Getting girls.....

[corey]

Hmmm.... Where to start?

A) How old are you?
You don't look that old, so worring about shit like this seems to be kind of pointless. I don't mean that in a bad way, but you could focus that energy on your music. I hate to say it like this, but you seem to be in a pretty bad state of mind. Focusing all of that negative energy into your music could probably make for some of the most creative things that you've ever put together. Not many artists out there can make a living off of shiny, happy shit.  :)

B) Have you thought of asking people in bands if they want to do side-projects? Maybe if you can convince them to play for a while, they'll become more interested in what you are doing with them than what they are doing with their other band. It happened to me once. It's happened before to other people, so it could happen to you.

C) This isn't a quesion, just a statement. If a fat little bastard like me can snag a wonderful lady, then god damn it, anyone can. I never thought I'd be married, but I am and it's fucking awesome.

D) Get out of that fucking basement. Chicks aren't going to show up at your door and ask you if you want to kick it.
:)

I'm not trying to be mean. I promise.

[Enrump]

Amen to that!

[jonjon]

Dude, I'm in there with everyone else. You gotta make you
happy first. And you have to start with sunshine, of which there is none in that basement.

OK, I was told to never say this to anyone, but I have not dated in 7 years. Why? I don't know how to play the meat market game. I don't have the fancy lines that get the women. Looks? I'm bald, fat with a gap between my teeth. No prize, trust me.

But I do enjoy the prescence of hanging with female friends. The energy is enough to satisfy that 'I gotta have a woman' fix. Make friends first, you never know what may happen. Stand at the top of your stairs and simply say hello to the females that pass by. Everything starts with a little conversation.

If the depression is that severe, get you some help. If the tooth hurts, get it fixed. If the soul hurts, fix it too. But trust me, after you finish lugging in her crap from 4 hours at the mall, you'll love your basement.
Just kidding ladies, we love shopping with you.

"Oh yeah, and my compliments to your mom and dad. They did a hell of a job."

You can use that line if you want.

Got some more too.

"Baby, you're so fine, I'd drink your bath water."
"Someone notify heaven. They must be missing an angel."
"I know you must be tired baby, you've been running through my mind all day."

Try em all.

Baby

[kymoose]

"Baby, you're so fine, I'd drink your bath water."
"Someone notify heaven. They must be missing an angel."
"I know you must be tired baby, you've been running through my mind all day."

......dude those are some great lines.  One of those is sure to get you slapped across the face!

[EC]

As a girl, I just need to comment on the line business.  I personally find them hilarious.  ESPECIALLY when the person is being serious.  If the person's being funny, then that's a different story.  

"Hi" is pretty good.  Especially if you have other things to say afterwards.  

Okay, here's a great example.  Some guy came up to me last night and started with hi, and then he started asking me questions, and so we had a little chat.  

I think that's the trick.  If you start with hi, and introduce yourself (don't ask for her name first because that can be creepy), and then just ask questions.  

If she doesn't ask questions back, leave immediately.  :)

[aMillionDreams]

Dude, forget the pickup lines.  Here's what you do.  Act like this shit (getting girls) doesn't bother you, just go about your busines and one day this shit really won't bother you and on that day or soon after you will find the girl of your dreams.  Trust me, it's a tried and true formula.  

[SMc55]

Dude, I'm in there with everyone else. You gotta make you
happy first. And you have to start with sunshine, of which there is none in that basement.

So true. Good thinking there, Jonjon.

Just wondering how you're feeling today Tony. Better I hope.

[realdeal]

Yeah...I don't hang out anywhere...I only feel safe in my basement...Going to work and going outside is a chore for me...

yikes....

the only way you are going to meet anyone is by getting you pathetic face out in public.....

[EC]

yikes....

the only way you are going to meet anyone is by getting you pathetic face out in public.....

Jesus Christ, realdeal, is that really fucking helpful?  Come ON.   >:(

[TheLink]

I don't know folks.  he thinks online dating is wierd, so is getting advice from a bunch of rock fans on the MMJ fansite.  I feel your pain man, cause I have had my ups and downs, but just deal with it and hopefully you'll bump into some girl someday.  In the meantime, keep filling your mind with knowledge and music.  Love is ok, but it can suck a lot too.  Keep it real.  Later.

[jonjon]

Tony, you have 2 pages of post here because a family cares about you. You are obviously a loved person. Know that there a group people that care about you. We care with humor, bad lines and little funnies to try to make you laugh. Hang in there bud.

[EC]

That's the shizzah, jon.  :)

[jonjon]

That's the shizzah, jon.  :)

Well my nizzle. Life is the shizzal bam bizzle.
My boy is down like a frizzle and his homies got
to get his dizzle out of the trizzle. Him be in the basement suffering from deprizzles while everyone else is drinking Bourbon with homies & homettes and getting jizzled. Got to share the love...ya know. Cause, you know, him our boy and shit, you know.

[EC]

Well my nizzle. Life is the shizzal bam bizzle.
My boy is down like a frizzle and his homies got
to get his dizzle out of the trizzle. Him be in the basement suffering from deprizzles while everyone else is drinking Bourbon with homies & homettes and getting jizzled. Got to share the love...ya know. Cause, you know, him our boy and shit, you know.

AAAAHHHHHH THAT IS SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!  GOOD WORK!!
 ;D

[fitzcarraldo]

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fa Drizzle.

[EC]

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fa Drizzle.

Oh. My. God.  That is so good.  I need to say that all the time.  Ah hahahahahah.  Yay!  :)

[primushead]

If you like that one, you'll LOVE this one.  

What did 50-cent say to his grandma?
--"Gee, you knit?" (G-Unit, get it? Hahaha...)  Thanks everyone, I'll be here all week.

[Chills]

Keep those jokes coming! Unfortunately I don't know any rap jokes, only can't help humming some stupid lines of rap hits in my head. Like

Go ahead and envy me, I'm rap's MVP
or
Suckers trying to be the king but the ace is back
or
My texture is the best fur of chincilla (or something like that)
or
F-I-F-T-Y C-E-N-T and S-N double O-P
We internationally known and locally respected

Hip hop hits are great! Feel free to add your favorite rap line! Or jokes.

And keep it real...

[jonjon]

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
Fa Drizzle.

That's funnier than shit. ROTFL