Hey Everyone

weeniebeenie · Aug 27, 2009, 08:30 PM

Hey DB!!!!
So good to see you around the board again.
And as Tom Petty says, "It'll all work out."

the_wizzard · Aug 27, 2009, 09:08 PM

Hi DB! We have missed you around here. I am so sorry to hear of your difficult time recently. I think everyone has mentioned the noteworthy news of the forum. I did, however, post a photo for you in this thread (on page 2)....

http://www.mymorningjacket.com/cgi-bin/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1239165598/0

sweatboard · Aug 27, 2009, 10:02 PM

Hey DB, good to hear from you again. Hang in there brother, brighter days ahead.

Ghosts_on_TV · Aug 28, 2009, 02:26 AM

DB!!!! Good to see ya around! Sorry about the situation, but like everyone else said, It WILL get better.

dragonboy · Aug 28, 2009, 09:00 AM

Jaimoe, Ruckus, Meg, BH, PennyLane, Bbill, MJ, Angry, TEO, aMD, Dark, Walter, Corey, Yespachick, Alwx, Walts, Justin, WB, Wiz, Sweatboard, Ghosts, everyone...thank you so much for all of your kind words & support! It means so much!!

Pleased to hear you're all doing OK.

Congratulations to TK & Colleen!!!

& Lovedog & PennyLane hooked up? Lovedog...you da man! Show me a guy here who doesn't have a crush on Penny & I'll show you a liar ;)

I got the Tribute & MOF info via email, don't have Tribute yet (have only bought one new CD since I left Japan (Maxwell's Black Summer's Night)) but have been playing the tracks on myspace. Like the MOF tracks too, especially The Sandman.

Thanks again guys, you really are the best!

& get your keyboard fixed aMD - I can't stand that shit! ;)

AMightyCaporal · Aug 28, 2009, 09:27 AM

QuoteJaimoe, Ruckus, Meg, BH, PennyLane, Bbill, MJ, Angry, TEO, aMD, Dark, Walter, Corey, Yespachick, Alwx, Walts, Justin, WB, Wiz, Sweatboard, Ghosts, everyone...thank you so much for all of your kind words & support! It means so much!!

Pleased to hear you're all doing OK.

Congratulations to TK & Colleen!!!

& Lovedog & PennyLane hooked up? Lovedog...you da man! Show me a guy here who doesn't have a crush on Penny & I'll show you a liar ;)

I got the Tribute & MOF info via email, don't have Tribute yet (have only bought one new CD since I left Japan (Maxwell's Black Summer's Night)) but have been playing the tracks on myspace. Like the MOF tracks too, especially The Sandman.

Thanks again guys, you really are the best!

& get your keyboard fixed aMD - I can't stand that shit! ;)

DB,
You absolutely must get Tribute To...

Its beautifully fantastic. Plus I think that "all things must pass" can be a positive message for you (and for me as well) in these days that seem a bit heavier than those in the past. Be well- all things must pass!

dragonboy · Aug 28, 2009, 09:31 AM

Cheers aMC, yeah All Things Must Pass could well be very fitting right now...

capt. scotty · Aug 28, 2009, 10:35 AM

Hey DB!

Good to see you back, although it wouldve been better if under different circumstances. I hope everything works out for you, however that may be. I think I remember you saying not too long ago you missed your family and kind of felt like getting out of Japan, so maybe its all for the best if thats how it ends up.

Ive been wanting to get the DITC thread back on track, maybe nows a good time

Cheers! [smiley=beer.gif]

Love Dogg · Aug 28, 2009, 10:37 AM

Quote
...Show me a guy here who doesn't have a crush on Penny & I'll show you a liar ;)

That's what I keep telling her. ;D

Welcome back, DB. Sometimes when life throws you lemons, you have to say, "Wait a fuckin' minute...what the hell am I supposd to do with all these lemons?" And then start throwing them back. And sometimes when your soul is sucked out of you, that's when you find the strength you never knew you had...and oasis in the desert...a pocket of air under water...a compass when you're lost.

You're respected and missed 'round these parts. PEACE! :)

dragonboy · Aug 28, 2009, 10:43 AM

Thanks LoveDog :)

QuoteI think I remember you saying not too long ago you missed your family and kind of felt like getting out of Japan, so maybe its all for the best if thats how it ends up.

Cheers Capt, good to be back! I was missing my family but now I miss my wife more than I've ever missed anyone or anything in my whole life.

Like Stephen Stills said, Love The One You're With! The grass isn't always greener on the other side, count your blessings people & make the most of what you have...

Soulshine · Sep 01, 2009, 09:09 PM

Hi DB-

We dont really know each other. I think you were taking some time away as I was coming in. I do want to tell you that I missed your contribution to the board and tell you that I hope you are able to keep holding on. Things work out and they get better- just keep holding on. I'm sorry you have been having a hard time. It sure seems to me like you have a lot of friends here and a good support system. :)

kydiddle · Sep 01, 2009, 10:32 PM

May this board act as a bit of a distraction while you work things out.

Ky

:)

Jon T. · Sep 01, 2009, 10:40 PM

Hey DB. Good to see you again and like everyone else I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. In an effort to lighten things up a bit, I'll tell you like an old baseball coach used to say - hang in there like a booger, kid. :)

darkglow · Sep 02, 2009, 02:58 AM

db,

Godspeed! Not to sound like a jacket-geek (but i guess that's what we're all here for) I just wanted to say that your words remind me of old MMJ reverb-heavy space rock where the last note of At Dawn rings out over and over intentionally, reminding you of the importance of the message. When I read about your situation and the words you wrote it made me stop and stand for just that second longer today when parting ways with everyday people I see. Take nothing for granted.

They say that if you can love something then it means you have learned to understand it for what it is. If something is a "thing" then it must be a finite object. Meaning it has a beginning and an end, a rise and fall. Am I making sense here?

dragonboy · Sep 02, 2009, 08:15 AM

Thank you very much Soulshine, Kydiddle, Jon & Darkglow.

I love what you wrote Darkglow.

Relationships are hard work, I guess everyone knows that already but they really are, aren't they? I was missing my family, thought maybe I had had enough of Japan, my wife & I weren't getting along...we had a big fight, she went to her parent's & we both decided it was time to take a break. The big problem now is her parents have convinced her that she is better off without me & are pushing hard for divorce (they knew that we had been having problems, she was going over to their house more often at the weekend etc)

I realise now that she is the best thing that ever happened to me, I miss everything about her - even the things that drove me crazy. More importantly I realise my mistakes now & I have accepted my share of the blame instead of blaming her for everything & am truly sorry for the way I've treated her of late. She wants to believe that I can change but is too scared to take the risk right now; me moving back there, finding a new place together, me finding a new job, sending all my things back to Japan etc...it's a big deal & she is scared that the same fights will happen again & we'll be right back where we were again in a couple of months.
Even if she does decide to give it one more shot she will still have her parents to deal with. In the meantime I'm stuck in limbo without a house or a job. I'm grateful to my parents for letting me stay here but I don't have any friends here & it's difficult at times. So what do I do, keeping apologising & try to convince her that we can change & have a good chance 2nd time around (I truly believe this because A) we've both admitted our mistakes & apologised for them, something both of us had a hard time with in the past & B) I realise that the grass isn't greener & love her more than ever before) or do I give up & try to make a new start? I can't stay here living off my parents forever, it's not fair on them + I think I'll go crazy if I don't do something with my life soon (it's been a couple of months now)

I've heard a lot of people say that your 2nd marriage is better because you've learnt from your mistakes but I don't want to get divorced, I don't want to be just another statistic. I want to have the closest thing I can to a perfect marriage 2nd time around with my wife, not with another woman.

Maybe I've said too much? :-[

Apologies for ranting like this but there are so many good people here & I respect your thoughts & opinions...

Penny Lane · Sep 02, 2009, 09:03 AM

thanks for sharing all that DBoy. wish i had some better advice and it must be so tough on you right now. a great songwriter (Richard Ashy) once saidi 'being in limbo is bad for the soul' so my thoughts are with you. sounds like you are doing what you can to fight for her and as long as there is still trust and respect left between you two, seems like you'd have a fighting chance :-) i guess at the same time, you need to start planning life w/out her and figuring out your next move.

ky is right though, i first came on this board for a distraction from a breakup.

dragonboy · Sep 02, 2009, 09:53 AM

Thanks for the advice Penny.

Yeah it's good to be back here on the forum amongst friends, that's fo sho :)

Soulshine · Sep 02, 2009, 11:19 AM

QuoteThank you very much Soulshine, Kydiddle, Jon & Darkglow.

I love what you wrote Darkglow.

Relationships are hard work, I guess everyone knows that already but they really are, aren't they? I was missing my family, thought maybe I had had enough of Japan, my wife & I weren't getting along...we had a big fight, she went to her parent's & we both decided it was time to take a break. The big problem now is her parents have convinced her that she is better off without me & are pushing hard for divorce (they knew that we had been having problems, she was going over to their house more often at the weekend etc)

I realise now that she is the best thing that ever happened to me, I miss everything about her - even the things that drove me crazy. More importantly I realise my mistakes now & I have accepted my share of the blame instead of blaming her for everything & am truly sorry for the way I've treated her of late. She wants to believe that I can change but is too scared to take the risk right now; me moving back there, finding a new place together, me finding a new job, sending all my things back to Japan etc...it's a big deal & she is scared that the same fights will happen again & we'll be right back where we were again in a couple of months.
Even if she does decide to give it one more shot she will still have her parents to deal with. In the meantime I'm stuck in limbo without a house or a job. I'm grateful to my parents for letting me stay here but I don't have any friends here & it's difficult at times. So what do I do, keeping apologising & try to convince her that we can change & have a good chance 2nd time around (I truly believe this because A) we've both admitted our mistakes & apologised for them, something both of us had a hard time with in the past & B) I realise that the grass isn't greener & love her more than ever before) or do I give up & try to make a new start? I can't stay here living off my parents forever, it's not fair on them + I think I'll go crazy if I don't do something with my life soon (it's been a couple of months now)

I've heard a lot of people say that your 2nd marriage is better because you've learnt from your mistakes but I don't want to get divorced, I don't want to be just another statistic. I want to have the closest thing I can to a perfect marriage 2nd time around with my wife, not with another woman.

Maybe I've said too much? :-[

Apologies for ranting like this but there are so many good people here & I respect your thoughts & opinions...

DB,

Don't take no for an answer. Not in a crazy stalker-ish way, but fight for her and don't stop until you get her back. It seems to me that you both have identified and realized what went wrong and what needs to happen in order to make it right. I know it would be a huge pain and inconvenience for the 2 of you to give it another go, but if you have the ways and means you should def go back and do it. I can close doors and walk away from things fairly easily, but at the same time I do believe some people are able to change therefore giving 2nd chances is important. Have you said all of the amazing things you wrote here to her? If not, do it. Also, speaking from a woman's point of view you need to SHOW her these things. Actions speak louder than words and it seems like a lot of people are really good at talk talk talk, but that doesn't mean shit. It's what you DO that matters. It seems to me in order for you to do that you have got to get closer to her again. As for her parents...that's tough. I'm sure they just want their daughter to be happy. I think if you are able to make it work and you guys are able to give the 2nd go around a chance like you speak of they will eventually come around. They probably just want to protect her so if you are able to roll back in there and you can rock her socks off-I'm sure it will only be a matter of time before they're on your side again.
Good luck, friend. Please keep us posted. :)

capt. scotty · Sep 02, 2009, 11:37 AM

One thing is for sure, you gotta try/keep trying to get back together. I agree with what Soulshine said, and based on what you said, if you two can make it work, you're probably going to need to be the one to take more of the risk as far as moving out there and all. She'll probably feel more comfortable with trying to mend the relationship that way, and youll also be showing her its what youve realized that you truly want and that youre in it for the long haul.

Keep tryin.

Sassbox · Sep 02, 2009, 11:46 AM

"I've heard a lot of people say that your 2nd marriage is better because you've learnt from your mistakes"

Well...not everyone learns from their mistakes! It sounds like the two of you have, though, and to that extent you are that far ahead of the game.

Wish I had something more profound than keep looking forward, but...keep looking forward, be it to a continued life with your wife or a new journey. The best to you whatever path you take, and please feel free to add me on FB if you wish (leperilloux@aol.com).