19 years ago yesterday...

[ycartrob]

19 years ago yesterday, November 19th, I had my last beer at the Jacksonville FL airport before reporting to A&D Rehab at the Naval Air Station (I was in the Coast Guard). I drank the entire weekend (plus the entire decade before that) before departing from Boston on Sunday They had a couple of farewell parties for me that weekend (I spilled an entire blender of daquiris on my friends shitzu) and I went to the old Boston Garden for a Bruins game. I put down 4 beers during my layover in ATL, and was working on my 2nd in Jacksonville, starting to feel right and get things rolling, when I thought I should call for my ride. They came and picked me up. I registered in to the program when they asked me when my last drink was and I said about an hour ago, so they sent me over to the infirmary for observation. They told me to undress and the doc took me in a back room and they drew blood for BAC. He gave me about 4 or 5 sobriety tests (this wasn't some cop on a dark back road at 3 AM, this was a doctor in a well lit observation room) and deemed me sober and I could leave as soon as he got BAC results. So, as I was getting my clothes back on, the doc came in and said they were keeping me; my BAC was .28. Pretty interesting that I passed every sobriety test they gave me when I was .28. The next morning at 6 AM they drew blood and I was still .16. The word "pickled" came to mind.
I was 98% sure I was in the right place... The guy who had "set the record" with a 3.3 tried to talk smack about having a higher BAC and someone mentioned to him that they had to carry him in b/c he was passed out. He backed down.

So, November 20th was my first day to be clean and sober, and I have been that way ever since. There was a time towards the end that I did not give a shit if I lived or died, and thought I would probably die, I didn't really care. Apathy is a bitch.

Music gets me through the harder times. It always has. Thanks to you all for being in this MMJ community and sharing the love. I sometimes am loud, ignorant, stupid and hard headed, but I am trying. You try to quit drinking and smoking in the same lifetime and tell me how rosey life is. I am actually as meek and tender as a warm, fuzzy Easter bunny laying on satin sheets in a field near a waterfall listening to Kenny G and sucking on a gum drop.

I am practicing peace. Practicing. Patience. Peace. Presence. In. Out. Safe. And know when to rock.

oh yeah, almost forgot,

[Angry Ewok]

I'm glad you shared this with us - hell of a victory - congratulations, man.

[kydiddle]

Wow. Maybe you'll inspire other people who need it.

Congratulations.

[corey]

Congrats, Tracy. That's quite remarkable. You should be proud.

Also, I see Sparky!

[Penny Lane]

wow, tracy--you've lived some life. congrats on 19 years--i am sure you are an inspiration to a lot of people (or should be).

is there a 19 year pin you get for this? there's gotta be something...

[ycartrob]

is there a 19 year pin you get for this? there's gotta be something...

I'm gonna pin it to my stomach!

[ycartrob]

Also, I see Sparky!

yes, he's pretending he's asleep, but he's got my back (as does Daisy)

[ItStillJaimoe]

Well done Tracy. You are a stronger man than I.

[Killgies]

congratz on 19 years

[pawpaw]

19 years is a wonderful accomplishment Tracy! My sister just made it to 10 years of sobriety, and we're all so proud of her and the decisions she's made in her life during the past decade. It really is great that you feel comfortable enough to share your experiences here - yours just might be the voice that gets through to someone else currently having substance abuse problems.

Congrats Tracy  :)

[BH]

Quitter.




Ha, just busting your balls.  You wouldn't want it any other way would you?

Seriously, congrats.  That takes a strong man.   Hopefully we will meet someday so I can buy you a root beer.  

[vespachick]

Tracy, You Rule!  Congratulations on 19 long years.  I know it can be tough.  My boss is just celebrating 2 years and I see him sometimes struggle but he's doing great!

I'm glad you didn't decide to die back then because I love your being here.   :-* :-*

[tenn]

"sober: Son of a Bitch, Everything's Real!"

[Taterbug]

Thats awesome Tracy.  
My dad was a director of a halfway house in Wisconsin. He was also in recovery.  When he passed away on labor day I told him  he won.

He use to walk around the sober house wearing a shirt that said
REHAB is for quitters.  

Your  a special person that has accomplished something not many have and I commend you for that.  

[FACE]

HI TRACY!
:)

[mjkoehler]

Congrats Tracy. You are a better man then I. Next time I have ribs, I'll toast to your honor.

[capt. scotty]

congrats tracy

id send you my asian hooker chun li to show you a good time, but shes pretty booked this week

i drink more than i probably should, and have cut back, but im almost positive i couldnt go 19 years. you should call guinness (book or records) in a few years and see where you stand

[getinthevan]

Tracy, I don't know that pinning those ribs to your stomach would be safe.  I would suggest eating them instead.  

But seriously, thats a huge accomplishment, congratulations!

[bowl of soup]

I probably should have made a similar choice 19 years ago, but let's just say that I went in a different direction.  That takes amazing strength - congrats.

[aMillionDreams]

Good for you, Tracy. My best friend from college is 6 years sober.  It takes a strong person to beat that demon.  His father, brother, and mother have not been able to stay on the wagon (I think that's the expression).  Stay strong.