Over 40 thread

[zanjam]

So you don't necessarily need to be over 40, but this is a thread to talk about shit you have to deal with when you're a little bit older.  Kid crap, throwing your back out, the inability to fly all over the country for every MMJ show, etc.  Grown up Kumbaya.  Complaints and happy thoughts welcome equally!   

[Tracy 2112]

I ain't complainin' but i can fall asleep in 3 minutes no matter where I am or what time it is.

[Jaimoe]

I'm fitter at 44 than I was at 34; tougher too. Age is just a number, but many get old in their late 20s, which is pathetic.

[tdb810]

Ok, so I am 42, and I enjoyed turning 40, it's the numbers after that which haven't been as exciting! I do feel like there is a certain shift that happens, and a maturity, that has been really great for my mental state.  I just worry a lot less about things that used to keep me up at night - perhaps because of that 3 minute thing that Tracy mentioned. 

The one thing that is really annoying me is the fitness stuff.  I have always been pretty fit.  I won't go as far as to say that I have been "athletic" but I have worked out consistently since my early 20s.  I think I hit a fitness high in my mid-late 30's, and I definitely enjoyed the results of that.  In the past year or two, and I have complained about this here before, I haven't had the same amount of stamina, nor have I seen the results.  I have found it very difficult not only to drop a few lbs, but also to stay motivated.  I still work out about 3 times a week, but with much less gusto.  For some reason, I haven't been able to get my "mojo" back.  Do I need some sort of challenge?  Perhaps.  I have tried that, but I am still struggling....so that's my only complaint. 

Other than that, life is great! Being a working Mom has definitely been a challenge, especially living in a town where (oddly) most of the women stay home.  As my daughter gets older (4th grade now) more and more women seem to be going back to work.  When she was in preschool and the younger grades, it was tough.  The guilt trips I would get for not being able to be at all of the PTA and school activities, oy! Now though, I am glad for having gone through it, and I think my daughter has a good appreciation of what I do, and the reasons why women choose to have careers and also have children.  I think when she was younger it was sort of confusing for her, simply because 90% of her peers had their Moms at home. 


Ok, so how does this band fit in with my life at 42?  It has been great that my husband and I have been able to share our love of MMJ.  We have both always been avid music fans, with slightly different tastes, but this is something that we get to do together.  There are definitely times when it makes it a little more difficult to get to shows because it's both of us, so having to set up child care and all that jazz, but it is always worth it.  The band ALWAYS delivers in such a huge way, that despite all of our cobbling-together of childcare, we always feel so glad and fortunate that we could make it.  The T5 week was a great example of that, and even though we were totally wiped out by the end of the week, it will always be a highlight of our lives.  This time for Port Chester, we are sort of waiting to see what happens that week.  We are both doing the 29th, and are considering making solo trips up on the 27/28.  Still letting that simmer, and will make a game time decision.  For NYE, the 3 of us will be heading up to Boston, so that should be pretty awesome.  This will be Chrissy's 2nd show, and she has always said we owe her a New Year's show (she sent a get well letter to Jim in 2008, and he sent us two tix to MSG NYE, and she always thought she got cheated because we didn't take her). 

Another way that the band has impacted our lives, and perhaps an even bigger way, is the people we have met.  It has been such a wonderful experience getting to meet so many kindred spirits, and we have really developed relationships that will last for many years to come.  That has been such a great bonus, and has just added another dimension to our lives.  It also makes it more difficult sometimes, when we can't do all the shows that we want to do, but our friends from here  do an excellent job at keeping us in the loop!

Wait, am I rambling? I feel like I am in a therapy session...to whom should I mail a check? 

Thanks for starting this thread!  Ok, now I guess I should do some work 

[Jaimoe]

One of the positives for being 44 is that I'm still considered young as a blues guitarist

One thing I regret is retiring from playing hockey 18 years ago. I returned to the ice in 2010 and lost most of my timing and confidence, but my stamina has improved greatly (thanks to riding my bike around 120 kms a week all spring, summer and fall... and I'm still riding, depending on the weather). If I didn't retire, I'd be one of the best players on the ice (guys that are better than me now I could skate rings around back in the day). I still have aspirations of getting some of my old mojo back in a few years, provided I can play more often.

I've been working out/weight-training since my late teens, but now I focus more on overall fitness. However, recently I've been doing strength training again since I want to be stronger on the puck during my hockey games. In my early 30s I weighed 187-90, but now I'm 165lbs. I can still bench a fair bit of weight and my legs are strong, but I don't need to tell you one of the bad things about being older is that our backs start to undermine our everyday lives. Who here hasn't had issues with their back? A show of hands. I bet few to none.

[Fully]

By the time I get to Port Chester, I'll be 45. Mentally, I'm still a sixth grade boy. It doesn't age all that graceFully, as if I care.

[Taterbug]

Thanks for sharing tdb810, as a father of a 15 year old ( my only child ) I can relate to much of what you said. I think it's great that you daughter likes the band and you can share in those experiences with her.  I really wish I had that with my girl.  Our musical tastes are the complete opposite.  Some day she will come around I hope.
               As for me turning 46 in the next couple months I feel the same physically as I did in my 20's & 30's except for the uncontrollable urge  to take a nap on the weekends. I also can't drink booze like I used to. No alcohol during the week.  It takes me 2 days to recover from a long night out drinking so I just don't do it as much.

I find my biggest adversary as I get older is gravity. 

[Taterbug]

I'm fitter at 44 than I was at 34; tougher too. Age is just a number, but many get old in their late 20s, which is pathetic.

When I graduated from High school I was 5'8" 165 lbs with a 28" waist,  today I'm 5'11" 195 LBS and 34" waist with a little muffin top and ass crack visible.

[Fully]

I'm fitter at 44 than I was at 34; tougher too. Age is just a number, but many get old in their late 20s, which is pathetic.

When I graduated from High school I was 5'8" 165 lbs with a 28" waist,  today I'm 5'11" 195 LBS and 34" waist with a little muffin top and ass crack visible.

Please stop teasing me this way.

[exist10z]

I'm fitter at 44 than I was at 34; tougher too. Age is just a number, but many get old in their late 20s, which is pathetic.

This.

I'll be 44 in about three weeks (NYE, the 2008 MSG show was my 40th birthday present to myself).  I am certainly in the best shape of my life, and I'd like to think I am in the best place I have ever been mentally/psychologically as well.  Of course that's assuming you place a high value on retaining a youthful carefree outlook about life.

It's a bit easier for me though, as my wife and I never had children, choosing instead to remain somewhat selfishly childlike ourselves.  I really respect those that have children and chose the more typically responsible route, with it's attendant responsibilities, and remain youthful and changeable.  Too many I think, whether with regard to music, or any other definable position, become set in what they concluded in their 20s or 30s, and never adjust those beliefs or preferences - despite new information.

I am happily very different than I was in my 20s, and very different than I was in my 30s, I try to always be growing.  It keeps life fresh and interesting, and makes getting older - as many have said, just a number.

[Jaimoe]

I also got married for the first time at 38 to a woman 9 years younger. That in itself keeps me young, but I have youthful genetics and still no grey hair!

[Taterbug]

I also got married for the first time at 38 to a woman 9 years younger. That in itself keeps me young, but I have youthful genetics and still no grey hair!

Funny, I got married for the ONLY time when I was 20 and have a shitload of gray hair. I started getting gray in my late 20's.  I'm just happy I still have hair although I'm not to happy about those hairs that seem to sprout overnight in my ears, nose. I had a nipple hair that was in excess of 6" long. 

[ItBeats4Jew]

any reason why you started this thread today? 

I can't comment on this yet.  I'll let you know tomorrow. 

[zanjam]

any reason why you started this thread today? 

I can't comment on this yet.  I'll let you know tomorrow.

Well, your impending 40th did have me thinking a lot about being over 40!  But I have thought about starting this thread for a while.  There are lots of young'uns on the forum and they are super nice people, but I think there are some things that only us old folks can relate to.

[iLikeBeer]

I also got married for the first time at 38 to a woman 9 years younger. That in itself keeps me young, but I have youthful genetics and still no grey hair!

Funny, I got married for the ONLY time when I was 20 and have a shitload of gray hair. I started getting gray in my late 20's.  I'm just happy I still have hair although I'm not to happy about those hairs that seem to sprout overnight in my ears, nose. I had a nipple hair that was in excess of 6" long.

LOL!  My wife hates me that I haven't started turning grey yet!  She has her greys colored but she points a new one out to me everytime one pops up in her hair.    I'm starting to notice one pop up in my beard every now and again so I figure it won't be long.  No biggie though.  Like you said Tater, at least I still have a full head of hair and that is more important to me than turning grey!

Trish, thanks for sharing about your being a working mom.  My wife is a working mom as well.  Although, she teaches so she gets 3 months to be a stay at home mom and by the time August rolls around, she is more than ready to go back to work!     I don't know if I'd still have children or a wife if she were a full time stay at home mom.     We were always kind of annoyed with most stay at home moms that we know/knew.  It seemed as though they were just making shit up for themselves to do because they didn't have anything else to do?  And then, their kids started going to school and then they REALLY had nothing to do?!  And it also seemed like they tried to go out of their way to do things to make my wife feel bad about being a working mom (never worked  ). 

As for the age being a number thing, (I'm 42 btw) I have to totally agree.  While I can't brag about being in better shape now than I was in my 20's and 30's, I'm happy and that is all that really matters.  I'm not totally out of shape as I try to walk my 2 labs on a daily basis (well, that is when my broken foot heals all the way...  ; maybe bones getting brittle is another negative of being over 40 as this was my first ever broken bone and I did it slipping on our damn steps?  )  But then again, I'm not going to the gym or to the pool to swim laps like I used to in my 20's either. 

One thing I love about this band is that when you go to a show, you don't feel like you are the elder statesman in the crowd.  I sort of did hanging by the pool at Forecastle, but I also remember thinking that all of those young whipper snappers were looking at us and hoping they would still be doing this when they were our age as well!     I also love that my wife and I are both totally into this band.  We've always shared similar interests in music but nothing like both of our obsessiveness over this band!  Its so great to be able to have a partner who is crazy enough about this band to drop everything and travel to NY or KY for 3 days just to see this band!   



And Tater, I'm with you on the drinking.  The body just doesn't recover quite like it used to in my younger days. 

[Fully]

I also got married for the first time at 38 to a woman 9 years younger. That in itself keeps me young, but I have youthful genetics and still no grey hair!

Funny, I got married for the ONLY time when I was 20 and have a shitload of gray hair. I started getting gray in my late 20's.  I'm just happy I still have hair although I'm not to happy about those hairs that seem to sprout overnight in my ears, nose. I had a nipple hair that was in excess of 6" long.

I can't take much more of this!

[Taterbug]

I also got married for the first time at 38 to a woman 9 years younger. That in itself keeps me young, but I have youthful genetics and still no grey hair!

Funny, I got married for the ONLY time when I was 20 and have a shitload of gray hair. I started getting gray in my late 20's.  I'm just happy I still have hair although I'm not to happy about those hairs that seem to sprout overnight in my ears, nose. I had a nipple hair that was in excess of 6" long.

I can't take much more of this!

Sorry Fully if you read that while eating lunch.

[Fully]

I also got married for the first time at 38 to a woman 9 years younger. That in itself keeps me young, but I have youthful genetics and still no grey hair!

Funny, I got married for the ONLY time when I was 20 and have a shitload of gray hair. I started getting gray in my late 20's.  I'm just happy I still have hair although I'm not to happy about those hairs that seem to sprout overnight in my ears, nose. I had a nipple hair that was in excess of 6" long.

I can't take much more of this!

Sorry Fully if you read that while eating lunch.

I was reading it in a room full of kids who are taking practice standardized tests and your 6 ft long nipple hair is just too much. A woman can only take so much. Snorting is something that has become more common since I've aged. You are making me snort way too much!

[Taterbug]

Also I've noticed that as I gotten older I no longer feel need to figure " IT " out , the meaning of life and religious enlightenment.  I have lived my life without knowing "IT" and can happily live the rest of it without "IT" .  So as I've come to the conclusion that refusing to look for "IT is "IT" ( in my mind ) , if that makes any sense.

[headhunter]

Also I've noticed that as I gotten older I no longer feel need to figure " IT " out , the meaning of life and religious enlightenment.  I have lived my life without knowing "IT" and can happily live the rest of it without "IT" .  So as I've come to the conclusion that refusing to look for "IT is "IT" ( in my mind ) , if that makes any sense.

wow, as someone who has a very limited amount of days left in their 40's I can totally relate to this thread.

Figuring "IT" out is always a journey but a couple of musical quotes that I like to live by and have worked over the years

"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."    James Taylor
"If you want to give God a laugh, tell him your plans"    Mike Scott (The Waterboys)
"It's got to be the going, not the getting there that's good."    Harry Chapin


Life is a journey, music has always been a very special friend to and for me and makes everything better.  Mostly the more you learn and the more you know, the more you realize there is to learn and how much you don't know.   I'm much better now about taking things in stride than I used to be.

It all goes by a heck of a lot faster than you ever thought it would.  Enjoy the ride.