I had just bought.   (Any BoC fans on here?)  He had never heard of them so I told him about them, 2 Scottish guys living in rural Scotland, in a house with a huge collection of vintage electronic instruments, never do interviews....etc.   He seemed pretty intrigued...I told him that he needs to check out there first LP "Music has the Right to Children" because it's pretty much the "Kind of Blue" or "Electric Ladyland" of electronic music and he seems very interested.  We chat so more about Louisville etc, and its very clear that Tommy in person is a genuine, soft
spoken guy.  Very down to earth and great to talk to.  

So I leave them, say thanks, walk to my car, get in......then i realize that I have a burned copy of "Music has the Right...."  
in my CD book, so I run back out and hand it to Tommy and he's seemed genuinely stoked, thanked me and wished me luck.  

I walk back to the car, and drive home, smiling, thinking that I maybe, just maybe might have turned My Morning Jacket on to Boards of Canada........:)  I smiled for a lot of other reasons as well.  


Anyway thanks for reading this far if you made it, sorry it's so long and cheesy.  But it was some DEEP spiritual shit for me and I felt the need to get it out.  

Thanks again boys.  

;D

[dragonboy]

Wow! What an amazing story!
Very sorry to hear about your mum...

Thanks for sharing  :)

[EC]

I liked reading that, too.  You made me cry this morning bdt.  :)  Sounds like you had a really special time.

[cmccubbin25]

that's awesome...the power of music never ceases to amaze me!

sorry to hear about your mom.

[Dee.]

Thank you for sharing.  Not long and cheesy at all, more like right on.  I'm glad to hear that you had such a great experience.  And I'm very sorry to hear about your mom.

[tinyorangepig]

sounds like you had a great evening and great emotional release.  thanks for sharing your story.

[JacketGal]

Very touching and kudos to you for sharing it.  The power of music and the human spirit never ceases to amaze me. Good vibes to you....

[havibulin]

amen brotha. :)

[kerri]

Yeah, thanks for sharing that story. I can relate - I lost my stepdaughter in August and listening to MMJ has helped to focus all this raw emotion. When I'm really lost in the music -- like you were the other night -- I swear I can feel it healing my soul.

"We'll go through this thing together, and on heaven's golden shores we'll lay our heads."

[tripingbillies]

wow, that story has restored my faith in music. I want to say im sorry about your mom but i would bet anything in the world that she was with you that night.  MMJ has represented a lot of things for me and it has become an obsession for me.  I haven't been this excited about a band in years, pearl jam was the only one to come to mind and that was back in 92.  Pearl jam got me through the death of my best friend so i understand the power of music.  I have downloaded every show i can get my hands on and i am so stoked for the phx show.  The first time i had heard of mmj was them opening for eyes adrift.  My friend micheal said they were awesome and he gave me a copy of Tennesse fire and i was hooked. As i kept up with mmj they impressed me more and more.  LIke you Golden brings a tear to my eyes when he says the line about bars being dark and lonely.  It seems as if he can channel every emotion into a song.  I will give a cheers to your mom during OBH because like you said your mom just went on a holiday and she will be waiting and smiling for you when you need holiday.  

[amylou]

thanks so much for sharing this story.  My boyfriend died of cancer and their music has helped me thru some tough times.  It's alos really nice to know that the guys are so down to earth.  I'm looking forward to my very first (full) show in St. Louis next week.  I saw them in Ohio for the Vote for Change Tour, but saw only the last song.  Take care!

[whothrewthecake]

what  a wonderful, touching story. i feel honored that you shared that. thank you.

[bo dereks tits]

thanks for condolences everyone!  i'm glad you enjoyed it, it makes me feel pretty good to read your replies!  It took me about an hour to write all that  :o   Music is the most powerful force that I know of, to those of you who are also struggling through a loss, its the "up" times that gets us through the "down" times, and music can and will get you "UP" !!

now, on a totally different subject, is anyone here into Boards of Canada?

[cmccubbin25]

now, on a totally different subject, is anyone here into Boards of Canada?

try starting a thread in other music and people will probably be able to respond easier and find it easier...

never heard of them but i would like to check it out..what do they sound like?

[primushead]

To be honest, I usually skip over the long posts.  Actually (sorry board), i don't think I've ever read over 2-3 posts that go this long.  But I read the entire thing today.  Beginning to end.  I even read it again.  I'm glad you got to hang with mmj and sorry to hear about your mom.  Deaths in the family are awful.  But glad to hear you had a good time, and thanks for engulfing my attention.  You other "boring posters" can learn a thing or two. :)

[bo dereks tits]

try starting a thread in other music and people will probably be able to respond easier and find it easier...

will do  ;)

[tbone]

thanks for condolences everyone!  i'm glad you enjoyed it, it makes me feel pretty good to read your replies!  It took me about an hour to write all that  :o   Music is the most powerful force that I know of, to those of you who are also struggling through a loss, its the "up" times that gets us through the "down" times, and music can and will get you "UP" !!

now, on a totally different subject, is anyone here into Boards of Canada?

dude....

your story just blew me the F away...

wow.

what more can one say?

i'm sitting here choking back the tears.... and to make it more impactful, GOLDEN came on my iTunes at the EXACT same time as i was reading it in your story....

damn, that's eerie....

just keep in mind, your mom will always be with you - guiding you through all of life's ups and downs.... she'll be the wings on your back.

i think about my grandmom the same way, she basically raised me and my little sis, and i know she is always guiding me in the right direction.

thank you sooo much for sharing that.... as the other guy said earlier, i feel honored that you shared that with us.

:)

[bo dereks tits]

man i love this f'ing band.  

thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.

whenever i've been feeling sad and feeling that hole,
i reach for a MMJ disc and off i go......

[wellfleet]

bo derek... i'm sorry to hear about your mom and i'm sure she is loved and missed.
thank you for opening up, as you can see, a lot of us have shared in your pain, and, thank goodness, in your healing.
"golden" has magic powers, oh yes it does...
my first full concert was in dallas on friday. i went with my husband (of almost 3 months now) and when they played "golden" i couldn't help it, the tears just spilled over on their own and i held his hand so tight...
..."go through this thing together"...

thanks, Band, for those words... ok, now i'm crying too.