would you pass the test?

[ali]

there's a lot of debate and fuss going on here about the planned introduction of an australian "citizenship" test - designed to make sure immigrants to oz share the same values and "understand what it means to be australian".... which i actually find quite an offensive suggestion, as we are all migrants here when it comes down to it - our culture is based on multiculturality and all the fantastic things that means/brings with it.

so i received today a copy of the "test" (doctored, but it looks pretty authentic... someones gone to a lot of trouble). so.... the question is, would YOU pass this test? do you have the necessary where-with-all to become an australian??

a selection... and no cheating!

1. do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin, of the tem "died in the arse"? Explain the meaning:...........

3. are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?

7. I've had a gutful and I can't be farked. Discuss

8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?

15. When you go to a bring-your-own-meat Barbie, can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?

16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?

17. do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an esky or ugg boots?

18. is it possible to prang a car while doing circle work?

22. what do the phrases "sinkin piss at a mates joint" and "gettin paralytic" mean?

enjoy :D

[dragonboy]

7. means I've had enough & can't be bothered?

22. means drinking @ a mates house & getting drunk!

[sweatboard]

. do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin, of the tem "died in the arse"? Explain the meaning:...........

Constipated.

3. are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?

chuck a sickie - Vomit
chuck a spaz - ejaculate
chuck a U-ey - U-Turn

So No!

7. I've had a gutful and I can't be farked. Discuss

You ate way to much to want to have sex.

8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?

This is when someone pulls your underware up your ass crack friends.  Yes, I've had one but never the pleasure of being the giver.  Let me know if you're interested we might be able to arrange something.

15. When you go to a bring-your-own-meat Barbie, can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?

No but you can beat both your meat and your friends, at the same time if you like......just as long as you are tenderizing.

16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?

Beet

17. do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an esky or ugg boots?

Lawn Mower - Yes
Thongs - Yes, they are purple (also known as: Mr. Brian's Purple Panties)
esky - I don't play sports
ugg boots - I don't think so

18. is it possible to prang a car while doing circle work?

as long as your not using both hands to drive.

22. what do the phrases "sinkin piss at a mates joint" and "gettin paralytic" mean?

a. flushing the toilet at a friends house
b. dancing really well


How did I do?  Can I be an Austrian?

[ali]

brian you can be austrian all you like.... i think their only requirement may be liking beer and slight tendency to enjoy lederhosen.... ;)

died in the arse doesn't mean constipated.
chuck a sickie & chuck a spaz you got wrong too...

>You ate way to much to want to have sex. nup. guess again
>Beet. we call it beetroot here, just to be 100% bonza
>esky - I don't play sports. neither do i but i still own an esky
>a. flushing the toilet at a friends house
b. dancing really well ......... uh. no.

keep guessing! two points for mr chen! welcome to oz maaaaate!

[sweatboard]

Wait, didn't Cutting Crew sing that song that goes-


OOOOOh, I just died in the arse tonight.......
It must have been something I ate

I thought for sure that song was about being constipated.

Hey Ali, What In The Hell Is A VEGEMITE SANDWICH?  I've always wanted to know.

I can't believe no questions about Kangaroos.  

[ali]

died in the arse (here anyway) means something that sort of falls flat before its finished - if you had an awesome plan that fizzled out, or if your sporting team choked towards the end of the game after leading for most of the game.... bit hard to define exactly. as far as i know you could pretty much apply it to anything - movies, concerts, nights out on the town, a date....

vegemite sandwich? almost as close to a national food as we have..... (australia's actually quite crap - no national food, no national costume...)

take two slices of (preferably gutless whitebread), marg, and vegemite.  traditionally spread the vegemite quite thick, but i personally don't. interesting variation is the vegemite sanga with cheese. or even tomato. mmmm. can't beat vegemite on toast though.

and don't ever let ANYONE tell you that marmite or bovril or promite are "better" than vegemite.... pale imitations of the true blue genuine article.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vegemite

(particularly like the part about V being banned in the US...)

[sweatboard]

An Esky, is it any of these things?

[sweatboard]

From your description it sounds like I may have unlocked they mystery as to the orgin of the term "died in the arse"

[ali]

geez brian, you've been watching crocodile dundee too much!!! we have moved past the bowie knife and (apart from steve irwin, and also the bushtukka man maybe) the khakhi shorts....

an esky.... vital part of any barbie, trip to the beach, party, or if you're running short of chairs/tables...





even better is the version that has built-in cupholders in the top of the lid when closed!!

[sweatboard]

I don't see any Fosters in that cooler, what's the deal?

Plus what's the deal with the size of those cans?

You people must drink beer really fast, those cans are Friggin GIGANTIC.  I got one this one time and the beer was room temperature before I was even half through with it.


Yeah, your the only Bonzo (?) I know besides Crocodile Dundee and Steve Irwin and I always picture you dressed up like them.

[ali]

real australians don't drink fosters, i thought everyone knew that!!!

bonzo?? no john bonham here dude..... :0