The Daily Hamburger Joke

Started by EC, Aug 06, 2005, 07:21 AM

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EC

Aug 06, 2005, 07:21 AM
A great gift from the elders was bestowed upon me yesterday.  It was given to me to use as a source of profundity and deep comfort.  I have decided to share the teachings of this book with the world, here.  I am hoping that I remember to do this.

The book is called "101 Hamburger Jokes ...meaty jokes to be devoured with relish", written by Phil Hirsch.

"Is there a way to make a hamburger do the Hula [dance]?

Sure, order a burger and shake!"

I trust that you all will use this with care - for good, and not for evil.

EC

#1
Aug 07, 2005, 06:12 AM
What did the hamburger say when it pleaded "not guilty"?

I've been flamed!


(I believe it's worth noting, for further study, that each punchline is accentuated with an exclamation point.  In all 101 of the jokes.  Coincidence?  I think not.)

SmoothOprtr

#2
Aug 07, 2005, 02:14 PM
It's your enthusiasm that really sells these jokes.  I just don't think I could possibly replicate if I attempted a retelling...
The only two things in life that make it worth livin Is guitars that tune good and firm feelin women

EC

#3
Aug 08, 2005, 06:39 AM
What do meatballs say about mystery stories?

The pot thickens!

EC

#4
Aug 09, 2005, 06:33 AM
How do we know burgers love young people?

They're pro-teen!

EC

#5
Aug 10, 2005, 07:15 AM
How do you make a meat loaf?

Send it on a vacation!

whothrewthecake

#6
Aug 10, 2005, 10:34 AM
in my opinion, these keep getting better and better.
keep 'em coming.

EC

#7
Aug 10, 2005, 11:02 AM
Quotein my opinion, these keep getting better and better.
keep 'em coming.
"If I can reach one person, just one..." :)

EC

#8
Aug 11, 2005, 07:41 AM
Why do hamburgers feel sad at barbecues?

They get to meet their old flames!

Chills

#9
Aug 11, 2005, 07:46 AM
QuoteWhy do hamburgers feel sad at barbecues?

They get to meet their old flames!

Six down, ninety-five to go...
Comedy is hard work.

thebigbang

#10
Aug 11, 2005, 12:27 PM
Why do hamburgers not like working overtime?

Because it's a grind!
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

thebigbang

#11
Aug 11, 2005, 12:28 PM
What do you call a cheeseburger that's been in the sun too long?


A patty melt!
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

thebigbang

#12
Aug 11, 2005, 12:32 PM
What did the hamburger say after visiting the herb garden?


I sausage!
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

thebigbang

#13
Aug 11, 2005, 12:33 PM
Why did the cow refuse to get on the truck?

Beef me!
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

thebigbang

#14
Aug 11, 2005, 12:36 PM
Why did the vampire have hamburger for dinner?


He didn't want to take a chance on the stake!
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

thebigbang

#15
Aug 11, 2005, 12:37 PM
Someone.  Stop me.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeze

Stop me.
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

thebigbang

#16
Aug 11, 2005, 12:39 PM
Why was the hamburger banned from network tv?

Her buns were too hot!
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

EC

#17
Aug 11, 2005, 12:40 PM
ahaaaahaha.  

It's so nice to see everyone getting involved.  ;)

thebigbang

#18
Aug 11, 2005, 12:46 PM
Did you know hamburger was descended from royalty?

It comes from Sirloin!
Just a Heartbreakin' Man, doing a Victory Dance with Shaky Knees, along a Bermuda Highway

EC

#19
Aug 11, 2005, 12:50 PM
Do you actually have the book, too?
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