Depression

[tomEisenbraun]

Not a light topic, I know, but I'm having trouble with my head and reading symptoms of it online can become a big burden, as symptoms can really be anything. If anyone of you guys here have dealt with it before and would be comfortable sharing about it, I would be more than thankful, as I'm somewhat scared of doctors and the idea of medicine on this one because I don't know anything about it. If you don't want to post anything up and would care to PM, I'd be certainly cool with that, too. I'm just a little worried and out of myself and don't know what to read or who to talk to or how to talk to anyone about it, because I think a lot of the people I'd talk to about it wouldn't know how to take me for asking about it, and I don't want to feel weird or make them think I'm weird for asking about it. Sorry if I'm a little scatter-brained, I just have been stuck inside my own head a lot trying to figure this one out with relatively nobody to ask about it.

Thanks you guys.
Tom

[dragonboy]

Sorry to hear you're not feeling quite right Tom.

Not sure about depressed but I've definitely been feeling a little 'lost' recently myself.
It's hard work living here sometimes. I miss home but I don't know where home is anymore. I've lived here for more than 7 years now so this should feel like home but it doesn't. Hopefully it's just a phase but I don't seem as happy as I once was...maybe that's just married life in your 30s?

No advice to offer unfortunately other than to remind that it does help to talk. If you're not keen on doctors then do you have anything like the samaritans in the US?

http://www.samaritans.org/

Hope things get better soon  :)

[ycartrob]

Pretty sure UGA has a counseling dept. I'd start there. And excercise. Excercise will not solve your problems, but it's a key component to starting the journey.

I have been reading Parker Palmer lately and dabbling with the idea of Quakerism. I think you can relate to this piece on some level. I often read it when I'm down or confused. Peace.

http://www.yesmagazine.org/article.asp?ID=419

[tomEisenbraun]

See that's just the thing, is that everybody gets down sometimes, right? I do, too, I think. But my lady tells me I do it a lot, and though it's not everyday, I feel like I've been this way most of my life. I can remember days from here til forever ago when I've been sort of down, quiet, pensive, and not too horribly up about things. Not that thinking is a bad thing, but being down about things is bad. I think being in a new place, and not having a firm grip on who God is, and being in transition to a new school and being unemployed and not knowing where I'm going to be employed... all these things stack up. I don't know if they weigh really heavy on me, and I'd like to think I'm just an average person, but I don't honestly know how anyone else stacks up, and I don't want to weird out or scare the people that mean the most to me by talking about stuff like this. I don't want to be someone they don't know, but it'll happen if I just shut up, because  they won't know what's going through my head, and it'll happen if I talk about it, because I'll turn out to be someone I haven't been telling them about. And neither way sounds very exciting. What do you do about that?

[ali]

sorry to hear that you're a bit out of sorts, or just feeling a bit lost tom, that's not a great feeling....

for starters i would suggest not necessarily spending too long reading symptom information on the net. it's an invaluable tool, but in terms of actually realistically giving you the support and information you need, i would say actually talking things through with someone is going to go a hell of a lot further to giving you some kind of peace of mind. (personally speaking, i have a weird eye condition that suddenly appeared, so i had a look on the net and got freaked out by the association of what i've got with detached retinas etc... really not helpful. at all)

if you have someone you can talk to (or email... feel free if you want to offload or write about stuff) i generally find it really really helps. just to actually verbalise the things you're feeling, the stuff that's going through your head etc. i've had a pretty hard year this year, and the problem i have is the more you keep stuff inside, the harder it all gets, the more murky the whole situation seems to you.

everyone has "down" periods, as far as i'm concerned that's just part of being normal and human. everyone has times where they feel lost, don't know where life is going... so please don't think that you can't share because the other person won't understand. even if they haven't been in the same situation, we can all empathise (i would hope) with what you're feeling.

one piece of advice i would offer (apart from the sharing thing... i can't tell you how much it helps to be able to vent all this stuff from time to time) is to try and keep positive about stuff. even if things do seem a bit dire at the moment, things do generally tend to work themselves out. it may take a while, but you will work these things out. and it probably won't all get sorted out at the one time (the god issue may take some time i imagine... but thinking about that, surely with a question of that magnitude, the process and journey of dealing with that fairly fundamental question SHOULD take time. i'm sure working it out will take you to some really fascinating, interesting places... but i really really don't think that's an instant answer question - some people spend their entire lives working it through).

so hang in there with it, seriously feel free to email me if you want to... we're all here for ya mate.

[megisnotreal]

hey, tom. i have been there, as i am sure we all have.

i had a really, really hard time about three years ago. i ignored what was going on for a long time, and i ended up in the hospital.

i guess what i am saying is, i have made it through the hard part. i am here for you if you ever need to talk. please send me an email if you need anything.

[Angry Ewok]

In this day and age, it's impossible for a soul searching person like yourself not to get depressed from time to time. From top to bottom, we all have plenty of reasons to depressed.

Reading the Old Testament might not work for most people suffering from depression, but I found Ecclesiastes strangely helpful in my darker days. The Bible was what I needed, because despite the doom and gloom, there was an underlying reassurance and promise behind everything.

[EC]

i'm gonna send you an email, t.
but one thing i thought worth mentioning, is usually, if you feel like something's going on, something's going on.  that's worth noting.

dang. it. i shouldn't have made you read franny and zooey, what a dick.

[LizKing531]

Like EC said - if you feel like it is  -  it is.  If you feel like you might need some help to get back on track - do it - do it now.

[Taterbug]

This might help you or not. But for what it's worth. Whenever I get depressed about something ( and alot of times it's out of my control ) or just feel like  hammered horseshit and nothing is going my way. I will reflect about all the things I have to be thankful for.  Over the years I've grown to really despise  sunday nites because of the thought of having to go to work the next day. My remedy for that was to just say fuck it,  why am I beating myself up ?  I apply  110 % of myself to everything I do, sometimes it's overkill and sometimes I fall short and I can't erase my failures, I just learn from it and move on.
I would hope that you would seek counseling to be sure it's not a medical condition, but beware of the happy pills,  I'm not a big advocate of paxil & prozac, For some people  they work, but I would try Diet, exercise and 8 hours sleep first.  Just remember it's tough and stressful  to be a college student in todays world and I think what your experiencing is normal.  I don't know you from Adam but I have read you posts and you seem to me to be a well grounded, thoughtful individual with a VERY bright future who can articulate  thoughts to print in a outstanding way.  I think sometimes we loose track of who we are because of who we want to be.  

[sweatboard]

 I would suggest takeing a day, or a week, or some amount of time and breaking your routine.  Plan on doing something you would never really think of doing, and DO IT!!!  I think sometimes we all feel crushed by what is around us.  

[EAZYE]

Don't know you personally Tom but you from your posts you seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders.  I would stay away from medication, it's never helped any of the people I knew that were prescribed it.  That being said take it easy and one day at a time.  Hope things turn out for the better.  ;)

[tomEisenbraun]

Thanks so much guys. This sure does wind up being confusing when you try it figure it all out, doesn't it? Thanks for the support and thoughts and emails and ideas on the state of things. I think stuff is just stressful, and you have to learn how to manage, and my head isn't doing it's hottest at it right now. I'm going to watch it like a hawk and see what it does over the next couple weeks and see if working to improve the things that stress me out won't help it. i think relieving the stressors through changing them positively will have a huge impact, but we shall see. if this will be the kind of thing that'll happen when things get out of my control though (and quite often, too) then it's a very different story.

[sweatboard]

Tom, you have a whole lot going for you.  I know sometimes that can be the most arbitrary thing to hear, but everyone feels totally fucked up at times......  

Take solace and resume being yourself.