At Work Flatulence

[peanut butter puddin surprise]

I guess lunch got the better of my coworker, who walked into my office to retrieve something from the printer...as he was leaving, there's this "rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip" sound!  I'm like, no way, he just shit his pants!  And the smell...something like bean curd and soiled socks, baked in a catcher's mitt.  What gives?! Do you all have a "workplace farter" in your midst?

[whothrewthecake]

even worse, i'm around kids all day. so those are really bad, and you REALLY can't say anything. i mean, you can't point it out and embarrass the kid. but damn.

[dragonboy]

Me too...
One of my kids farted the other day & blamed it on her Mum.
Her mum went ape-shit!
Not sure if she angry because her daughter (10 years old) farted in public or becasue she wanted to clarify that it wasn't her!  ;D

[Elizanne33]

Kids are so funny, they have no shame! In my first grade class last year, I had a girl who farted a lot. I found out during the first lesson I ever taught. I had the class sitting on the reading carpet and we were doing a phonics lesson. The kids were really attentive and I thought I was doing so well, then this little girl just let one rip. Of course the class thought it was hilarious, actually I did too, but I couldn't laugh because I was the teacher. I managed to get the kids focused again on our lesson, and the little girl farted again. This time everyone around her started holding their noses. It wasn't until the third time she farted that she decided she needed to go to the bathroom. She continued farting rather often for the rest of the year.

[primushead]

It's so easy to let one rip in the food service industry.  All of the kitchens smell like so many things anyway, noone could ever pick up the fart scent. :)

[peanut butter puddin surprise]

this thread is hilarious!  it's so funny, because i've heard my whole life that "girls don't fart" yet most of the replies here are about girls!

[tinyorangepig]

i may be known to let one rip from time to time at the desk.  only when no one is around, and in case someone walks in i just blame it on the sewer.  "damn sewer musta backed up again, it smells in here"

i have heard stories of people farting at work while in conversation with someone in a cube.  what are you supposed to do?

i have heard stories of the farter saying "excuse me" like its a burb, or something, but being the grown-up that I am, i prefer to think that the proper response is to die laughing.

great thread.

[antoniostrohs]

Don't know if you ever heard of the term "crop dusting" when talking about passing gas.Its when someone does a walk by and a few seconds later you smell something,Thats when you been "crop dusted". ;D

[peanut butter puddin surprise]

or, if you're in bed with yer honey, you can pull a "dutch oven" by lettin' one rip and quickly pulling the sheets over yer honey's head so they are stuck with the emissions...as in being in a "dutch oven"... ;)

[antoniostrohs]

Those are "SBD",which is "Silent But Deadly".Most guys fire warning shots.

[ratsprayer]

Those are "SBD",which is "Silent But Deadly".Most guys fire warning shots.

the term 'silent but violent' sometimes applies as well.

[EC]

Oh my god.

Oddly enough, a good friend of mine was on a first date with a girl that he totally liked, and they were playing monopoly on his bed, and she totally let one go, and that's when he said he knew he loved her. :)

hahaha.

[EC]

or, if you're in bed with yer honey, you can pull a "dutch oven" by lettin' one rip and quickly pulling the sheets over yer honey's head so they are stuck with the emissions...as in being in a "dutch oven"... ;)

But that's only on special occasions, like an anniversary, or your wedding night, right? ;)

[peanut butter puddin surprise]

oh no, you can dutch oven anytime...:)

[CC]

so how did a sheetfart actually become a dutch oven?
the dutch don't fart in their ovens. I think.

[peanut butter puddin surprise]

only now do I realize the implications of my comment....so sorry!

this is what I mean by a dutch oven...

[CC]

I was just curious ;D

think I get it now

[tomEisenbraun]

i guess since, the way a dutch oven works is you dig a hole in the coals of a fire, slap that sucker in, and then cover it with more coals, and it heats whatevers in it that way. it's pretty much the same idea, except with flatulence and methane.

[peanut butter puddin surprise]

I was just curious ;D

think I get it now

and here I thought I had inadvertently offended an entire nation of people with my backward ass American comments... ;)

[EC]

That is fucking hilarious.  I didn't even think of that.  Holy crap.  :)