Current Complaints

[FarmerYoda]

school starts in a week :(

[BH]

school starts in a week :(

awful :(

[FarmerYoda]

 :D

[Meddle]

school is has begun... :-[

[tomEisenbraun]

i'm still pretty twitter-paited, though...

[MMJ_fanatic]

i'm still pretty twitter-paited, though...

OMFG!  I thought my old girlfriend was the only one who used "twitter-paited"!  Course whenever she said it, it was different for me...

[ali]

what does twitter-paited mean??

much as i was looking forward to seeing okkervil river.... that's now not going to happen. friday's show sold out, with a new show on tonight, but i'm going to have to work

bugger

officially completely crapped off now  >:(

[ratsprayer]

okkervil river shows must be bad luck.  i had tickets to see them last year when they opened for the decemberists, but my son got really sick the night before and couldn't justify taking him 8 hours out of state to stay in a hotel whilst i went to the show.  

[tomEisenbraun]

what does twitter-paited mean??

Main Entry:  twitterpated
Part of Speech:  adjective
Definition:  confused by affection or infatuation

basically, kind of like this "when spring rolls around, i always get all twitterpated." kind of like where you just wanna get really lovey-dovey, but you don't have anybody. it's like crushing for a crushing. wanting someone to want you. needing someone to need me. loving someone to love me. hell i'd beg someone to beg me...

but alas, when you want to give love and be loved in return, and there is no such lady around for to be directing such amorosity towards, such a time is whence one becomes twitterpated.

[FarmerYoda]

my calves hurt  >:(

...wait... is it spelled CALVES? or is that just the baby cow?

[Tree]

much as i was looking forward to seeing okkervil river.... that's now not going to happen. friday's show sold out, with a new show on tonight, but i'm going to have to work

bugger

officially completely crapped off now  >:(

Oh that really sucks! You´re missing a great show...
A Okkervil RIver show that´s sold out!?..That would never happen in Germany. When i saw them this year there were only about 100 people in the audience.

[MMJ_fanatic]

amorosity

Amorosity?  wait a minute there's no such word--whaddya tryin' to pull off there Eisenbraun ;D

[Easy Morning Rebel]

Bloody cough. I hate it!
On the bright side though, the most of my other cold is gone. :)

[FarmerYoda]

:( last night i had a "back to school dream"... it was terrible! i was in a class with people I had never seen before and my teacher was this asshole who works at Barnes and Noble down the street... and I went to the bathroom and missed the directions so he failed me for the year
Then, I decided it'd be fun to go to the movies with my friends... I picked up a pack of ciggarrettes, and instead they were q-tips  laced with cocaine or something and we went driving instead fo watching the movie and a husky smelled it and the police came.

what the fuck!?

[tomEisenbraun]

it's 4:42am and I'm just now hitting the sack. guess I'm not gonna bother with American Lit again tomorrow. I need to work on this. it's stupid to be up this late over a 2-page paper. i need some help with scheduling, i think...

[FarmerYoda]

i have HOMEWORK! :(

[tomEisenbraun]

try college, hun.

as a straight male, am i allowed to use that term? hun?

hmmmm

[FarmerYoda]

try college, hun.

as a straight male, am i allowed to use that term? hun?

hmmmm

I think since I'm about five years younger than you, yes.

And fuck college! I only say that 'cos I'm very very stressed out about it, so I will use this context to VENT. First of all, I'd like to say that before I start this rant that I really don't think so highly of myself. This'll probably put a lot of emphasis on my attitude and my personality and how pretentious I seem. But really, I apologize for thsi in advance.
So this is my complaint: I'm stuck, basically, in highschool and I don't know what I want to do for college or afterwards. I've known this for awhile, and it's basically because I'm good at a lot of things. (This is the part where you start to see my big head. But it's not that big. Not preferably admittidly, anyway..what?) I like art, i like to draw paint whatever, i like photography, i like writing i ilke making music and I like doing math... and I'm actually sorta good at everything I just listed... And it sucks. Which is a selfihs thing to say. But it actually does. My brother is a senior this year and he has hiis heart set on being a journalist or a cultural anthropologist - or both combined (if he gets into the NYU "pick your own major" school thingy)... It's much easier for him because he's not as good at things, I'm certainly not complainging that I'm good at stuff and it all comes naturally. I'm really not. I just think it would be easier. But I like all the shit I do.

And I started to think in the 8th grade that I'd begin to focus on more individual things as I got more into hgihschool and that would narrow it down for me a little.  I'd begin to see what I really liked and it would only get easier. But at this point, I still don't have any idea what I want and I guess maybe I shouldn't yet.  If I were to go on to be a musician, I'd feel like I was just wasting the other talents I have. PLus, what're the chances that I'd grow up to be a musician? So drop it, right? NO! because I love it! I love maknig music! But if I were to study erm... anything in the writing field then I'd waste my musical talents! and it's liket hat for everything. Life is hard. And I'm getting stressed already. I'm fifteen years old and I'm already a nervous wreck. It's not good. I love the maths, too, they all make sense to me. And I love doing them, but I don't want to focus on fucking maths my whole life. I dont' want to teach because I woulnd't get to explore everything. I don't even have any idea what I'm even saying right now. It all seems to just be a big blur. I don't know what makes sense adn I don't know if I should be as confused as I am. But I am, nevertheless and I'm worried. Worried! I don't know what to do. It's stressful, already.

Also, right now all the shit I do seems pointless.  Just like how I row. I hate rowing,. but i do it 'cos it "looks good" fu ck that! i'm no athlete! I don't want to be a fucking professional ROWER when I grow up! Why do colelges need to see that shit? i'm good in school and I like doing what I ilke. But that's not enoguh. This whole system is retarded. IT should change. But it wont.

I don't know what I want, and I don't know what to do.  I just don't really understand anythign right now. And maybe it'll all come in time.

And I knew it was going to be like this. And it's only going to get worse. Just basically, when did all you know what this is? Am I just getting too caught up in myself for my own good?  Thank  you and sorry, again...

[megisnotreal]

My granddad is dying from complications related to Agent Orange exposure.

[tomEisenbraun]

Ah, seems ike you've stumbled onto this point in ife a little earlier than a lot of people normally do. here's the thing, though. to pick one thing, you don't necessarily waste the other.

I want to be a high school English teacher when i get out of college. I guess that's a pretty specific thing and I ought to have an outlet into a job relatively right out of the gate. Doesn't sound so bad, eh? But what'll I be doing with my music? Don't I still have dreams of making an impact on people, or at least creating something no one's ever really said before? sure I do, which is why I'm immersed in it most of the time. It's just not part of my profession.

I guess that's a big realization you need to make, but you've got to decide what you would be happiest doing for money, and then learn how to apply yourself to all the other things outside of your job. Your job is not and ought to never be your life, though it is a very important aspect of it. If you can teach math, and you love music, bring music into it. Ridiculous math-rock, time signatures and whatnot. Make it fun and understandable. Or if you teach music, do the opposite, bring math into it to help out understanding of why certain things work certain ways.

Or don't teach. Combine everything you love. It seems like you've gto a good brain for comprehension, so start understanding how all of those things fit together. Music, math and art are all so closely knot that you can have a hey-dey delving deeper into philosphies and understandings that are far beneath the surface. The kinds of things that tie it all together in ways that we have a very hard time wrapping our heads around.

You've got something set out for you. You won't have it figured at age 15, certainly, but at least you know what you love. Hell, you won't have it figured out at 18 either (where I'm at) but you'll at least start to understand the direction. Thing about life is, it's all about constant growth. You'll never know everything, and you'll never entirely know where you're going, but if you're working to show people things, or to help them out with what you do best (that's technically what work out to be about), then you're getting towards the right track.

I don't know if you're Christian or not, but there's this passage in Phillipians 4 that goes like this:

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

and it may sound absurd, but the only true peace I've ever gotten when I've been worried or frustrated as strongly as it sounds like you are has come from God. our minds, as big and wonderful as they can be, are still completely insufficient at most times, and espeically in matters like these. because we can't know the future, we have to have peace with the decisions we make, and we have to let the worry about the future go. because, simply enough, we won't figure it out. we only know life as we are living it, and we can only hope for the future.

i hope that helped to some extent.