Real questions about Vancouver 2010 Olympics

[Jaimoe]

This is an email filtering around CTV, the TV network I work for that'll be carrying the 2010 Olympics. Some cringe-worthy questions:

 

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an
International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!
 
  Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants  grow? ( England )
  A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and  watch them die.
 
 
 
 Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
  A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
 

 Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto , can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
  A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water
 
 
 
 Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
  A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
 
 
 
 Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me
a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
  A: What did your last slave die from ?
 
 
 
 Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
  A: Africa is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Canada is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo
racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary . Come naked.
 
 
 
 Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
  A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.
 
 
 
 Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
  A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
 
 
 
 Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
  A: Austria is that quaint little country bordering Germany , which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in
 Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
 
 
 
 Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
  A: No, we don't stink.
 
 
 
 Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
  A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
 
 
 
 Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
  A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
 
 
 
 Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
  A: Only at Thanksgiving.
 
 
 
 Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all
year round? ( Germany )
  A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk
is illegal.
 
 
 
 Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget
its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
  A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying
yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
 
 
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
  A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

[getinthevan]

Some people should really think before they speak, but it makes for a much more entertaining read when they don't.  

[Jaimoe]

Some people should really think before they speak, but it makes for a much more entertaining read when they don't.  

The fact that these were email questions makes it all the more scary... and funny.

[st. john]

the english often ask me if we speak canadianese in canada.  i'v also been told that i speak excellent english for a canadian. tempting.

[Jaimoe]

the english often ask me if we speak canadianese in canada.  i'v also been told that i speak excellent english for a canadian. tempting.

Folks in New Brunswick speak English?  :)

I assume you are from St. John, hence your name?

[st. john]

willowdale but it's been along long time -  enough for the department of foreign affairs suggesting that i get in touch more often.  ;D

[meggha]

thank you so much jaimoe!
i really needed a good laugh today.  ;D
I can't wait to visit Vancouver in a few weeks, now that I know Canadians do have a sense of humor.    ;)

[Jaimoe]

thank you so much jaimoe!
i really needed a good laugh today.  ;D
I can't wait to visit Vancouver in a few weeks, now that I know Canadians do have a sense of humor.    ;)

Make sure to try and make it over to Vancouver Island and visit the lovely city of Victoria.

[.Walt]

 ;D

K post that video again.

[st. john]

canadian scenery as almost no one sees.- use iplayer to view episodes.

http://www.itv.com/PressCentre/BillyConnollyJourneyToTheEdgeOfTheWorld/Ep1Wk08/default.html

http://www.audleytravel.com/Destinations/Canada-Alaska-and-The-Arctic/Features/Journey-to-the-Edge-of-the-World/Introduction.aspx

and u can't miss banff.
montreal jazz festival.

[meggha]

Jaimoe,
would you mind if i shared this Q & A with some friends/family in a mass email? it's got me laughing so much, and i think my geography-crazed family would really love it.
again, thanks for sharing. i really can't wait to go to vancouver. i just ran into a friend of mine who's been living there for a few years.  i hear nothing but good things from him, and i look forward to exploring the city with him in a couple weeks.
:)

[Jaimoe]

Jaimoe,
would you mind if i shared this Q & A with some friends/family in a mass email? it's got me laughing so much, and i think my geography-crazed family would really love it.
again, thanks for sharing. i really can't wait to go to vancouver. i just ran into a friend of mine who's been living there for a few years.  i hear nothing but good things from him, and i look forward to exploring the city with him in a couple weeks.
:)

I'd really enjoy doing a Q&A, but keep in mind that I'm not from Vancouver and live 3000 miles away (in Toronto, but pronounced "Tronno" to most Torontonians).