Over 40 thread

[LeanneP]

I'm 41 for a few more months. Like Trish, I didn't mind turning 40 but getting older than that is freaking me out a little.  I need reading glasses now!

I sort of gave up drinking (and smoking cigarettes) for the most part in my early 30s when I passed out mid show (Guided By Voices) in the women's bathroom in Detroit (tho I don't live in the States) and woke up after the staff had cleaned the venue and shut off the lights. That scared me out of excessive drinking pretty much forever.  I still drink a few beers a year but I don't/can't party like I used to. However, now that I am in my 40's, I don't really care. I do, however, have a nightly toke after the kids go to bed. 

My body, with better nutrition and about the same amount of exercise is NOT any fitter than it used to be. In fact, I've grown into what I call "a fat Irish housewife" and that is starting to take it's toll. I hate exercise!  But, I am at peace with myself. I am more in love with my husband than ever and watching that relationship deepen over the years is a kick. I'm very lucky to have a husband who is OK with my having an imaginary rock boyfriend 

You know the weird thing about being over 40: I really know myself well and I have a wider understanding of the world and it's parts (not complete, mind you) and I keep thinking, "I could totally have been a theoretical physicist," "I should have been a doctor," "if only graphic design on computers was a thing when I was a teen!" etc, etc. I sort of feel like I could be anything with enough training. I feel smart and capable.

And yet, at the same time, I'll always be a misfit 20yo who feels a little inadequate and incompetent.

And, btw, can I just say that I adore this group of folks. Really and truly. 

[tdb810]

love everyone's comments, and adore you all too :)

Leanne, the part about feeling smart and capable -- yes! i wish i had felt this confident at a younger age, but happy to have it now.   

[Tracy 2112]

I am much more open minded than I ever dreamed I would be and friendlier.

[Jaimoe]

My conservative uncle told me when I was in my late teens that you grow more conservative as you get older. Well guess what Uncle Bill? That hasn't happened nor will it.

[bunk_moreland]

Just turned 40 in August and in the two haircuts I've gotten since then the woman cutting my hair has asked if I wanted my eyebrows trimmed.  This never happened before.  Also, while the sideburns are getting trimmed and over/around the ears, the earlobes get clippered now. 

And that's just on my cranial region!  The rest of me is also a nightmare. 
Hair. Fucking. Grows. Everywhere. On. Me. Now.

[Fully]

Just turned 40 in August and in the two haircuts I've gotten since then the woman cutting my hair has asked if I wanted my eyebrows trimmed.  This never happened before.  Also, while the sideburns are getting trimmed and over/around the ears, the earlobes get clippered now. 

And that's just on my cranial region!  The rest of me is also a nightmare. 
Hair. Fucking. Grows. Everywhere. On. Me. Now.

It's the same for females. I could have a full beard if I ever completely give up on life.

I also have not grown more conservative, and I've always been more open-minded. I have found lately that I am much slower at returning graded papers to my students, but I've always hated grading. 

I don't mind getting older at all, but I like to be around people of all ages. I have 18 year old friends and 92 year old friends and plenty in between. I'm always sad when I meet younger people who don't see anything other than my age and think that will automatically mean that we have nothing in common. When I was in my twenties, one of my best friends was 63. We have a great many newer teachers at my school this year, and it has mystified me how they are only interested in each other and not the older teachers. It feels like we are invisible. When I first started teaching I gained so much from my relationships with the older, more experienced, and wiser teachers. One day they will figure it out.

[iLikeBeer]

We have a great many newer teachers at my school this year, and it has mystified me how they are only interested in each other and not the older teachers. It feels like we are invisible. When I first started teaching I gained so much from my relationships with the older, more experienced, and wiser teachers. One day they will figure it out.

Fully, my wife is not quite 40 yet but she's getting close, but she is getting close to having 20 years of teaching under her and she too has noticed that many of the newer teachers stick to themselves and don't really seek out the wisdom of the more experienced teachers at all.  It is as if they think they know more about teaching coming out of college and their limited amount in the classroom than those that have been teaching with 15-20 years or more of classroom experience?!  Hell, she's even been getting college students who act as if they know more about teaching than my wife?! 

You are so right about what these newer teachers are missing out on by not seeking out and soaking up what veteran teachers could pass on to them.  I remember when my wife started out, she was given a mentor teacher to guide her through her first year and she was sooooo appreciative of the knowledge she gained from having that mentor.  Not surprising that this is no longer practiced in her school... 

My conservative uncle told me when I was in my late teens that you grow more conservative as you get older. Well guess what Uncle Bill? That hasn't happened nor will it.

I think the key is this info was being passed onto you by a conservative.  Possibly wishful thinking on the part of your conservative uncle?   

If anything, I have become much more liberal the older I get!  On the other hand, my wife's conservative sister and her husband have indeed gotten much more conservative the older they get.  I just think it's a matter of which way you lean to start with... 

[Penny Lane]

I ain't complainin' but i can fall asleep in 3 minutes no matter where I am or what time it is.

i love this..

[Penny Lane]

I'm still a sixth grade boy.

don't ever change...lol...and never learn how to drive...highlight of forecastle (almost) was getting into a car with you and you said 'i'm not a very good driver' then we run smack into the parking meter thing and nearly get killed twice on the road.  XOX

[Penny Lane]

This is by far my favorite thread--I'll be joining you in a few years and I hope to reach the point you seem to be at mentally. I've never mastered the chilling out factor as I'm as high strung as they come, but I'm hoping it'll come as I age. I think traveling around a lot and living in a big city has kept me young but lately (as I'm plucking the mother f_cking grey hairs) I'm beginning to feel it.

tater---i bet that motorcycle keeps you young!

i want TEO and Crazy to chime in here!

Tdb--great post!

[Fully]

I'm still a sixth grade boy.

don't ever change...lol...and never learn how to drive...highlight of forecastle (almost) was getting into a car with you and you said 'i'm not a very good driver' then we run smack into the parking meter thing and nearly get killed twice on the road.  XOX

I'm still really thankful that I didn't bust my tire on that curb. My husband has not been told about this, btw.  Actually, I'm just a poor driver in areas that I'm not super familiar in, but I would completely understand if you didn't believe me 

[Taterbug]

This is by far my favorite thread--I'll be joining you in a few years and I hope to reach the point you seem to be at mentally. I've never mastered the chilling out factor as I'm as high strung as they come, but I'm hoping it'll come as I age. I think traveling around a lot and living in a big city has kept me young but lately (as I'm plucking the mother f_cking grey hairs) I'm beginning to feel it.

tater---i bet that motorcycle keeps you young!

i want TEO and Crazy to chime in here!

Tdb--great post!

Penny, the bike is a great stress reliever.  Every saturday & sunday morning ( weather permittiing ) I put my ear buds in and the 1st song on my playlist labeled Long Ride is At Dawn.  It's a lazy form of jogging I guess 

[vespachick]

I'm 44 for a few more months.  I didn't have any gray hairs until about 6 months ago when they started to appear at my temples.  My first and only daughter just turned two (2!) last Friday. Coincidence?  I totally understand, now, why you're supposed to have your kids when you're in your twenties.  I.Am.Exhausted.ALWAYS.

I was also at my fittest in my late twenties and early thirties.  I didn't have to work hard at it, tho I certainly wasn't skinny bones jones, but I was "fit" and could swim two miles or run 6 without much thought.  In my mid 30's all I needed to do was sign up for a 10k or a marathon or whatever and I would be motivated enough to do it.  Now, oh I still sign up for them (hello Eugene Marathon 2013) but getting the miles in, in any amount, is a huge, huge problem for me now.  Time isn't what it used to be.

Turns out when you get older you can't eat burritos, pizza and drink copious amounts of wine everyday (though I still try!), do absolutely no exercise and expect to still slip into the pants in you drawer.  Any of them.  Sigh.  Still, I wouldn't change a thing I suppose, and having this family of MMJ crazies sure does help to remember that I'm really not crazy at all for living the way I (we) do.  Plenty of people travel for bands, and have jobs, and have families of their own, and are happy.  So now I think of myself as an overweight french woman who is happy in the kitchen, with a bottle of wine....

Also: I would go fucking crazy if I were a stay at home mom; I don't know how my mom did it, and she had four of us!  It's way harder to stay at home than it is to come to the office and "get away from it all." I don't have to vacuum here, or do the dishes......
   

[iLikeBeer]

I'm 44 for a few more months.  I didn't have any gray hairs until about 6 months ago when they started to appear at my temples.  My first and only daughter just turned two (2!) last Friday. Coincidence?  I totally understand, now, why you're supposed to have your kids when you're in your twenties.  I.Am.Exhausted.ALWAYS.

Trust me, it gets worse in their 3's?!  At least mine were.  Hell, my youngest just turned 7 and I swear she's still in her terrible 2's every now and again!!!    My wife and I always say, if she had been born first, she'd be an only child!   

[Taterbug]

I'm 44 for a few more months.  I didn't have any gray hairs until about 6 months ago when they started to appear at my temples.  My first and only daughter just turned two (2!) last Friday. Coincidence?  I totally understand, now, why you're supposed to have your kids when you're in your twenties.  I.Am.Exhausted.ALWAYS.

Trust me, it gets worse in their 3's?!  At least mine were.  Hell, my youngest just turned 7 and I swear she's still in her terrible 2's every now and again!!!    My wife and I always say, if she had been born first, she'd be an only child!   

Vespa,  I just gotta tell ya my wife and I think your daughter is just the cutest thing, I just wanna pinch her cheeks.   

[ItBeats4Jew]

ok, now that today is the big day, I can officially comment on this thread with some authority.  Unforutnately, bunk is absolutely spot on.  The hair where I don't want it and the continuing scarcity of hair where I do is the biggest drawback so far.  But if you would have told me when I was 20 years old that I'd have done a 1/2 Ironman in the year that I turned 40, I would have laughed you right off of my cheeto and bongwater stained couch. 

[vespachick]

I'm 44 for a few more months.  I didn't have any gray hairs until about 6 months ago when they started to appear at my temples.  My first and only daughter just turned two (2!) last Friday. Coincidence?  I totally understand, now, why you're supposed to have your kids when you're in your twenties.  I.Am.Exhausted.ALWAYS.

Trust me, it gets worse in their 3's?!  At least mine were.  Hell, my youngest just turned 7 and I swear she's still in her terrible 2's every now and again!!!    My wife and I always say, if she had been born first, she'd be an only child!   

Vespa,  I just gotta tell ya my wife and I think your daughter is just the cutest thing, I just wanna pinch her cheeks.

Thanks Tater! She sure is a handful of cute; gets craftier every day. 

Beer, a have a friend who keeps telling me that 3 is the worst.  I, um, cannot wait?  The upside of that is my step-daughter may well be old enough (in her attitude) to actually babysit her alone by then.  ("Mama's gotta go the record store, you girls stay here.....")

Happy birthday ItBeats! Welcome to le club! 

[ItBeats4Jew]

by the way, the cheetos have now been replaced with whole grain, organic, whole foods cheese snacks and the bongwater has been replaced with more frequently changed bongwater. 

[vespachick]

 

[Taterbug]

Now that I'll be closer to 50 than 40 is it ok to buy a pair of these ?