anyone have any original songs or poetry to post

[TheLink]

i'll start.  this is my favorite.  feel free to give opinions good or bad.  it is all subjective.

ROOM 5
The blue metallic curtains are shut
Smell of hospital makes me feel safe
Am I
Television plays all night
Entering my dreams and becoming memories
Feel the strangeness in my chest
As I breathe this bitter smoke
The blue metallic curtains are shut
Smell of hospital makes me feel safe
My thoughts, how I could have changed
Consume me until I am drunk again
These circles, I have led myself to this
And tomorrow it will rain again
I put on my coat
The blue metallic curtains are shut
Smell of hospital makes me feel safe
But I am still left in just skin
Skin, slowly turning into blue metallic curtains
Music to my ears
Your voice smells like Christmas in June
I sit here helpless staring at your face
When I wake up screaming
"Someone take me from this fucking place"
But you don't hear me
And neither does she
Save your breathe for this cold
Watch the chemicals make me old
Wake up it's time to go
Winter is so long where I am.
 :-/

[The Boar]

A friend of mine asked me to critique a poem she had written the other day and told me about this site www.criticalpoet.com, where users can post and critique each other's poetry. I've seen several of these type things before on the web, but not that particular one.

I've published some stuff in a former life. I'll see if I can dig some of it up, so TheLink is not alone.  :)

[tomEisenbraun]

here's one i had to write about a week or so ago for enlish class.

"why I'm afraid of bears"

one early spring morning
i walked outside to find
a bear.
nine feet of brown ferocity
nibbling meekly at one of my backyard cedars.
he found me riveted,,
my blood emptying into my feet
as if to scream
RUN.
but he caught first scent of the word,
and left me wondering if my fear
was anything more than instinctual ignorance.

and could i not learn a thing or two from my friend,
the bear?
to learn not to maul, but to nibble?
to run from battles best not fought,
but otherwise easily won?
for the true measure of a man
lies not in sheer power,
but in his tact.
and if only i could learn
to use the same claws that could skin a deer
to nimbly pluck
my backyard cedars clean,
then maybe i could begin to learn
why it is that i am so afraid
of bears.

[TheLink]

nice one.  would did you get for a grade on it?  i tend to write when i am angry or down, so most of mine are "dark".  Once i finish learning the acoustic, i'll give a shot at actually writing a song to go with the words.  here is another.  someone give me some feedback.  i trust you guys more than any shitty snob website.

Lampshade killer

Fight me to the death
Keep me from the floor
Open up the doors
Wash me up on shore
I see through all your might
Deep down you have no light
Fight me down the stairs
Lock me in good and tight
You are all I ever feel
I am scared to reach out
Pain, eases, and I shut down
Alone but with my friends
Nobody knows
No one even cares
Fight me till I'm floored
I won't fight back no more
Leave me with this sin
Call me a sinner and move along
Call me a winner and leave
Call me on the phone sometime
Please don't let me be alone
Please don't let me be alone
I am the lampshade killer of the night!
I am the fucking killer of the night!
I can simply destroy your goddam light.
Do you want to fight?

[utonynashm]

Check My Sig Link for some of my solo Songs please!...

Also, I got so much poems written and lyrics it aint even funny...what to share...I don't know...Here is a start...:
-----------------------------------------------------------

"A Place So Full Of Life"



In a place so full of life, with all the flowers in bloom
Lays a rotten man, encased in his tomb

Like the tree branches, his life was long
But no beauty grew on him, no one heard his song

Like the lush green fields, his sins were many
No one ever saved him, but attempts were plenty

And like the clouds, he was distant and hollow
No sight to see no path to follow

And like the sky, both day and night
His stars never shined, and his sun had no light

Never understood, nor will he ever be
He is only remembered by a few words, the ones you now read

But the most tragic thing of all, if you take the time to see
Deep down inside, this man is me
-----------------------------------------------------------
I then wrote this the day bfore I tried killing myself:
-----------------------------------------------------------

"Reprise Of A Place So Full Of Life"



Like the night his life was dark, with little light to see

Although his troubles aren't what they seem
They still won't let him be at peace

When a revolution occurred inside his mind
He looked for any escape he could find

When a dark ending creeped into his thoughts
He tried to commit it no matter the cost

When at last the wretched deed was done
Free he was to suffer for eternity and beyond

Like the night his life was dark, with little light to see

[utonynashm]

I hope I didn't kill this thread...

[corey]

Nahhh.... the board has been kind of slow this weekend. Everyone must be busy.
It'll kick up Monday.

It's a good poem. Very dark and sad, but good.

(Glad you didn't succeed in your efforts that day, btw).

[utonynashm]

"Under A Dark Sky"



Sitting under, such a dark sky
See the stars shining, that's the only light
The universe is your friend, you never want this night to end

And now, everything is so clear
Keep calling for a reason, as to why you are here
Never found myself, not giving up you see
Just tired of looking for reasons to be me

Trying to get all my thoughts into this song
But again everyone will get me wrong
We are all one in the same, but that'll never matter anyway

I can't find, anyway to say
All of your closed minds, have led you astray
And when you face your end, and I lay down to die
Everything I was taught, all becomes a lie

[EC]

I'm really enjoying reading these.  

I'm not a good opinion-giver on stuff like this because I always feel like these kinds of things are what they are - they're kind of personal expressions.  And I dig knowing where people at, and how they're choosing to talk about stuff.

But I wanted to say that I like reading them so that you wouldn't stop.  :)

[utonynashm]

I have a lot I want to share but I don't wanna keep posting them cause that looks selfish.  But I don't know where to put um.

[EC]

Whatever, dude - put 'em here.  That's what this thread is for.  :)

[utonynashm]

"Wanting Out"



It all started a while ago
Always told to be tough, never to let go

It would seem one, should pay a price
But falling down has never been so nice

Watch the sun pour through the shades
Open up your window to a brighter day

Never has it been so loud
The sound of me wanting to get out


Travels, war, death, and peace, never can you find a release
Always going, always going up hill

Never can you find your mind, always lost in the scent of time
Down the hole, down the hole you go

Even now you find time to dream, always reaching for the unseen
Hopes the only thing that keeps you here, you say

Decrypted, wretched, twisted is your soul, your only way to release is to never let go
Down the hole, down the hole you go


"State Of Mind"



All the lies they tell, make ya' think heaven aint' real
But your state of mind

All the melodies that have been, all the songs left to sing
It is life that will all end

One way dream, left for all to see, find your truth in me

One way out, livin' in doubt, let it set you free

All the sin that's you, make ya' think hell is true
All found in your head

All the time you spend, livin in your lies
You need to break out, this time

One way dream, left for all to see, find your truth in me

One way out, livin' in doubt, let it set you free


"Sometimes Found"



Sometimes lost, is the only way to live
And the ideals you hold, are too sacred
Try to comprehend, the reason why you're here
And your mind gets lost, in all the fear

They say there's a storm coming, from where the winds always blow
But I can't see any clouds
They say it's here upon us, but I can't feel any pain
I'm too low, on the ground

Sometimes found, is only in your mind
And what they all say, is never kind
Try to understand, leave it all behind
Got to find that road, and peace of mind

They say there's a storm coming, from where the winds always blow
But I can't see any clouds
They say it's here upon us, but I can't feel any pain
I'm too low, on the ground

[utonynashm]

"Revolution Never Hurts"



A little revolution never hurt no one, relearn history is the first rule of thumb
Everything you were taught was a clever lie, even down to what you feel inside

How right I am, the fools say
How does it feel to have faith, in something so fake?

Jaded I may be, cynical it seems
At least I know the truth is in me

Take a look back at how the time flies by
Never listen to that voice, down inside

Now you face the end, surprised yet again
See the lights fade, as you rise, so high


"Rainy Day View"



Lay me down, and drift away
Caught up in a rainy day
Hear the sound always play, a sad sad melody

Mysteries yes dark it seems
Have your fun in your dreams
The worst part of dreaming, is waking up to the day

Sure I talk of being down
Always see me with a frown
But you know I got to say hope is already within

And when you'll see me
I'll be gone in a dream
Join me in that field, taking on everything


"Old World Goodbye"



It was all in a dream, when it all fell through
Into the deepest blue, look at all the stars too

It was all so easy, when the truth was a lie
Caught up in your new world, kiss the old one goodbye

Your time has come to fly
Take in the sunshine
Let it go, cause' you'll never know
When your soul is one, with your mind

On my own two feet again, when time passes by
Responsible now and then, give life in your hands a try

Feelings hard to come by, when it's all confused
Just another mind lost, as the rain pours down on you

Your time has come to fly
Take in the sunshine
Let it go, cause' you'll never know
When your soul is one, with your mind


"In Your Mind"



You use your separate reality to get on by
Push everyone away

In your mind your always right
It'll always be that way

Been down to long, to long to say
Denied your right to fly away
So low to long it's meant to be
Denied your right to believe

You get tired of people telling you how to live
Too much too say

You find it funny, when everyone is wrong
It's you against the world anyway

Been down to long, to long to say
Denied your right to fly away
So low to long it's meant to be
Denied your right to believe


"Crazy View"



Blessed with your sanity
I'd rather see the world through my crazy eyes

Caught up in your truth
I'd rather live in my insane lies

And when you take the time
You will finally see
The real me is never here
Only in a dream

And when you take the time
You will finally see
All your empty safety
Means nothing

All lost in your theories
I'd rather see my sun shine

Trusting me with your ideals
Was your only wrong, this time


"Cosmic Colored Skies"



It was all in a cosmic colored dream
Where your truth is as surreal as it seems
Iced waterfall, fired sun
Slipping beyond, has never been so much fun

See the pale colored skies
Feel all the blue cries
Take in all your crazy dreams
Yes of course, nothing is what it seems

[peanut butter puddin surprise]

awoke this morning with a heavy heart
my darling is doing her lovely part
i can hear her singing in the other room
soon another day our lives will loom

i stumble out of bed and walk across
a few minutes of sleep aren't that much of a loss
to see her smile as she awakens

[TheLink]

guess we'll keep going.  good stuff guys.

The devil's warning
            
So, how's your perfect life
Windows locked up good and tight
He must be away on business again
Bottle of wine is your only friend
Sorry you can't sleep
But I tried to keep you off them sheep
I knew you better than myself
So put the empty bottle on the shelf
So how's your perfect house
Garden grows some tasty life
The kids know you are drunk again
Now I am your only friend
Sinner you'll never win
Cause I have you by the wings
So close your eyes and try to sleep
Or just count all of your sheep.

We Are Blind
eyes see nothing
>dreams bring tears
>and lots of fears
>but love is a blessing
>comes from who the fuck cares
>it is there
>and we fight for our lives
>and why
>for the other side
>our insides rot
>with broken hearts
>and fake affection
>when does it end
>well, that depends
>god will decide if you want
>mask it with artificial joy
>so be it
>who REALLY even cares
>look at all of us
>watch your movie life
>isn't it grand
>a happy ending coming soon
>hopefully for you
>"so pray for us
>pray for the sunshine
>these days are cold  (might recognize)
>and I'm missing you"
>ah, fuck it!
>doesn't matter anymore
>man is dead from when he starts
>ladies too
>broken fingers can't grab a thing
>our ugly voices can barely sing
>raise up your hands
>make a fist
>make a fist
>make a fist
>lay down and go to sleep

[utonynashm]

All you wanted was peace of mind, all you wanted was something you couldn't find
To rest asure your tired heart, forgiveness was a nice place to start

Forgive and forget, ignore all the rest
Use the hope that you found, if not, watch it all fall down

What's all this talk about coming to your end?
Embrace the hope, let it in
To rest asure your tired soul, free your mind to really know
----------------------------

Lay me down and drift away, caught up in a rainy day
Hear that sound always play, a sad sad melody

Mysteries, yes dark it seems, have your fun in your dreams
The worst part of dreaming, is waking up to the day

Sure I talk of being down, always see me with a frown
but I got to say, hope is already within

And when you'll find me, I'll be out in a dream
Join me in that field, taking on everything
--------------------------------

Did you ever sit and really wonder, what it all means?
Is there anything beyond all the stars we see?

Someday this will all end, will you still believe in sin?
Some get taken sooner, some get taken late, do you still then beleive in fate?
---------------------------------

Hear the train rollin' on down the tracks, now there is no more coming back
I hear this break the scilence in the middle of the night, Lying in bed thinking, nothings gonna be alright

Sending a message out to all those who can feel, don't get caught up in the exsistance you think is real
Don't tune me out, don't turn away, keep your mind open, or it's closed to the grave
----------------------------------

Too many lights I see, want darkness to over take me
Too many rights are wrong, find salvation in a song

And you should, take it and stride
Too many fears, no more will you cry
Been down too long, get ready to fly
Day and night, it'll all be alright

Too many lives are weak, never livin up to the dreams they seek
So come along, find salvation in a song
------------------------------

I slipped into a dream of insanity
In my mind I saw the waves of the world
Floating through a cosmic playground
I listened as I was told:

Take in your fear, take in yur pain
Whatever makes you low--let it go!
-------------------------------------------------

It wasn't till sleep over took me, that I decided to loose my mind
It wasn't till the blood ran down, that I felt free for the first time

Only in your mind, will you find the key
Only in time, the truth will be seen

It wasn't till I sat down to read, that I saw it's all been said before
It wasn't till you heard these words, that you opened up the door

Sit down and relax, I know what your going through
Oh I do, cause I have felt that down too
If there was a way, we could leave this all now
I'd pack it up, and take you away some how

[thebigbang]

 it is all subjective.

:-/

 I might quibble that, but I won't right now.

[pretentious moi?]

'Revolution Never Hurts'

Hmmm unless you were part of the French aristocrasy, pretty sure getting hung, drawn and quartered would smart a little.

[TheLink]

quibble on big bang 8)

[utonynashm]

Well the title is supposed to be a bit funny cause Rrvolution is such a major thing and can be very painful...BUT, if you are ruled by fucking cumwads it don't hurt that bad to revolt.  That's where I was coming from...Wanna disect anymore of my shit or should I spell it all out now?  Your brain is there, use it.