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The Daily Hamburger Joke

Started by EC, Aug 06, 2005, 07:21 am

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EC

A great gift from the elders was bestowed upon me yesterday.  It was given to me to use as a source of profundity and deep comfort.  I have decided to share the teachings of this book with the world, here.  I am hoping that I remember to do this.

The book is called "101 Hamburger Jokes ...meaty jokes to be devoured with relish", written by Phil Hirsch.

"Is there a way to make a hamburger do the Hula [dance]?

Sure, order a burger and shake!"

I trust that you all will use this with care - for good, and not for evil.

EC

What did the hamburger say when it pleaded "not guilty"?

I've been flamed!


(I believe it's worth noting, for further study, that each punchline is accentuated with an exclamation point.  In all 101 of the jokes.  Coincidence?  I think not.)

SmoothOprtr

It's your enthusiasm that really sells these jokes.  I just don't think I could possibly replicate if I attempted a retelling...
The only two things in life that make it worth livin Is guitars that tune good and firm feelin women

EC

What do meatballs say about mystery stories?

The pot thickens!

EC

How do we know burgers love young people?

They're pro-teen!

EC

How do you make a meat loaf?

Send it on a vacation!

whothrewthecake

in my opinion, these keep getting better and better.
keep 'em coming.

EC

Quotein my opinion, these keep getting better and better.
keep 'em coming.
"If I can reach one person, just one..." :)

EC

Why do hamburgers feel sad at barbecues?

They get to meet their old flames!

Chills

QuoteWhy do hamburgers feel sad at barbecues?

They get to meet their old flames!

Six down, ninety-five to go...
Comedy is hard work.

thebigbang

Why do hamburgers not like working overtime?

Because it's a grind!
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

thebigbang

What do you call a cheeseburger that's been in the sun too long?


A patty melt!
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

thebigbang

What did the hamburger say after visiting the herb garden?


I sausage!
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

thebigbang

Why did the cow refuse to get on the truck?

Beef me!
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

thebigbang

Why did the vampire have hamburger for dinner?


He didn't want to take a chance on the stake!
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

thebigbang

Someone.  Stop me.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeze

Stop me.
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

thebigbang

Why was the hamburger banned from network tv?

Her buns were too hot!
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

EC

ahaaaahaha.  

It's so nice to see everyone getting involved.  ;)


thebigbang

Did you know hamburger was descended from royalty?

It comes from Sirloin!
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

EC

Do you actually have the book, too?