I learned a valuable lesson today.

[ManNamedTruth]

Yeah just gonna stay strong and keep my distance. I'm gonna see if she wants to meet up at a show that i had previously mentioned, since I'd still like to see her at some point. That will mostly likely be the extent of it though. Thanks for the advice Penny! Mamakel, it's cool to hear stories of relationships starting out as friendship. Maybe it works for a select few, but its never worked for me so I'm going to do the opposite of what I've done in the past. At least she knows how I feel now, and glad I didn't wait any longer. Appreciate all the different points of view Mama, there's no wrong answers here.

[ManNamedTruth]

I read it.

That's a bummer man.  Sounds like you took a good lesson from it though, maybe this is a case where the lesson is more important/better than what the outcome of the actual event would have been.  Let's hope so. You only go around once, and the older you get the shorter you realize it is, so that lesson - doing the things you want to do and taking chances, is invaluable.

[Fully]

Wise words that make even more of an impact in light of today's news. Go gently into that good night, exist.

[EverythingChanges]

Wise words that make even more of an impact in light of today's news. Go gently into that good night, exist.

I just thought the same thing.  I never really knew the man, but it pains me to hear this news.  He was too young, and as people have pointed out in this thread--life is too short.

Live every day as if it were your last.

[el_chode]

Sounds like she's not 100% into the new guy if you ask me. I saved my wife from a bad relationship. Wasn't a steal, just took 2 years of patience.

[ManNamedTruth]

Sounds like she's not 100% into the new guy if you ask me. I saved my wife from a bad relationship. Wasn't a steal, just took 2 years of patience.

Yeah I hope that's the case. She seems pretty fickle when it comes to relationships. We'll see.

[el_chode]

Sounds like she's not 100% into the new guy if you ask me. I saved my wife from a bad relationship. Wasn't a steal, just took 2 years of patience.

Yeah I hope that's the case. She seems pretty fickle when it comes to relationships. We'll see.

Al I have to say is that as long as you manage your expectations you can't go wrong. The momnt I saw my wife I knew she was the one and it took a long time and a lot of hurt feelings . But my read was that I thought I was a better dude than the other guy and had enough confidence in that to keep on pushing. I guess my thought is that if she was really into him it'd be more of a "sorry I'm taken" situation.

[ffghtrs]

My thoughts go to my friend.  I hope life brings something wonderful your way, try to stay positive and remember there are great jacketheads here on the internet to talk with even if it's just text.  I'd say a great listen to It Still Moves or Z might cheer you up.  It works for me.

[ManNamedTruth]

My thoughts go to my friend.  I hope life brings something wonderful your way, try to stay positive and remember there are great jacketheads here on the internet to talk with even if it's just text.  I'd say a great listen to It Still Moves or Z might cheer you up.  It works for me.

I was kind of depressed for a couple days, but I'm back to normal now. Knowing there wasn't anything I can do at the moment, there wasn't any reason to sulk and no time for regret.

[capt. scotty]

Didnt see this the first time around but I agree with what it sounds like youre doing - just put this one on the backburner for now and check on it every once in awhile. I agree with what Mamakel said about better relationships occurring when they started out as friendships, but I even more agree with the friend zone being a bad place to be, frustrating, and not really worth it in the end.

I can see why she didnt think you were interested though.  You said that she only recently returned from vacation so its not like you waited around, but thats not really relevant. You didnt say how many years its been since you worked with her, but clearly you known her for at least a few years and it sounds like youve only kept in contact minimally with her thru the years (and didnt even know she wasnt single when you worked with her), so I think its fair to assume if you were interested you would have been more aggressive or persistent with her and made that known long ago. Sounds like thats basically your lesson learned though so no worries 

[ManNamedTruth]

Didnt see this the first time around but I agree with what it sounds like youre doing - just put this one on the backburner for now and check on it every once in awhile. I agree with what Mamakel said about better relationships occurring when they started out as friendships, but I even more agree with the friend zone being a bad place to be, frustrating, and not really worth it in the end.

I can see why she didnt think you were interested though.  You said that she only recently returned from vacation so its not like you waited around, but thats not really relevant. You didnt say how many years its been since you worked with her, but clearly you known her for at least a few years and it sounds like youve only kept in contact minimally with her thru the years (and didnt even know she wasnt single when you worked with her), so I think its fair to assume if you were interested you would have been more aggressive or persistent with her and made that known long ago. Sounds like thats basically your lesson learned though so no worries 

Didn't mention this in my original message, but I told her it seemed like she always blew me off when I wanted to get together, her reply was that she was always busy with someone sick in her family or something crazy going on. I could've been more aggressive sure, but it's a moot point if my friend was involved with her at the time anyway. Also I think part of it was maybe I didn't want a girlfriend at the time as much as I want one now. As I've gotten older more and more of my friends are settling down and moved in with girlfriends/wives, and I've gotten left behind a little. There's not as much to do now, and I don't see some of them as often, so I'm just ready for something now.