let me tell you, (jokes)

[FACE]

I know there's a joke thread already, but the feeling you get when you make up a joke is unreal.

i wanted to share. others share too, please.

What did the big cat say when she found out she was pregnant?
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KITTEN ME!

What's the worst part about having sex with an ATM?
You're being video taped.

[FACE]

also, a friend did this one.
what's the best thing about skeleteon single cruise?
no fat chicks.

[dragonboy]

Haha love those! Made this one up...

A couple of zebras spot a lion approaching & speed off as fast as they can.
The lion chases after them shouting "Hey no wait, I just want to be friends!"
"Bullshit!" screams one of the zebras "you're LION'!"

Very poor  :-/

[FACE]

NO! THE BEST! AHHAHAH

[The DARK]

Why were the Indians the first in America? Because they had RESERVATIONS!

[easy way]

What's the worst part about having sex with an ATM?
You're being video taped.

...being video taped is a bonus...the transaction fee is the drawback.   ;)

[easy way]

Haha love those! Made this one up...

A couple of zebras spot a lion approaching & speed off as fast as they can.
The lion chases after them shouting "Hey no wait, I just want to be friends!"
"Bullshit!" screams one of the zebras "you're LION'!"

Very poor  :-/

...or if they end up being friends, then the Zebra says, "you're our MANE man"  8-)

[easy way]

I couldn't resist...

[dragonboy]

Haha love those! Made this one up...

A couple of zebras spot a lion approaching & speed off as fast as they can.
The lion chases after them shouting "Hey no wait, I just want to be friends!"
"Bullshit!" screams one of the zebras "you're LION'!"

Very poor  :-/

...or if they end up being friends, then the Zebra says, "you're our MANE man"  8-)

;D ;D ;D

[ycartrob]

QUESTION: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to tachieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across thecontinuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free of cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbooks. Of course, you also have to purchase Microsoft Road.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER: It was an instictive maneuver, the chicken obviously didn't see the road until he had already started to cross.
HOMER SIMPSON: Mmmmmm.....chicken....

[dragonboy]

You made that up Tracy?!!  :o

In What German city do they eat lots of Pork?
Hamburg!!!

In What German city do they always tell it like it is?
Frankfurt!!!

[ycartrob]

You made that up Tracy?!!  :o

ooops, I missed the premise in the first post.

[easy way]

You made that up Tracy?!!  :o

ooops, I missed the premise in the first post.

You must be joking... ;D

[mjkoehler]

From the mind/mouth of my 10 year old son.

What do you call people from America? Americans
What do you call people from Japan? Japanese
What do you call people from Mexico? Mexican
What do you call people from the bathroom?
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Euro peein

Har!

[dragonboy]

 ;D ;D ;D

[Janet]

Tracy, sorry, I have to....

Q:  Why did the chicken cross the road?

A.  Because he had a punk rocker stapled to his face.

I promise never to post on this subject thread again.  

Out!

[easy way]

Why were the Indians the first in America? Because they had RESERVATIONS!

...only about the veal.

[dragonboy]

Here's a classic I thought of whilst teaching today:

When all the world's sausages had a race which do you think came first?
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The wiener, of course!

I crack myself up  ;D

[ManNamedTruth]

Here's a classic I thought of whilst teaching today:

All the world's sausages had a race...which do you think came first?
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The wiener, of course!!!

Man, I crack myself up  ;D

they do race....

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4HMRtxY-ik[/media]

[dragonboy]

Haha great clip True  [smiley=thumbsup.gif]