Dudes, I need your help.

[e_wind]

;D I didn't think you were that kind of girl, was just weighing in on poop.

speaking of weighing in on poop....every weigh yourself on the bathroom scale before and after, just to check the weight.  Good times.

there was an episode of CSI where the models had body dysmorphia and weighed their poop and vomit to make sure the intake was the same as the outtake..there was a name for that specific disorder...i can't find it..

and OMFG--i just looked up Alabama Hot Pocket...Fully, you and Tracy's therapist is into some sick sh*t..i mean is that even anatomically possible?

Speaking of weighing in on poop...have you ladies ever weighed yourselves before and after being space docked or having your hot pocket stuffed?  Bad times

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=space+dock

ruckus--of course not..there's too much maintenance and cleanup after the AHP and space dock to worry about how much I weigh..question for you--have you ever done no 2 definition above?

just so i get this right, the only difference between the alabama hot pocket and the space dock is really the follow through on the hot pocket? because they seem pretty similar..

PS--i couldn't wait to get home in the privacy of my own computer and google  'disorders where you weigh your own poop' (true story)

I' ve dabbled but I don't consider that space docking.  It's called Can You Put Your Soft Helmet on my Head

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk

Also, best post ever possibly?

[jones]

Jon T., between this and "My Boo" I think we would get along quite well   ;D ;D ;D

:)

Oh jeez, don't encourage me.  I think I might have been a rapper in a past life.  When I was a wee lad, I had two pet hampsters.  Their names were MC Hampster and The Humpster (from Digital Underground).   ;D

[mjk73]

Seriously, this may be the best thread ever in the history of TMI threads on this board.


titties

[mjk73]

Meg, if you want 3 girlfriends....I know some people here who are way way waaaaaay into the poly lifestyle and would be more then happy to have you as the sweetmeat in their labia sandwich.

[Sticky Icky Green Stuff]

have you guys heard of that shit when people put like needles or tooth picks or weird objects in their penis holes, otherwise known as meatus'?  can't remember the name.  feel like it was magic stick or magic wanding it or something weird like that.  wizardry was involved.  anybody ever stick anything up their pee pee hole?

An 80 year old nurse did that to me at the free clinic but it did NOT turn me on.

Also, one of my girlfriends likes when I take advantage of her in her sleep.  There are all kinds of freaks out there, you just gotta find them.

oh I've found some freaks, that's for sure.  the last true freak I hooked up with was perhaps the nuttiest, it was a few years ago.  ex-vegas stripper,  recovering cokehead, mega slut, and my friends cousin.   it's weird to think about.  the only time I really felt "dirty" the next day after hooking up with someone.  and not because she was gross but because of the shit she said.   I'll switch into story mode real quick:

So it all started on a cold winter day in Pontiac.  a party was underway of epic proportions.  live music, tons of booze, and a fairly well balance ratio of dudes:chicks.  no plan of hooking up.  then the whiskey set in.  as it got closer to morning people started leaving.  except for a few, one, we'll just call her "lil slutty", was upstairs in the vacant apartment asking for me specifically to bring her a blanket.   not thinking about it, I grabbed one of the many blankets in our closet and took it up stairs.   and there she was.  naked as fuck and the first phrase she said to me was "Mark aka Stickyickygreenstuff... you can do whatever you want to me".  I paused for a second, extremely wasted, and then was like, "alright".  slutty but not so weird yet, I could handle it.  so we're getting down a little bit fooling around and she says straight up, what do you want me to do? and I said, as any real man would "suck my dick?" and she replies "oh, you want me to suck your dick?" all bummed like she wanted me to say "I'm going to shove it your butt" instead, but i was like "yeah, suck my dick" and that's when she said it, a chick I had only known for a couple hours, a chick that I was only hooking up with because she was naked on a platter begging for this sweet cock.

lil slutty says to me, "Do you love me?" and I stopped dead in my tracks and said "What?" startled, never in a situation so weird.  then she said it again, "Do you love me?" and i said "what?..No.. we just met..?"  it practically de-boner-fied me.   now here's the kicker, AFTER I said I didn't love her, she's like "I just got tested and I'm clean, you don't have to wear a condom".  and well you do the math.   for the next few weeks I was checking my privates frequently.

Strangely, there was no hesitation on her part regardless of what I said.  it was almost as if she loved being degraded.  it tripped me the fuck out.   did not like it.   friend ended up taking her on a date at the bowling alley a week later and they were boning in his car.  She kept telling him to choke her.  like hardcore shit.  until she almost passed out choking her.  needless to say that was enough for him too.  she was simply TOO freaky.

god std's scare the shit out of me.

[Jon T.]

Jon T., between this and "My Boo" I think we would get along quite well   ;D ;D ;D

:)

Oh jeez, don't encourage me.  I think I might have been a rapper in a past life.  When I was a wee lad, I had two pet hampsters.  Their names were MC Hampster and The Humpster (from Digital Underground).   ;D

That's him alright!  The years have been kind to MC Hampster.   ;D

[aMillionDreams]

have you guys heard of that shit when people put like needles or tooth picks or weird objects in their penis holes, otherwise known as meatus'?  can't remember the name.  feel like it was magic stick or magic wanding it or something weird like that.  wizardry was involved.  anybody ever stick anything up their pee pee hole?

An 80 year old nurse did that to me at the free clinic but it did NOT turn me on.

Also, one of my girlfriends likes when I take advantage of her in her sleep.  There are all kinds of freaks out there, you just gotta find them.

oh I've found some freaks, that's for sure.  the last true freak I hooked up with was perhaps the nuttiest, it was a few years ago.  ex-vegas stripper,  recovering cokehead, mega slut, and my friends cousin.   it's weird to think about.  the only time I really felt "dirty" the next day after hooking up with someone.  and not because she was gross but because of the shit she said.   I'll switch into story mode real quick:

So it all started on a cold winter day in Pontiac.  a party was underway of epic proportions.  live music, tons of booze, and a fairly well balance ratio of dudes:chicks.  no plan of hooking up.  then the whiskey set in.  as it got closer to morning people started leaving.  except for a few, one, we'll just call her "lil slutty", was upstairs in the vacant apartment asking for me specifically to bring her a blanket.   not thinking about it, I grabbed one of the many blankets in our closet and took it up stairs.   and there she was.  naked as fuck and the first phrase she said to me was "Mark aka Stickyickygreenstuff... you can do whatever you want to me".  I paused for a second, extremely wasted, and then was like, "alright".  slutty but not so weird yet, I could handle it.  so we're getting down a little bit fooling around and she says straight up, what do you want me to do? and I said, as any real man would "suck my dick?" and she replies "oh, you want me to suck your dick?" all bummed like she wanted me to say "I'm going to shove it your butt" instead, but i was like "yeah, suck my dick" and that's when she said it, a chick I had only known for a couple hours, a chick that I was only hooking up with because she was naked on a platter begging for this sweet cock.

lil slutty says to me, "Do you love me?" and I stopped dead in my tracks and said "What?" startled, never in a situation so weird.  then she said it again, "Do you love me?" and i said "what?..No.. we just met..?"  it practically de-boner-fied me.   now here's the kicker, AFTER I said I didn't love her, she's like "I just got tested and I'm clean, you don't have to wear a condom".  and well you do the math.   for the next few weeks I was checking my privates frequently.

Strangely, there was no hesitation on her part regardless of what I said.  it was almost as if she loved being degraded.  it tripped me the fuck out.   did not like it.   friend ended up taking her on a date at the bowling alley a week later and they were boning in his car.  She kept telling him to choke her.  like hardcore shit.  until she almost passed out choking her.  needless to say that was enough for him too.  she was simply TOO freaky.

god std's scare the shit out of me.

Nah, sounds like my kinda girl.  Although I do enjoy the sweet innocent ones as well.

[mjk73]

The sweet innocent ones who turn out to be raging nymphos behind closed are indeed great.

[Sticky Icky Green Stuff]

The sweet innocent ones who turn out to be raging nymphos behind closed are indeed great.

this.

[pawpaw]

All we have in T-Town is a creepy place called Fantasyland.

Oh...this kind of guy probably lurks around there, huh?

[e_wind]

The sweet innocent ones who turn out to be raging nymphos behind closed are indeed great.

this.

Yes

[TEO]

Just when this entire board was ready to die from lack of entertainment Meg brings it back to life! Best thread in years...Thank you Gurlfriend... :) Motherfuckin' TEO...

[megalicious]

I love y'all.:-*

[megalicious]

So, dudes, any more advice?

I really appreciate it! :-*

[Jaimoe]

So, dudes, any more advice?

I really appreciate it! :-*

Such as? 

[megalicious]

I feel like I am always the one who initiates the sexytimes. How do I get my dude to be more aggressive? Always being the initiator sucks. :-[

[Jaimoe]

I feel like I am always the one who initiates the sexytimes. How do I get my dude to be more aggressive? Always being the initiator sucks. :-[

I see. Well, I'm not generally aggressive either. In my head I'm very aggressive, but then in reality, I sometimes start thinking about my moves too much and it becomes non-natural, which can kill the mood. I think you either are or aren't aggressive. That being said, I think any couple can work through this and find a suitable middle-ground. I know I'm trying.

[megalicious]

That's true. I wish I knew how to find that middle ground. My always being the initiator makes me feel so undesirable, as if I'm just completely repulsive. It's frustrating. I would give anything to be able to capture his interest again. :-[

[Fully]

That's true. I wish I knew how to find that middle ground. My always being the initiator makes me feel so undesirable, as if I'm just completely repulsive. It's frustrating. I would give anything to be able to capture his interest again. :-[

Get him buzzed or high, or just sext him all day and hope that he makes the move when you get home. Facebook chatting from other rooms works too. Or just get used to being the one who asks if he wants to do it. If he participates regularly, he finds you desirable and he's just lazy about initiating. Or you can always do the old passive-agressive, I'm not initiating until he does thing, but you better be prepared to wait awhile and possibly be disappointed.

[mjk73]

I feel your pain Meg. 99% of the time, I'm the one who has to initiate which actually takes a bit of the enjoyment out of it all. It's not a lack of interest on my wife's part. It's hard when you have 2 people with slight submissive leanings together. Someone has to be the "dominate" one I guess and neither one of use wants to be.