How To Rock At A My Morning Jacket Concert v4.9

[Sticky Icky Green Stuff]

How To Rock At A My Morning Jacket Concert v4.9 (2010 spring tour edition)

1.) You Must Lose Voice Within First 20minutes of Show to Be Considered A True Fan.
2.) You Must Leave Soaked In The Sweat Of Heaven
3.) You Must Have Made Eye Contact With Tom at least twice.
4.) You Must Shout "Snowy Bramble" minimum once per show.
5.) You Must Get Up In The Jackets Face So They Can Truly Rip Said Face Off.
6.) You Must Move With the Music In Order For the Music to Move You.
7.) At Some Point When It's Fairly Quiet, and if you have any voice left, shout as loud as you can MORE REVERB!
8.) You must forget you can't sing like YY (no mortal can) and try anyway at the top of your lungs
9.) Do clock arms in sync with Patrick. ;D
10.) Close your eyes for 30 secs during the song of your choice to hear it in a whole new way.
11.) Get In The Zone.
12.) You have to sing back the "oh i know" in dancefloors (which will obviously be played with the horn section present this tour).
13.) When a slow song comes on, take advantage of it because not only will it sound beautiful, it will let you catch your breath.
14.) At least one point in the night, turn to someone next to you and give them the "oh my fucking god" look, but don't say anything, and have them reciprocate.
15.) When you hear that new song for the first time....listen and groove accordingly for about 30-45 seconds...and then proceed to rock the fuck out and take it all in because you can only hear it for the first time once
16.) Give arms in the air righteous praise to the Rock Gods for that soul awakening "THUMP" you can feel in you spleen.Bring it Mr.Blankenship!
17.) Feel deep emotion and various chills rise up inside you and instead of trying to control them, turn the knob up to boil.
18.) Glow sticks are not weapons to be used against the band; they are useless against the flying v - Never bring a glow stick to an axe fight
19.) If you ever find yourself in a one-man mosh pit, don't
20.)  And then both, in unison, break out 2 joints to share with all the people around you.  Preferably pre- Steam Engine, Run Thru or another anticipated extended jam.  Mandatory pre-Cobra.
21.) If "War Begun" or "Steam Engine" are played, weep openly.
22.) Laugh out loud at least once, when you are overwhelmed with how ridiculously good they are.  Shaking your head from side to side in disbelief while chuckling.  kind of a "are you kidding me" chuckle.
23.) Check out the start of Wordless Chorus. That's what I'm talkin aboot kids.       
http://www.archive.org/details/mmj2006-11-20.The_Pageant_St_Louis_MO
24.) If you're rocking hard as fuck and the next song is chill, use it as an opportunity to catch your breath - be respectful and quiet if possible during songs like Bermuda Highway, Look At You, etc.
25.) If you're close to the stage and Jim is in the zone, close to the edge, be ready to catch him.  Even in the dark.
26.) Just Shut the Fuck Up during Dondante! 
27.) Always bring a single red rose to lay upon the stage for Bo.
28.) Surrender to the thundering bass as Tommy gets locked into his rock-destroyer stance and blasts you right dead in the chest.
29.) If you have to piss during a show, use a bathroom not your cup.
30.) Do not piss on people. (see: #29)
31.) If you are a minor do the rest of the fanbase a favor and do not drink until you are puking on people.  It's gross and offensive.
32.) #'s 29-31 can be bundled under: check yourself before you wreck yourself.
33.) when you make eye contact with jim, or any of the guys, that is your moment.  yours & his.  nobody else is there.  just you two.  savor it.
34.) if you can't dance well, dance like a fool.  cuz who fucking cares anyway!
35.) Bring someone new to a show.   Watch him/her out of the corner of your eye.   Try to catch the precise moment when the lightbulb goes on that this is the best shit they've ever seen.
36.) You know the songs better than the newbie you bring.   Do not let him/her leave at inopportune times.
Example:
Them:  "This sounds slow - I'm off for a piss and beer run"
You:  "This is Dondante.  You're not going anywhere".
          b.) If said friend does stay to enjoy Dondante make sure they follow rules #26, 29-32.
37.) Cell phones are only to be used to take pictures with if you don't own a digital camera. All of your real friends are at the show with you, on stage and in the crowd. Airplane mode should be on for the entire show, including the opener whom you may not care about.
38.) Save Energy and Help Fight Global Warming by Shutting Off Your Cellphone once you get into the show.
39.) Refrain from using flash if you're compelled to take photos.
40.) Give/Get a random high five to/from a stranger during Mahgeetah. 
41.) Once, and only once during a show, when the tingles come over you, and you realize how lucky you are (in the history and future of the world) to be witnessing an event as monumental as a My Morning Jacket concert, you can levitate a little.  No more than 1 1/2 - 2 1/4 inches off the ground though...you don't want to freak out the people behind you.
42.) Always, ALWAYS wear sensible shoes, especially if you're planning on jumping up and down a lot. Your legs will thank you the next day.
43) When the first notes of HotBM are played, and then the initial screaming part takes place, be sure to tilt your head back, and scream to the heavens at the top of your lungs "Oh Oh Oh OhOH OH OH OH" etc. as if angels are coming down from the sky

feel free to add to the list, it's incomplete and in need of revisions.

[el_chode]

6) You must move with the music in order for the music to move you

[Sticky Icky Green Stuff]

6) You must move with the music in order for the music to move you

good one chode, very good indeed.  updated to version 1.1

[mjkoehler]

7.) At some point when it's fairly quiet, and if you have any voice left, shout a loud as you can MORE REVERB!

BH knows what I'm talkin about

EDIT cuz I can't spell quiet correctly.

[Sticky Icky Green Stuff]

7.) At some point when it's fairly quite, and if you have any voice left, shout a loud as you can MORE REVERB!

BH knows what I'm talkin about

a glorious asset as always mjk.  updated.

[mahg33ta]

8)  You must forget you can't sing like YY (no mortal can) and try anyway at the top of your lungs

[Sticky Icky Green Stuff]

8)  You must forget you can't sing like YY (no mortal can) and try anyway at the top of your lungs

that's a pretty good one for a n00b.   [smiley=thumbsup.gif]

[AlwxanderD10]

Do clock arms in sync with patrick. ;D

[Sticky Icky Green Stuff]

Do clock arms in sync with patrick. ;D

fair enough alwxander.

[el_chode]

Ok, this may be a bit more personal, but I highly recommend it:

10) Close your eyes for 30 secs during the song of your choice to hear it in a whole new way

[Sticky Icky Green Stuff]

Ok, this may be a bit more personal, but I highly recommend it:

10) Close your eyes for 30 secs during the song of your choice to hear it in a whole new way

that's a good one.  it made me think of one I couldn't believe I forgot. one of the most important of all rules.  Get In The Zone.

[wakebord]

had to think about this for a second, because this one for me has become second nature, but you have to sing back the "oh i know" in dancefloors (which will obviously be played with the horn section present this tour).

[Sticky Icky Green Stuff]

had to think about this for a second, because this one for me has become second nature, but you have to sing back the "oh i know" in dancefloors (which will obviously be played with the horn section present this tour).

I can dig it.

[el_chode]

When a slow song comes on, take advantage of it because not only will it sound beautiful, it will let you catch your breath

[Sticky Icky Green Stuff]

When a slow song comes on, take advantage of it because not only will it sound beautiful, it will let you catch your breath

Qual-it-T yo.  don't stop chode, you're squirtin' out some goodness.

[Ghosts_on_TV]

At least one point in the night, turn to someone next to you and give them the "oh my fucking god" look, but don't say anything, and have them reciprocate.

[Sticky Icky Green Stuff]

At least one point in the night, turn to someone next to you and give them the "oh my fucking god" look, but don't say anything, and have them reciprocate.

marvelous ghost, marvelous.  

[capt. scotty]

When you hear that new song for the first time....listen and groove accordingly for about 30-45 seconds...and then proceed to rock the fuck out and take it all in because you can only hear it for the first time once

[kymomandstuff]

Give arms in the air righteous praise to the Rock Gods for that soul awakening "THUMP" you can feel in you spleen.Bring it Mr.Blankenship!

[Sticky Icky Green Stuff]

When you hear that new song for the first time....listen and groove accordingly for about 30-45 seconds...and then proceed to rock the fuck out and take it all in because you can only hear it for the first time once

I like this one.  It shows respect.